Not sure if we should call CPS ... wwyd?

picopurl · July 2010

Yesterday DH came home infuriated. He is a real estate agent and had just shown an apartment to a couple looking for an investment property. Well according to DH the condition of the apartment was appalling. He could not believe the filth that the tenants lived in ... clothes, trash, dirty plates everywhere... none of the beds had sheets. He said it looked like a "crack den". There were swastikas in the bedrooms. The people had this huge dog in the house (probably mastiff mix) that kept barking and trying to lunge at DH and his clients (the tenants were there during the showing). The backyard was covered in dog feces ... the tenants had attempted to "clean it up" by piling it up in a huge pile in a corner. And in the middle of this mess was a three year old little girl. From the looks of things DH didn't see a room for her, or a clean playing area or clean anything for that matter. It really hit home for him now being a father to his own DD. He was blown away and really p*ssed off that they had this little girl and were raising her in this type of environment. DH isn't usually someone that makes waves, but he just called me asking me to post this on the board to see what you ladies think. Would you call CPS? TIA

mistywhite400 · July 2010

yes. He might be the only person who willing advocate for her. If I felt a child was truly being neglected, than yes I would!

cchill01 · July 2010

Yep, I would.

Jen1231 · July 2010

Would this type of thing be out of the norm if he called? Is this the first time that this have ever happened?

I don't know if it would be my place or not in that situation to call. I guess since you don't technically know them. I guess it wouldn't hurt to put in a call to CPS and see what they say.

ssmith325 · July 2010

Yes!!!! An investigation certainly wouldn't hurt.....and if she's not getting her needs met, then they can intervene.

mayowife · July 2010

If he thinks the child is unsafe then he should call. I've never dealt with CPS personally, but I'd say go with your gut and let them take it from there.

Stephanie586 · July 2010

Yes, I would.

4maddison · July 2010

mistywhite400:
yes. He might be the only person who willing advocate for her. If I felt a child was truly being neglected, than yes I would!

this!

lissah23 · July 2010

Jen1231:

Would this type of thing be out of the norm if he called? Is this the first time that this have ever happened?

I don't know if it would be my place or not in that situation to call. I guess since you don't technically know them. I guess it wouldn't hurt to put in a call to CPS and see what they say.

If it's not your place to advocate for a helpless child, who's place would it be?

Lindsey7521 · July 2010

I

happilyhis · July 2010

absolutely

lindylogana · July 2010

I would

Lindsey7521 · July 2010

If it were me, I would call. Especially now that I have a little girl...I can't imagine seeing a 3yr old with out place to sleep or play.

amt1586 · July 2010

I would, no child should live like that. And, what if that dog attacked her? A child should be giving a clean living environment, and from what you described, that is not healthy.

picopurl · July 2010

Jen1231:

Would this type of thing be out of the norm if he called? Is this the first time that this have ever happened?

I don't know if it would be my place or not in that situation to call. I guess since you don't technically know them. I guess it wouldn't hurt to put in a call to CPS and see what they say.

This is kinda what I was thinking... but then again wouldn't it be up to CPS to decide what action is needed.

picopurl · July 2010

lissah23:
Jen1231:

Would this type of thing be out of the norm if he called? Is this the first time that this have ever happened?

I don't know if it would be my place or not in that situation to call. I guess since you don't technically know them. I guess it wouldn't hurt to put in a call to CPS and see what they say.

If it's not your place to advocate for a helpless child, who's place would it be?

Good point!

blueyez09 · July 2010

of course...

picopurl · July 2010

Just called DH and gave him all of your feedback. He will be making the call shortly. I'll let you all know if they had anything interesting to say.

Thank you all, again.

BabyS. · July 2010

YES, without question yes.

MarthaP18 · July 2010

I'd call. I'm actually going to place a call of my own, I think (not about this case, but about someone else).

katiemac12345 · July 2010

Yes, please! Your husband may be the only person who has seen the place and realizes the problem (or cares).
I have placed a call before on a "stranger" and in our state, the CPS told me that they create a file but do not take action on this type of call unless there are 2-3 calls of this type (I can't remember the exact #). However, your husband could be making the first call and then maybe someone else will call and action will be taken. Or, there could be a call on the record already and they are just waiting for another person to report so that they can act.

