Strange impulses

Ioulia · August 2010

Since losing Nikolai, I've periodically had these strange impulses like replacing a piece of perfectly good furniture just because I want a change (that one's a little too expensive to do frequently Stick out tongue ) or this week I've been wanting to chop off almost all of my hair, which I've always kept long into a bob. It's like I want to take control of stupid little things because I haven't been able to control the big ones.

Have any of you experienced something similar?

jerriesgirl · August 2010

Yeah, I understand where you are coming from. The facilitator in my support group said that you shouldn't make any drastic changes such as changing jobs, making large purchases, etc. until after 6 months post loss to make sure it isn't an impulse. I was planning on cutting my hair off in June, but decided not to based on that. I still want to cut my hair though and plan on doing it either this or next month.

emeraudecephiro · August 2010

I know EXACTLY what you mean. I hate change, I loathe it...but after my loss, I cut off all my hair, colored it PURPLE (my favorite color...it's back to brown now), dragged my husband to a new city (well, we wanted to move anyway, but I VERY encouraged it) even though we couldn't have my beloved cat, Neko... (still regret this decision), got a tattoo and a lip piercing....God I'm impulsive. Though the tattoo was out of remembrance for LO. It was thought out well before hand, but the balls to do it was impulsive adrenaline.

If you need advice or to talk about it, I am more than happy to, goes for any of you ladies

britt_dickey · August 2010

I broke the 6 month rule and quit my job! I have rearranged ALL my furniture and taken up several new hobbies (baking, sewing, cooking). I have no desire to even be in the same field I was in before (HR) and have no idea what I want to do in life. So, yes, I understand those impulses! I also got a "memorial" tattoo.

itsmevkb · August 2010

We got a puppy two days after our son died. Yea, that was a big mistake.

I am like you in that I feel as though I'm trying to take control of the few things that I know I can still control. I bought all new bedding for our bed, I went out and bought a new vacuum and I HATE to vacuum, I want a new dining room table and a new recliner.............I could go on forever.

I watch those shows like Obsessed where the people have OCD and it's amazing how each of them had a trigger event, like their mom dying, or being in an accident, etc. which sort of brought out their OCD or made it much worse than it had ever been. So, I think that is the same thing, it's people dealing with their anxiety by trying to control what they can control. I'm just glad my reaction is to buy a vacuum instead of turning on and off a light switch 100 times. Then again, perhaps I am on the road to hoarding.............

DowagerCountessofNJ · August 2010

It wasn't really impulsive but it was the finally push we needed to put the new floors and toilets in both bathrooms, I even repainted the upstairs bathroom halfway through the floor remodeling. We painted a bedroom, got new curtains and bedding. This was all stuff we were planning but I just absolutely needed it done. It feels good too.

ravenorchid · August 2010

Yes, I know what you mean. We were actually moving just a few days after we lost our baby. It was bad timing since physically and emotionally I wasn't up to it, but it was also kind of good since I really wanted a change. It made me feel good to have a fully new location, one not associated with my pregnancy and to give away a bunch of old clothes and furniture. You might want to hold off on anything drastic, but I totally understand your feeling.

Ioulia · August 2010

Another day and my long hair is still long. Of course, it helped that I was too busy at work to make the appointment. Thanks, ladies, it helps to know that I'm not alone in this.

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