When did you tell people about your pregnancy?

shegak · August 2010

So sorry if this has been asked a million times before. I'm struggling with this...

I had 2 losses in a row. My first loss was my identical twins at 11 weeks. We told close family and friends at 8 weeks (we had seen only 1 baby in 2 ultrasounds) and I had to tell my boss at work soon after because I missed work due to being in the hospital and found out through another u/s that we had 2 babies! It ended up that a lot of people knew I was pregnant. When I lost them, it was obviously devastating to have to spread the news. I never want to go through that again. With my 2nd loss, it was so early that only DH and my mom knew.

Now that I'm pregnant again, I don't know what I'll do. I would like to wait a full 12+ weeks (God willing I get that far) but I'm not much of a secret keeper. I know that I never want to go through what I went through before if anything happens, but I also want to celebrate this with my close family and friends for as long as I have it.

Just curious how others handled telling about their PG after loss.... Thanks!

kilissa · August 2010

I told close family and friends right away. They all knew we were trying anyways. Everyone else will find out after my next 12 week appointment. I would just tell the people you want for support and save the rest for when you are comfortable.

DaisyCakes18 · August 2010

We told immediate family at 7 (almost 8) weeks after seeing the heartbeat. Everyone else we waited until my 14-week appt. when we heard the HB on the doppler.

hopingwaiting · August 2010

Sorry for your losses.

We told family and close friends after our NT scan (12w2d). Next circle found out in second tri. Final circle found out when the belly became unmistakable haha.

Sonadora · August 2010

We told the world just before 13 weeks. Told my parents right away and his parents around week 8 when we saw a heartbeat on the first u/s. Good luck and congrats!

magdalina.h · August 2010

I told a few people early one. Those are the ones that I've gone to a lot for support. We told our families at 8wk and 10wk. I'll be telling my co-workers in 3 weeks.

darkskyy · August 2010

I told at 13 weeks, after the 12 week u/s. No one knew about the m/c though.

ashleyy0219 · August 2010

We told immediate family and close friends that had been a support for me after my loss right away.

I'm still not sure when we plan on telling the world. I have an NT scan on Thursday and I'll be 12 wks or after my next appt when I'm 15 wks...not sure yet. I'm leaning towards 15 wks but with the amount of weight I've gained I'm sure people will be guessing before then.

Jenny102783 · August 2010

I told my mother right away because I was spotting and I really needed her support if I had another loss. We told my father, DH's parents, and our siblings at 6 weeks after we saw the heart beat. We told everyone else at 12 weeks after my NT scan.

Jessicamz · August 2010

It was really hard, but we waited until after our NT scan at 12 weeks to tell anyone. My family took our m/c really hard and I didn't want to put them through the anxiety of waiting again.

nina&matt · August 2010

My parents and his parents on the same day we took hpt. (It was father's day.) I had to tell work around 6w, bc the MFM agreed I shouldn't go back to work(I'm off summers) So I had to tell personnel and of course my supervisor/coordinator, in order to give them time to work on whatever unpaid leave I had left and find replacement/sub for upcoming school year. My coworkers found out this past weekend, when I didn't show up for the usual end of summer/back to school dinner party. Everyone else will find out when we deliver and bring home our sweet twins.

Brady1* · August 2010

I'm almost 13 weeks and I still haven't really told anyone. My best friend knows and our parents and siblings but that's it. People are assuming I'm pregnant, and with the exception of one person no one has asked yet. We plan on telling after our next appointment around 14.5 wks

Fryday37 · August 2010

i told my family and close friends. i need all the support and prayers i can get! good luck to you and sending you lots of sticky baby dust!

vflipo · August 2010

12 weeks, after the NT. My mom and sisters knew since 4 weeks

DanceDeva4 · August 2010

I told people right away. I didn't make a grand announcement, but for me, it's better to have people know than not know. I miscarried at 14 weeks, so I decided waiting until we were "safe" wasn't worth it this time.

kazpin · August 2010

I told family and close friends from the begining. Other friends we have told since week 12 and currently I have not told my boss and will not do so until almost 20 weeks and because I dont want to have my boss find out without me being the one to tell him, none of my employees are aware of it either..... once I tell my boss it will be when an employee finds out and spreads the news, but I will not be the one to tell them.

