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anyone's spouse suffer from depression?

bargar18bargar18
in Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months

DH has suffered from depression his whole life.  He lost his job at the beginning of the year and it's been really difficult to deal with lately.  I just need a little pep talk or hear from anyone who's dealt with this.  DH has a Dr he goes to, is on medication and is aware of his issues.  It's just hard to be the one on the other side sometimes.

Anyone deal with this?

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Re: anyone's spouse suffer from depression?

  • ilovemygirlsilovemygirls member

    Not my DH, but I was in a long term relationship with someone who suffered from depression & anxiety.  It can be so difficult being the partner in that situation.  In my case, his issues turned into becoming verbally abusive to me, which was unacceptable, and he would go off his meds on a whim.

    It's most excellent that your DH has a physician & is on medication.  If you are having relationship issues due to the depression, it would be good if you can go to counseling together.  Unfortunately my ex also refused to do that with me.  Keeping our relationship going became all "my" job and ultimately that didn't work out. Hopefully he is in partnership with you on that and is willing to do what you need as well.  Best of luck- I hope he's able to find a job soon so he has a positive focus.  

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  • bargar18bargar18
    imageilovemygirls:

    Not my DH, but I was in a long term relationship with someone who suffered from depression & anxiety.  It can be so difficult being the partner in that situation.  In my case, his issues turned into becoming verbally abusive to me, which was unacceptable, and he would go off his meds on a whim.

    It's most excellent that your DH has a physician & is on medication.  If you are having relationship issues due to the depression, it would be good if you can go to counseling together.  Unfortunately my ex also refused to do that with me.  Keeping our relationship going became all "my" job and ultimately that didn't work out. Hopefully he is in partnership with you on that and is willing to do what you need as well.  Best of luck- I hope he's able to find a job soon so he has a positive focus.  

    i appreciate your response.  DH has come a long way with his depression and i know that the current situation is something that will pass.  he's an amazing father and really is a good partner.  it's just been really difficult lately because his depression is really taking a toll on both of us.  sometimes it's so lonely when no one really understands or knows what you're dealing with.  thanks for the advice :-)

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  • AFC921AFC921

    DH does not suffer from depression but he does suffer from anxiety.  It scares the crap out of me whenever he has a panic attack because there is nothing I can do to help him other than hold his hand until it passes.  DH's anxiety has been getting  worse lately so I have really been pushing him to see his doc and either get on some meds or get into some counseling. His main problem is that he does not deal with stress very well and it manifests into anxiety. I understand when you say it hard to be on the other side and how it can really take a toll.

    Dh is also a really great dad and partner but he can be so darn stubborn when it comes to getting help for himself. I am glad that your DH has come such a long way with his depression. It gives me hope that Dh well hopefully do the same w/ his anxiety. I wish all the best for you and your DH!

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  • erino&chrisherino&chrish
    I am sorry you are dealing with that.  My DH doesn't have depression, but my ex did.  It is really hard to deal with.  Is he irritable, just generally down, or does he not have any energy (or all of the above)?  Are his meds helping?  I found that learning about it helped a lot.  Have you read books on depression?  The Noonday Demon is a good one.  Hang in there, and if it gets really rough maybe there is some type of counseling you can go to for spouses/loved ones of people who have depression?
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  • EStar628EStar628
    A few years ago, H went through a serious spell of depression/anxiety.  He went to a counselor and was on meds.  It was extremely difficult for both of us.  He would push me away even when I was trying to be there for him.  I reached a point where I didn't know how to help him, and it was hard for me to deal with him when he didn't want me around.  We got through it and (as cliche as it is) it truly made our relationship so much stronger.  After going through such a dark time, we knew we could be together through anything. 
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  • jersangljersangl member
    Actually yes. This recently started. It is very frustrating. He is such a good father and husband, but still has been lacking. It's tiring because I feel like I am on top of him for everything right now. He has a doctor appointment planned but not till October. I wish we didnt have to wait so long
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  • kes3237kes3237
    Not my DH but my sister has battled depression and anxiety her entire life.  It's not often mentioned how difficult these diseases can be on family members.  Sometimes it's more than I can deal with but then if I "take a break" from her I feel guilty.  I feel for you!
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