Jen1231 · July 2010

picopurl:
lissah23:
Jen1231:

Would this type of thing be out of the norm if he called? Is this the first time that this have ever happened?

I don't know if it would be my place or not in that situation to call. I guess since you don't technically know them. I guess it wouldn't hurt to put in a call to CPS and see what they say.

If it's not your place to advocate for a helpless child, who's place would it be?

Good point!

I don't think I explained that right. I am just saying since he personally doesn't know them there may or may not be more to the story (other than what he could see.) I don't know. Like I said, it wouldn't hurt to call and see what they say. I don't want to give the wrong impression. I am 100% for protecting a child in this situation.

Jen1231 · July 2010

katiemac12345:

Yes, please! Your husband may be the only person who has seen the place and realizes the problem (or cares).
I have placed a call before on a "stranger" and in our state, the CPS told me that they create a file but do not take action on this type of call unless there are 2-3 calls of this type (I can't remember the exact #). However, your husband could be making the first call and then maybe someone else will call and action will be taken. Or, there could be a call on the record already and they are just waiting for another person to report so that they can act.

That is a good point!

lys84 · July 2010

definitly call. leave it to cps to decide if they will take the case. at least you will know that you called.

jennybeams · July 2010

picopurl:

Yesterday DH came home infuriated. He is a real estate agent and had just shown an apartment to a couple looking for an investment property. Well according to DH the condition of the apartment was appalling. He could not believe the filth that the tenants lived in ..1.. clothes, trash, dirty plates everywhere... none of the beds had sheets. He said it looked like a "crack den". There were 2. swastikas in the bedrooms. The people had this 3. huge dog in the house (probably mastiff mix) that kept barking and trying to lunge at DH and his clients (the tenants were there during the showing). The 4. backyard was covered in dog feces ... the tenants had 5. attempted to "clean it up" by piling it up in a huge pile in a corner. And in the middle of this mess was a three year old little girl. From the looks of things DH didn't see a room for her, or a clean playing area or clean anything for that matter. It really hit home for him now being a father to his own DD. He was blown away and really p*ssed off that they had this little girl and were raising her in this type of environment. DH isn't usually someone that makes waves, but he just called me asking me to post this on the board to see what you ladies think. Would you call CPS? TIA

This will be my Unpopular Opinion for today:

I think he's being very critical over other people's "lifestyle" when it may or may not be the norm. Especially if they have a young child. We should know first hand that things are not always Martha Stewart around the house 100% of the time. Honestly, I think your DH was probably more PO'd that he had to show a house that was totally not worth the time and money to rent.

1. Can't say I haven't had a lazy period where I've done one or more of these at any given time.

2. Not cool, but not hurting anyone.

3. It wasn't attacking the baby, maybe it was being protective of her

4. Ok they didn't pooper scoop for a while, not that big a deal, the kid wasn't rolling in it were they?

5. Yeah, I do this everytime my IL's come over unexpected.

Unless there are drugs or voilence involved, I would mind my own business.

picopurl · July 2010

jennybeams:
picopurl:

Yesterday DH came home infuriated. He is a real estate agent and had just shown an apartment to a couple looking for an investment property. Well according to DH the condition of the apartment was appalling. He could not believe the filth that the tenants lived in ..1.. clothes, trash, dirty plates everywhere... none of the beds had sheets. He said it looked like a "crack den". There were 2. swastikas in the bedrooms. The people had this 3. huge dog in the house (probably mastiff mix) that kept barking and trying to lunge at DH and his clients (the tenants were there during the showing). The 4. backyard was covered in dog feces ... the tenants had 5. attempted to "clean it up" by piling it up in a huge pile in a corner. And in the middle of this mess was a three year old little girl. From the looks of things DH didn't see a room for her, or a clean playing area or clean anything for that matter. It really hit home for him now being a father to his own DD. He was blown away and really p*ssed off that they had this little girl and were raising her in this type of environment. DH isn't usually someone that makes waves, but he just called me asking me to post this on the board to see what you ladies think. Would you call CPS? TIA

This will be my Unpopular Opinion for today:

I think he's being very critical over other people's "lifestyle" when it may or may not be the norm. Especially if they have a young child. We should know first hand that things are not always Martha Stewart around the house 100% of the time. Honestly, I think your DH was probably more PO'd that he had to show a house that was totally not worth the time and money to rent.

