Resigning Immediately after Mat Leave tactfully..help!

sarelewis · August 2010

I've just found out that after three 3 days back post mat leave, I've been offered an AWESOME new job! I only interviewed for one over leave, so wasn't actively looking but had a fantastic opportunity fall into my lap and have to take it.

I have told the new company I'd start as late as two weeks or earlier if the old company wouldn't mind.

How do I tell old boss? I obviously feel a little guilty! I'm not an independent contractor, but basically have a job similar, so my client load ended around the time I left last may. I have a very small workload today, but it will grow rapidly in the next two weeks as my boss grows the business, to fulfill my position (I'm in internet marketing, online advertising, etc). I have a feeling he will tell me to leave and not finish out much time as I am truly not doing much work today. Problem is...LO is already in daycare. So, if I'm paying for care, I want a paycheck.

In my mind I was thinking of starting new job next Monday and telling old boss this Wednesday. Then if he makes me leave immediately I am only out two or three days pay...but this doesnt feel like nearly enough time to be courteous. How should I do this? I wont ever come back to work for him, and honestly he's been kind of a crappy boss, so I don't feel to owe him anything - but hate burning bridges. Advice!?

EastCoastBride · August 2010

The professional thing to do is give 2 weeks.

Stacyc625 · August 2010

regardless if he has been a crappy boss or not- that doesn't mean you should do a crappy thing- which in my opinion YOU ARE.

elizabe · August 2010

EastCoastBride:
The professional thing to do is give 2 weeks.

This. It's your responsibility to give 2 weeks, it's up to him whether to accept it or ask you to leave on the spot. Childcare costs suck, but they're a fact of life, and they're your problem not your boss.'

When you do resign, do all the other women in your company a favor & make it clear that you're resigning for the new and better job, not because you've decided to stay home with your new baby. It makes a company think twice about giving generous mat leaves if employees resign just a few weeks later. I'd even write it all out in a polite and regretful way in a letter...it's tough to remember everything you want to say on the spot.

tomkat35728 · August 2010

I always have given 2 weeks, no matter the circumstances. At one job, I gave over a month because I worked a lot of shifts by myself and knew that it could take up to a month to have a floating counselor come in to fill them.

Even though you think that you will never work for him again, you could still always use him as a professional reference. GL!

duchess0727 · August 2010

I'd tell old boss as soon as you have the offer in writing and offer two weeks. Like you said, he probably won't need it and will tell you to go whenever. If that's the case, then feel free to go. But I think the appropriate thing is to offer 2 weeks (or more depending on the job - I gave 4 weeks notice both times but it was necessary to wrap up my current workload) and give it if asked. Good luck and congrats on the new job!

KathrynMD · August 2010

I would give 2 weeks notice - its just good karma. I would also make it VERY clear that you are leaving for another opportunity not to SAH w/ your LO.

mysticporter · August 2010

I agree with turning in a professional resignation letter giving 2 weeks notice and your reason for leaving. If it gets back to your new employer that you gave insufficient notice, it's not going to get you off with them on the right foot as far as appearing to be a professional employee. It's also not just between you and your boss, but between you and your company as a whole, and even if your boss is bad you'd be screwing the company at large. If the company gave you anything beyond the minimum unpaid FMLA (or if they voluntarily provided leave when they aren't covered by FMLA), you actually do 'owe' them something they provided voluntarily. Beyond all that, it's the right thing to do.

xmasbabymama · August 2010

You should give 2 weeks. If he tells you to leave, call your new employer and tell them you are available early, they may have you start working now.

The_Jen626 · August 2010

KathrynMD:

I would give 2 weeks notice - its just good karma. I would also make it VERY clear that you are leaving for another opportunity not to SAH w/ your LO.

Ditto this!

Temp159135562506975 · August 2010

laura_belle:

Keep in mind that some companies have been burnt by women taking maternity leave benefits and then resigned immediately upon their return in order to stay at home. Many companies now have a policy that if you received benefits outside of FMLA and you resign with-in a certain period of time upon returning from Maternity Leave, you will be required to repay those benefits. It could range from Short Term Disability benefits, 401k matching, the portion of your medical/dental insurance premium the company paid, etc.

Beyond what is tactful you must also be prepared to address these issues.

i was going to say the same thing... you need to be prepared for that discussion.

2 weeks for sure. and i also agree- make sure he knows you have a new job.... not SAH.

