It just hit me. I am scared. Terrified even. I am starting provera today, then after I bleed I start repronex and femara and estrace.
I am not afraid of the needles, the ultrasounds or any of the technical stuff. I am afraid of failing. I am afraid that I already have too much hope built up and that it will fail and I will be crushed.
I'm not talking about the normal "what if this don't work" fear. I mean the crying to think about it, don't even want to do the cycle fear. I usually am positive or sad then move on if a cycle fails, but I don't know what has gotten into me now. Crazy, right?
{{HUGS}} Unfortunately I know the feeling all too well. I think it is normal. ART is invasive and even though we don't mind the needles, u/s, etc., the disappointment of it possibly not working after all of the effort we put in is DEVASTATING. Try your best to think positively...the motto I live by is "where attention goes, energy flows." Hang in there. Hopefully this will be your cycle.
I feel the same way too sometimes. My mind is always thinking about everything. I like AMD motto...I'll keep that one in mind next time. Hopefully this is it for you! Hugs!
TTC #2 since Nov '07
Tried 4 cycles of Clomid, TI, Gonal-f, and IUI's - all BFFN's
Both tubes removed Nov '09
Low AMH = 0.3
IVF #1 for Feb '10 - cancelled due to poor response - Gonal-f and Repronex
IVF #1.2 for June '10 - Gonal-f, Menopur, and micro Lupron
ER - 6/19 (2 retrieved), ET - 6/22 (1 transferred with ICSI), Beta 7/5 = BFFN
IVF #2 for Nov '10 was cancelled due to poor response - Follistim, Repronex, and micro Lupron
IVF #2.2 for Feb '11 - Gonal-f, Repronex, and Ganirelix
ER - 2/24 (8 retrieved), ET - 3/1 (2 transferred with ICSI), froze 3, Beta 3/11 = BFFN
FET - 4/19 (3 transferred), Beta 4/28 = BFP, EDD 1/4/12
Re: Anyone else ever feel like this?
"Just keep swimming, just keep swimming..."
Hang in there babe
"Just keep swimming, just keep swimming..."
TTC #2 since Nov '07
Tried 4 cycles of Clomid, TI, Gonal-f, and IUI's - all BFFN's
Both tubes removed Nov '09
Low AMH = 0.3
IVF #1 for Feb '10 - cancelled due to poor response - Gonal-f and Repronex
IVF #1.2 for June '10 - Gonal-f, Menopur, and micro Lupron
ER - 6/19 (2 retrieved), ET - 6/22 (1 transferred with ICSI), Beta 7/5 = BFFN
IVF #2 for Nov '10 was cancelled due to poor response - Follistim, Repronex, and micro Lupron
IVF #2.2 for Feb '11 - Gonal-f, Repronex, and Ganirelix
ER - 2/24 (8 retrieved), ET - 3/1 (2 transferred with ICSI), froze 3, Beta 3/11 = BFFN
FET - 4/19 (3 transferred), Beta 4/28 = BFP, EDD 1/4/12