1. Can't say I haven't had a lazy period where I've done one or more of these at any given time.

2. Not cool, but not hurting anyone.

3. It wasn't attacking the baby, maybe it was being protective of her

4. Ok they didn't pooper scoop for a while, not that big a deal, the kid wasn't rolling in it were they?

5. Yeah, I do this everytime my IL's come over unexpected.

Unless there are drugs or voilence involved, I would mind my own business.

Wow! Way to make assumptions about my DH character "I think your DH was probably more PO'd that he had to show a house that was totally not worth the time and money to rent." It really didn't matter to mention this in the post but the tenants are being kicked out in 2 weeks and actually DH clients placed an offer on the place. He is a good person with a big heart who is genuinely concerned about this little girls welfare. So BACK OFF on talking sh*t about my husband.

mysonya · July 2010

I would call.

jennybeams · July 2010

picopurl:
jennybeams:
picopurl:

Yesterday DH came home infuriated. He is a real estate agent and had just shown an apartment to a couple looking for an investment property. Well according to DH the condition of the apartment was appalling. He could not believe the filth that the tenants lived in ..1.. clothes, trash, dirty plates everywhere... none of the beds had sheets. He said it looked like a "crack den". There were 2. swastikas in the bedrooms. The people had this 3. huge dog in the house (probably mastiff mix) that kept barking and trying to lunge at DH and his clients (the tenants were there during the showing). The 4. backyard was covered in dog feces ... the tenants had 5. attempted to "clean it up" by piling it up in a huge pile in a corner. And in the middle of this mess was a three year old little girl. From the looks of things DH didn't see a room for her, or a clean playing area or clean anything for that matter. It really hit home for him now being a father to his own DD. He was blown away and really p*ssed off that they had this little girl and were raising her in this type of environment. DH isn't usually someone that makes waves, but he just called me asking me to post this on the board to see what you ladies think. Would you call CPS? TIA

This will be my Unpopular Opinion for today:

I think he's being very critical over other people's "lifestyle" when it may or may not be the norm. Especially if they have a young child. We should know first hand that things are not always Martha Stewart around the house 100% of the time. Honestly, I think your DH was probably more PO'd that he had to show a house that was totally not worth the time and money to rent.

1. Can't say I haven't had a lazy period where I've done one or more of these at any given time.

2. Not cool, but not hurting anyone.

3. It wasn't attacking the baby, maybe it was being protective of her

4. Ok they didn't pooper scoop for a while, not that big a deal, the kid wasn't rolling in it were they?

5. Yeah, I do this everytime my IL's come over unexpected.

Unless there are drugs or voilence involved, I would mind my own business.

Wow! Way to make assumptions about my DH character "I think your DH was probably more PO'd that he had to show a house that was totally not worth the time and money to rent." It really didn't matter to mention this in the post but the tenants are being kicked out in 2 weeks and actually DH clients placed an offer on the place. He is a good person with a big heart who is genuinely concerned about this little girls welfare. So BACK OFF on talking sh*t about my husband.

HA! Way to miss the point!

picopurl · July 2010

Your point being that we should turn the other way? Go about our own
"Martha Stewart" lives and not feel concern about this childs situation? I got your point but just ignored it. You're contradicting yourself.

ninasc · July 2010

I would definitely call.

jennybeams · July 2010

picopurl:

Your point being that we should turn the other way? Go about our own
"Martha Stewart" lives and not feel concern about this childs situation? I got your point but just ignored it. You're contradicting yourself.