Stacyc625 · August 2010

Really not quite sure why everyone is so hung up on the SAH vs taking a different job. Regardless if she is doing one over the other- the outcome is still the same (she is leaving her position right after ML) and should be treated the same way- IMHO. It doesn't make it any better in my mind that she is leaving her positon to take another job vs SAH

h2babe · August 2010

Goldie_Locks_5:
laura_belle:

Keep in mind that some companies have been burnt by women taking maternity leave benefits and then resigned immediately upon their return in order to stay at home. Many companies now have a policy that if you received benefits outside of FMLA and you resign with-in a certain period of time upon returning from Maternity Leave, you will be required to repay those benefits. It could range from Short Term Disability benefits, 401k matching, the portion of your medical/dental insurance premium the company paid, etc.

Beyond what is tactful you must also be prepared to address these issues.

i was going to say the same thing... you need to be prepared for that discussion.

2 weeks for sure. and i also agree- make sure he knows you have a new job.... not SAH.

This, and definitely the 2 weeks. Whether or not your boss is crappy to you, you don't have to bring yourself to his level.

kcisthebombdotcom · August 2010

A similar scenario happened to me. I got offered a PT job about 2 weeks into my maternity leave and had to resign.

I gave a 1 month's notice. I offered that I would work around my PT job/come in on weekends to help train my replacement. Although they did not take me up on the offer, I thought it was the right thing to do. I would definitely give 2 weeks at least.

CA2006 · August 2010

Stacyc625:

Really not quite sure why everyone is so hung up on the SAH vs taking a different job. Regardless if she is doing one over the other- the outcome is still the same (she is leaving her position right after ML) and should be treated the same way- IMHO. It doesn't make it any better in my mind that she is leaving her positon to take another job vs SAH

The woman was offered a wonderful new job opportunity. Yes, it is very different than taking maternity leave without plans to come back and resigning to SAH. She fully intended to go back to work. And is doing so. She can't help it if the opportunity arose while she was on leave. You can't control timing.

OP, give 2 weeks.

elizabe · August 2010

laura_belle:
Stacyc625:

Really not quite sure why everyone is so hung up on the SAH vs taking a different job. Regardless if she is doing one over the other- the outcome is still the same (she is leaving her position right after ML) and should be treated the same way- IMHO. It doesn't make it any better in my mind that she is leaving her positon to take another job vs SAH

Agreed. This will not make a difference to her boss or how company policy is handled. They extended benefits with good faith that she will return to her position.

This should be true, but it's not. Think of this from an employer's POV: every employee who comes back from mat leave has a cute, snuggly baby at home. Not every employee has a new job offer in her back pocket. While in theory it's none of her boss' business why she chooses to leave, and maybe it really doesn't make a difference at all in this particular situation, it could affect how that company negotiates maternity leave with employees in the future.

Most employers give paid maternity leave or leave past the FMLA 12 weeks as a benefit because they want to keep their employees. If the boss thinks that 12 weeks of paid mat leave = 2 weeks notice to SAH, then maybe the company will be less generous in the future. Again, it's a worst-case scenario, but it can and does happen.

CA2006 · August 2010

I will never understand why people berate fellow working mothers for furthering their career. This is not a situation where she is quitting to SAH and knew so before she took mat leave. She is pursuing her career goals. You can't control timing and, while the timing may not be ideal, she sounds very excited about her new job opportunity. Maybe we should support her and help give constructive advice on how to handle the situation she is in (as most people have).

jlw2505 · August 2010

If you don't offer to give 2 weeks, you are buring bridges that you might later cross again and its really not worth it. He may have been the worst boss to you ever but you might need him as a reference or you might cross paths with him professionally in the future. Your daycare might give you a break if you explain the situation and let you pay a holding fee while you are in between jobs or your new job might let you start ASAP. Your current boss might walk you out the door but he also has the option to keep you for the 2 weeks that it is professionally expected you would give as notice.

Stacyc625 · August 2010

CA2006:
Stacyc625:

Really not quite sure why everyone is so hung up on the SAH vs taking a different job. Regardless if she is doing one over the other- the outcome is still the same (she is leaving her position right after ML) and should be treated the same way- IMHO. It doesn't make it any better in my mind that she is leaving her positon to take another job vs SAH

The woman was offered a wonderful new job opportunity. Yes, it is very different than taking maternity leave without plans to come back and resigning to SAH. She fully intended to go back to work. And is doing so. She can't help it if the opportunity arose while she was on leave. You can't control timing.

