I am so upset that my hubby has to go back to work on Monday after being off with me for 4 weeks since we lost our daughter on 4th of July.
I had to have an emergency c-section so basically after that, being in the hopsital for a week, taking her off of the ventilator, saying goodbye to her and just being overwhelmed with grief...I have been non functional this whole month. Also to top things of they had to re-open my c section wound because it wasnt healing!!! He had to pack it with gauze twice a day for about 2 weeks!!
He has been my rock, he makes sure I eat a balanced meal, take my meds, holds me when I am inconsolable...and is my all around cheerleader, all this while he is still grieving the loss of our daughter!!
I am scared to be without him, and I have great friends and family but I only want him ...I have been quite shut off from the rest of the world because I feel so depressed...I cry every night about losing Kendall and now I feel like I am losing him. I have been off of work on FMLA since a week before she was born and I dont go back til late September .....Im scared ladies.....I am in so much grief I feel sick to my stomach
Re: so sad...
We love and miss you Jillian (18w) and Peanut (6w). Welcome to our TAC miracle Jacob!
Jenn
3 IUI's all BFN
IVF#1 BFN IVF#2 BFP, loss at 19 weeks FET#1 BFN IVF#3 BFP, m/c FET#2 BFN
Missing our twins Zachary and Madison, lost at 19 weeks on 11/13/09, edd 4/9/10
BFP 7/17/10, m/c 7/25/10, edd 3/25/11
Ectopic, lost left tube 4/20/11, edd 12/6/11
my blog
I am so sorry for your loss. My husband only took one week off work, and i paniced being home without him. He works nights, and I was terrified of not having him there, especially at night. The first 2 weeks were the roughest and saddest, and then I reached my breaking point, I felt myself going into a depression. I had never experienced grief like this. Since i have a DS and DD who are 9 and 11, I HAD to pull it together for them. I felt like such a terrible mother for just lying in bed all the time. I wanted to heal, somehow. I reached out and tried to find early infant loss support groups in my area, You can google them too. I went to a MISS foundation one, and the support there was phenomenal. I have never seen a therapist of joined a support group, and these people were very familiar with what I went thru. From there I found another support group with a therpist who runs it. I want to find peace somewhere amongst the saddness and loss, I crave it. I want to find a way to sleep and not have those dark moments. The support groups are just a suggestion, but they really are helping me. Please feel free to PM me also if you need an extra ear.
Thoughts and prayers