TeacherVicky · August 2010

We told my sister right away. We weren't planning on telling our parents for a while, but my nosy mother flat out asked me if I was pregnant over the long weekend. i am the worst liar that ever existed.

We will likely tell DH's parents when I am about 9 weeks. His dad works out of town and will be back then. Otherwise we would have to wait another month.

vlewis515 · August 2010

I told everyone with my 1st pg that ended in m/c when I found out at 6 wks, m/c'd a week later. This time I found out about 10-11 dpo and went ahead and told everyone at 4 wks after going to the doctor and verifying that it was positive. My feeling is that I'm not a secretive person and I'd rather people know what was going on if something happened. As it turned out everything is fine so far and I don't have too much longer.

Obviously this is a very personal choice and you need to do what makes you feel comfortable. There is no right or wrong answer.

Staribeth · August 2010

We told the general public after the NT scan but told the immediate family earlier- my parents, sister, BIL and MH godmother around 7 weeks and the rest of the family around 11.

I am sorry for your losses.

Mrs.EmmaLouise · August 2010

I told work right away, it's a small office and I can't take x-rays while pg, so they needed to know. I told family after the first u/s at 6 weeks. A few close friends know, but not very many people know otherwise. I might eventually tell people....

sinisterkat01 · August 2010

Work had to be told at 5 weeks because of some safety concerns, but we didn't tell family until we were between 15 and 17 weeks!

madladybride · August 2010

I'll let you know... Only our friends who are also pregnant, my boss and DH's boss know. One friend guessed. I've had two losses, too and don't feel like going through all of that again...

We're planning on telling our family over Labor Day. We live about 4 hours from our families, so we figured we would do it then. We're also planning our telling our friends who live up there, too.

northshore25 · August 2010

Congrats on you BFP! We told my Mom and Dad at 8 weeks and then everyone else at 12 weeks. And I was still hesitant than and probably would have waited a bit longer but our excitement got the best of us!

lovethebosox · August 2010

We told our parents and my closest Mom-friends right away. They knew we were trying, and I knew I would need the support through those first weeks no matter what happened.

We have been telling everyone else since the NT scan came back looking good, right around 12 weeks. It was hard to start telling people and I find I am still cautious about how I tell people ("We are hoping DS will be a big brother in January...") but it feels right.

virginiagirl11 · August 2010

The first time around I told my trainer at the gym, swim coach, and two closest swim friends immediately because the trainer & coach needed to know and it was pretty obvious to my friends that something was up as I was much weaker in workouts. After I miscarried in week 6, we told our closest friends everything that had happened and I regretted not telling them sooner because it was SO nice to have their support.

This time around I've already told our closest friends and will tell my trainer this week. Swimming is over for a few weeks so I'm going to hold off on telling those people as long as possible since I won't see them for a while. My family will probably find out around week 10/11. DH's family and the rest of our friends will probably find out once I reach 2nd tri.

eta: Oh yeah, and I had to tell my boss when I was miscarrying because I missed two afternoons of work (emerg. U/S & tests, then to actually miscarry). This time around I hope to hold off as long as possible. He was very sympathetic and understanding but worried about me a lot and I don't want to put him through that again.

Ad.Interim · August 2010

My parents, brother, SIL and one friend know (and the friend guessed). I am not telling anyone else for as long as I can. At LEAST 12 weeks and maybe longer. But, then again, I don't like spreading pregnancy news. I always feel like a total dolt saying "guess what? I'm pregnant!". Maybe I'll just wait until my stomach makes it obvious. :-)

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