OP, give 2 weeks.

Premeditating to SAH and Premeditating to interview for a different job while on leave is the SAME thing. You can control that timing. I am not saying that it is right or wrong- but interviewing for a different position- while on leave at a current place of employment is the SAME thing in my book. You are knowingly taking leave with the intention of not returning. Doesn't matter if it is staying home or taking a different position. Sorry but I just disagree.

CA2006 · August 2010

Stacyc625:
CA2006:
Stacyc625:

Really not quite sure why everyone is so hung up on the SAH vs taking a different job. Regardless if she is doing one over the other- the outcome is still the same (she is leaving her position right after ML) and should be treated the same way- IMHO. It doesn't make it any better in my mind that she is leaving her positon to take another job vs SAH

The woman was offered a wonderful new job opportunity. Yes, it is very different than taking maternity leave without plans to come back and resigning to SAH. She fully intended to go back to work. And is doing so. She can't help it if the opportunity arose while she was on leave. You can't control timing.

OP, give 2 weeks.

Premeditating to SAH and Premeditating to interview for a different job while on leave is the SAME thing. You can control that timing. I am not saying that it is right or wrong- but interviewing for a different position- while on leave at a current place of employment is the SAME thing in my book. You are knowingly taking leave with the intention of not returning. Doesn't matter if it is staying home or taking a different position. Sorry but I just disagree.

It sounds like she intended to return. And actually did. But somehow this opportunity came up while she was on leave. Can you honestly tell me that if you were on leave and a fantastic opportunity came your way, you wouldn't explore it JUST because you were on leave? You do realize that great opportunities don't come around all that often, right? If she had passed it up and didn't interview just b/c she was on leave, she wouldn't have the job offer now. People leave companies all the time for better opportunities. She intended to return. She did return. She got a better job offer.

Stacyc625 · August 2010

CA2006:
Stacyc625:
CA2006:
Stacyc625:

Really not quite sure why everyone is so hung up on the SAH vs taking a different job. Regardless if she is doing one over the other- the outcome is still the same (she is leaving her position right after ML) and should be treated the same way- IMHO. It doesn't make it any better in my mind that she is leaving her positon to take another job vs SAH

The woman was offered a wonderful new job opportunity. Yes, it is very different than taking maternity leave without plans to come back and resigning to SAH. She fully intended to go back to work. And is doing so. She can't help it if the opportunity arose while she was on leave. You can't control timing.

OP, give 2 weeks.

Premeditating to SAH and Premeditating to interview for a different job while on leave is the SAME thing. You can control that timing. I am not saying that it is right or wrong- but interviewing for a different position- while on leave at a current place of employment is the SAME thing in my book. You are knowingly taking leave with the intention of not returning. Doesn't matter if it is staying home or taking a different position. Sorry but I just disagree.

It sounds like she intended to return. And actually did. But somehow this opportunity came up while she was on leave. Can you honestly tell me that if you were on leave and a fantastic opportunity came your way, you wouldn't explore it JUST because you were on leave? You do realize that great opportunities don't come around all that often, right? If she had passed it up and didn't interview just b/c she was on leave, she wouldn't have the job offer now. People leave companies all the time for better opportunities. She intended to return. She did return. She got a better job offer.

Never once did I say that. I said I don't see how it is any different than premeditating SAH (she knowingly interviewed for another job while on leave) and it should be treated the same way- Return and do the professionally ethical thing and give at least 2 weeks notice.

CA2006 · August 2010

Stacyc625:
regardless if he has been a crappy boss or not- that doesn't mean you should do a crappy thing- which in my opinion YOU ARE.

I was referring to this. Kind of harsh, no?

Stacyc625 · August 2010

CA2006:

Stacyc625:
regardless if he has been a crappy boss or not- that doesn't mean you should do a crappy thing- which in my opinion YOU ARE.

I was referring to this. Kind of harsh, no?

If you think that is harsh--- I am glad i held my tongue. Saying that her boss is crappy and she is going to be crappy too- is a major in my book. Not giving a proper notice And to mention about daycare and not wanting to pay for it in case her boss excuses her early. again None of that is 'tactful'

So umm yes- personally I think she is doing a crappy thing. As does everyone else apparently. 2 weeks notice and move on.

barkers4jmm · August 2010

You should give your boss the appropriate two weeks. You can then tell your new company when you'll start based on conversation with your old boss. I don't see a problem with leaving for a better opportunity (it's business) as long as you handle it graciously.

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