What do you say?

Ms H13 · August 2010

When people ask if you want to have kids?

I was chit chatting with an aquaintance at work today about my nieces and he (very innocently and nicely) asked if we were planning to have kids. I just kind of stammered and said 'we'll see'. What does everyone else say/do?

ams8099 · August 2010

Honestly, most people know about our troubles so I don't get that question. When I use to get that question I would just say, "one day" or "when the time is right"

Hels · August 2010

I have a whole "routine" about not wanting kids now..not ready..want to travel more... blah blah blah.. it's getting old.

bellabloo · August 2010

I used to say "we're too busy enjoying late dinners and wine", but its starting to get old, so now I just say "we'll see, whatever happens." What I'd really love to say is "I can't f'ing get pregnant, so don't ask."

everam01 · August 2010

To people we don't know well, we say, "Hopefully sometime soon!"

Our close friends/family know about our IF problems.

mrs.conananan · August 2010

bellabloo:
I used to say "we're too busy enjoying late dinners and wine", but its starting to get old, so now I just say "we'll see, whatever happens." What I'd really love to say is "I can't f'ing get pregnant, so don't ask."

This, except I get people asking me if I am pregnant! I really hate people sometimes. Angry

lckcdc3 · August 2010

I usually just say "hopefully one day". I always want to say something snarky but its not their fault I'm infertile. Its usually too hard for me to explain to someone WHY I can't have kids. I don't like to feel I have to "justify" my reasons for not having any kids yet. Its when they push it or something stupid that really upsets me.

Ms H13 · August 2010

LovedByHim316:

When people ask when we're having kids, i'll usually say "That's a great question, let me know when you get the answer".

My SIL who also struggles with IF is much more ballsy and will say, "So you want to know when we plan on having lots of unprotected sex and conceiving? That's personal." It's pretty funny unless you're on the recieving end of that comment

Ha Ha!! I'll have to remember this!

crownedbee · August 2010

It depends on the situation and who is asking.

Sometimes I say "Yes, we want kids, but we're struggling with infertility and we're trying to patiently wait for our baby."

But sometimes I just say "We're working on it."

I signed the pledge at resolve.org to raise infertility awareness so if it doesn't make the situation awkward, I usually share a little more than they probably want to know.

katib77 · August 2010

Friends & family know we've been trying for over a year. And most of them know now that we're having trouble. For those that don't if they say "I thought you were going to try and get pregnant this year?" I'll respond with "well we're having some troubles." And leave it at that unless they ask. And even the ones that do it depends on who I tell since DH is a little sensitive with me talking about MFI to them.

For people who are just random (people I'm not close with at work, etc.) I say "Yes we want kids" or "well we've been tryong for a year, but no luck yet." It's kind of funny how people ask but I don't think they even care what they answer is because they don't bother with follow up questions no matter how I've answered. It's just a question they ask, like "How 'bout this weather?"

ecleptic · August 2010

Extended family/friends are told that we're infertile and hope to have a child as soon as we can.Not a secret- we figure the more people who know, the less stupid questions we get.

Friends of friends/family or little old ladies who I know mean well but are just being nosy are usually told that we'd love kids but we'll see what life has in store for us.

Ladybug71109 · August 2010

Prior to testing/diagnosis we weren't telling anyone that we were trying. Everyone knows that I have wanted to be a mother for years. But we just told everyone "once I'm done with grad school" or "once I finish student teaching".

Once we starting seeing and RE and told friends/family...I suddenly got very annoyed with these questions (especially from those who knew we were trying). My usual response is something like "Well, it's not at easy as the sex ed teacher said it was!...we're workin on it!"

For some people, I've just started ignoring the question. My BIL's fiance (not liked at all my any of the family) keeps asking "When are you going to make me an Auntie??"... I just walk away. She knows what we're going through. It's easier to walk away than to punch her Wink

Want a personalized experience?

What do you say?

Re: What do you say?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards