Kind of upset and need to vent...(long and rambly, sorry)

lissah23 · July 2010

Back story: My BFF just got hired as a police officer and has been at police college in training for the last 3 months. We haven't seen each other since she left because she says she's been too busy. Totally understandable - I remember how much work DH had when he was in training. The 2 of us have kept in touch via email and over the phone for the past few months and everything seemed cool.

Today we went to a BBQ at a mutual friend's and I overheard how her and another GF went to the spa one weekend, and another GF and her went shopping or they'd meet for coffee and do this and that on her weekends home from the college.

It really put me off because any time I'd suggest we get together she'd tell me she was too busy with homework and whatever.

Also, her graduation from the college was this week and I had asked if she'd be okay with me coming (I was really looking forward to seeing her graduate because so many people have told her she couldn't do it and she was really proud of herself). She never responded.

I also found out today that these 2 other girls and their husbands went to the graduation.

I'm feeling kind of hurt - we've been best friends for like 7 years...these 2 other girls are just new friends and she's in no way as close to them as her and I are close (or at least as close as I thought we were).

I think it has to do with the fact that I have Kieran now and she's in a different place in life - but I wish she'd just tell me that and not just blow me off like I don't matter now, you know?

/vent

Liss_37 · July 2010

That's really douchy, sorry chicky I had a few friends blow me off too once I had Silas. it really sucks and it's completely unnecessary. Just cause you have a kid doesn't mean you have to be chained to your house 24/7

maybe you should call her and tell her how you feel

LindsE143 · July 2010

I think you should definitely say something! I'm sorry that you're going through this...I feel very blessed that so many of my friends have welcomed my daughter, but it still hurts my feelings sometimes if I just don't get invited to something because they think I won't come. Sometimes when people are in a different place in life it kind of weirds them out to be around a friend with kids. Hope it works out!

jennylynne_01 · July 2010

It definitely sounds to me like she's avoiding you because you're a new mommy now and she's in a different station in life. I went through a similar situation when I got pregnant and didn't want to do the things some of my single friends did anymore. Having a child can really show who your true friends are. Don't sweat it because if she were a real friend she would have been there for you every step of the way and be enjoying your precious baby right along with you! Take it for what it is and walk away, then someday when she's in your shoes she'll understand what a big sh*tbag she was.

MrsRebecca · July 2010

I'd be hurt, too. Sometimes friendships don't survive life's changes and that's hard. She needs to just be honest with you and let you know what is going on.

I'm really sorry your good friend is being so hurtful =(

orchidwedding · August 2010

As an older mommy, whose long term friends were/are still mostly single, I went through this to a greater degree than most - they are still doing the single girl thing and I am newly married with baby. I am trying to make new friends with moms at work and moms at daycare. Obviously, it is harder to make new friends now having less time to devote to bonding except with my husband and baby. I believe it changes when the babies get older and you once again have time for other things than sleep, eat, and poop.

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Kind of upset and need to vent...(long and rambly, sorry)

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