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Anyone else ever feel like this?

hoping4morehoping4more member
in Secondary IF
It just hit me. I am scared. Terrified even. I am starting provera today, then after I bleed I start repronex and femara and estrace. 

I am not afraid of the needles, the ultrasounds or any of the technical stuff. I am afraid of failing. I am afraid that I already have too much hope built up and that it will fail and I will be crushed. 

I'm not talking about the normal "what if this don't work" fear. I mean the crying to think about it, don't even want to do the cycle fear. I usually am positive or sad then move on if a cycle fails, but I don't know what has gotten into me now. Crazy, right?

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AquinnahDori
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Re: Anyone else ever feel like this?

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    AmandaMacDAmandaMacD member
    {{HUGS}} Unfortunately I know the feeling all too well.  I think it is normal.  ART is invasive and even though we don't mind the needles, u/s, etc., the disappointment of it possibly not working after all of the effort we put in is DEVASTATING.  Try your best to think positively...the motto I live by is "where attention goes, energy flows."  Hang in there.  Hopefully this will be your cycle.
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    Doriimage
    "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming..."
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    sommerraynesommerrayne
    Absolutely! Everything about this is terrifying - "What if this works?!" "What if it doesn't work?" "What if it works TOO well?!"

    Hang in there babe
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    hoping4morehoping4more member
    Thanks ladies, I bought the syringes and sharps today so I am slowly getting ready. 
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    AquinnahDori
    "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming..."
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    hope4ushope4us member
    I feel the same way too sometimes.  My mind is always thinking about everything.  I like AMD motto...I'll keep that one in mind next time.  Hopefully this is it for you!  Hugs!
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    TTC #2 since Nov '07
    Tried 4 cycles of Clomid, TI, Gonal-f, and IUI's - all BFFN's
    Both tubes removed Nov '09
    Low AMH = 0.3
    IVF #1 for Feb '10 - cancelled due to poor response - Gonal-f and Repronex
    IVF #1.2 for June '10 - Gonal-f, Menopur, and micro Lupron
    ER - 6/19 (2 retrieved), ET - 6/22 (1 transferred with ICSI), Beta 7/5 = BFFN
    IVF #2 for Nov '10 was cancelled due to poor response - Follistim, Repronex, and micro Lupron
    IVF #2.2 for Feb '11 - Gonal-f, Repronex, and Ganirelix
    ER - 2/24 (8 retrieved), ET - 3/1 (2 transferred with ICSI), froze 3, Beta 3/11 = BFFN
    FET - 4/19 (3 transferred), Beta 4/28 = BFP, EDD 1/4/12
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