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Babies: 6 - 9 Months
Judgemental Friend (Vent)
A quick back story first...I have known this friend for almost 20 years. When we were in high school she was always trying to get me to go to church with her because she didn't think my church was holy enough. Then when I switched colleges she was mad at me because I didn't go to her Christian college. When we finished college she stopped talking to me because she didn't think I was making good choices (I still haven't figured that one out because I was drinking or having sex). I didn't talk to her for almost 7 years. A couple of years ago I went to lunch with her and a few other friends. When we started talking again I didn't tell her I was living with my husband (boyfriend at the time). I just didn't want to hear her judgement.
Fast forward to now...I haven't seen her since I got married in May 09. 2 weeks after I got married I found out I was pregnant. She was furious that I had sex before I got married. I was 30 years old and didn't have sex until I was 28 (I think I waited long enough). Now she keeps emailing me saying I need to apologize to her and God for having Kate before I got married. First of all, I don't think I need to apologize to her. Second of all, I have my peace about conceiving Kate before I got married. I can't imagine her not being in my life. I am just irritated at my friend. I'm having a hard time not giving her a peace of my mind.
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Re: Judgemental Friend (Vent)
I think you need to ask yourself the hard question: Why are you friends with someone who doesn't agree with your life choices?
I'm sorry, anyone who demanded an apology to themselves and God would be laughed right out of my life. I understand that there are people a lot more religious than me out there, but even if YOU are, she has no right to demand an apology from you about a decision you made that does not affect her at all!!
You can disagree with things a friend does; I certainly do. but if you feel so negatively about the way a friend lives their life, you probably shouldn't be friends. To a certain extent, you need to have the same basic ideologies to be good friends. There has to be common ground and you guys don't seem to have any. I have to wonder why she's friends with you!
Seems to me like it's about time you give her a piece of your mind.
Wow.
I don't think I could have held my tongue for this long. You have to make your own peace with God - not with her. I was 20 weeks pregnant at my wedding and even **gasp** took communion!! I say tell her what's in your heart and ask her to lose your email address
I had a friend very similar like that. She did not speak to me for years because I was not living the appropriate life style. 8 years later- she went crazy and wound up with a serious STD. Oh and she's never been married, so go figure.
IMO - you don't need someone judging your every move. GL!
I had a very hard time letting her back in my life because of the things you mentioned. I think she is friends with me because she thinks I need saving. I believe in God, pray, go to church and read the Bible so I'm not sure what I need to be saved from. I highly doubt I will ever see her again.
You should send her an email, and let her know that her judging you is also against God. Then tell her that she is no longer your friends because a friend doesn't treat another friend the way she is treating you.
I had a friend like this, and I stopped being her friend right away. Every few months I will get a friend request and I decline. I know that she would judge me and I don't need anyone posting on my page.
Even if you didn't do those things you don't need to be saved. I'm sorry she's treating you this way, but the upside is that you get to choose not to see her/be around her anymore
When I have a situation like that with a judgmental friend who claims to be speaking for the Lord, I simply refer them back to Him:
Romans 3:23 (NIV): "For ALL have sinned and fall short of the glory of God."
This "friend" is certainly entitled to her beliefs, and she can think what you did was wrong. Whatevs. But the idea that you owe HER some kind of apology for something that is absolutely none of her business is not only absurd, but extremely offensive. Who does she think she is?
I couldn't be friends with someone like this.
She is toxic to the extreme and hiding it behind a cloak of "Christianity". And I put that in quotations because that is NOT the kind of behavior that I think God would want! Your life is NONE of her business. And why the heck would you need to apologize to HER for anything?
I would not be friends with someone like that. No way.