Hardly!

zeptattoo · July 2010

Yes and he should probably contact local housig authority. They are probably violating local housing codes. Our agent did this when one of the houses we looked at was obviously being rented to more people than what it was zoned for.

ambizze · July 2010

1000x's YES!! That little baby girl doesnt have a voice loud enought to ask for help. Your DH is awesome for being an advocate for that little one. She can come stay with me

Nikibug · July 2010

HELL YES!!!!

stephanielynn33 · July 2010

YES.

meghann0409 · July 2010

Jen1231:

Would this type of thing be out of the norm if he called? Is this the first time that this have ever happened?

I don't know if it would be my place or not in that situation to call. I guess since you don't technically know them. I guess it wouldn't hurt to put in a call to CPS and see what they say.

This is the kind of attitude that leads you to feel horrible when you read the newspaper 2 weeks later, knowing that you could have done something and did NOTHING. Sorry to target you Jen, but your comment of "if it would be your place" pisses me off.

If it makes you raise your eyebrows - call CPS and let THEM decide what is really going on. It is not a crime to be poor - but this seems like more than that. NEVER second guess yourself when it comes to things like this - you never know what else is going on!

I would welcome CPS in to my home if someone ever questioned me or my parenting, as it least it means someone took the time to care...

meghann0409 · July 2010

Jen1231:
picopurl:
lissah23:
Jen1231:

Would this type of thing be out of the norm if he called? Is this the first time that this have ever happened?

I don't know if it would be my place or not in that situation to call. I guess since you don't technically know them. I guess it wouldn't hurt to put in a call to CPS and see what they say.

If it's not your place to advocate for a helpless child, who's place would it be?

Good point!

I don't think I explained that right. I am just saying since he personally doesn't know them there may or may not be more to the story (other than what he could see.) I don't know. Like I said, it wouldn't hurt to call and see what they say. I don't want to give the wrong impression. I am 100% for protecting a child in this situation.

WHAT could possibly be "more to the story" that would excuse neglect?!

MrsRebecca · July 2010

If it was truly filthy, then yes.

I called CPS on our upstairs neighbors a few years ago. We woke up in the night to hear the mom screaming, "get away! leave me alone!" and the sounds of footsteps thudding across the room as if he was being chased. DH got concerned that it was an intruder so he went up and knocked on the door. The husband answered with blood shot eyes and acted like nothing was wrong.

A few nights later their 2 year old daughter screamed and cried hysterically for hours. DH went up again to see if they needed help- perhaps he could run to the drugstore for them? And again the dad answered with blood shot eyes, this time reeking of alcohol.

Sure, we don't know how they lived their lives on a normal basis. But I got an uneasy feeling just from seeing them walking to and from their apartment- the kid was always dirty. Could I have been butting my nose in where I shouldn't have and making assumptions? Absolutely, even given everything I just described.

I posted on the parenting board and everyone told me to mind my business. They said my DH never should have gone up there and that if someone tried to tell them how to parent or behave, they'd be pissed.

I ignored their advice and called. Someone came out within 24 hours and then another person came a few days after that. Then the police arrived and the little girl got taken from the home and the dad was cuffed and put in the police car and taken away. The mom moved out in the middle of the night.

If you really feel as though a child is being abused or neglected, call. CPS will decide. If your gut is telling you something isn't right, listen to it.

meghann0409 · July 2010

jennybeams:
picopurl:

Yesterday DH came home infuriated. He is a real estate agent and had just shown an apartment to a couple looking for an investment property. Well according to DH the condition of the apartment was appalling. He could not believe the filth that the tenants lived in ..1.. clothes, trash, dirty plates everywhere... none of the beds had sheets. He said it looked like a "crack den". There were 2. swastikas in the bedrooms. The people had this 3. huge dog in the house (probably mastiff mix) that kept barking and trying to lunge at DH and his clients (the tenants were there during the showing). The 4. backyard was covered in dog feces ... the tenants had 5. attempted to "clean it up" by piling it up in a huge pile in a corner. And in the middle of this mess was a three year old little girl. From the looks of things DH didn't see a room for her, or a clean playing area or clean anything for that matter. It really hit home for him now being a father to his own DD. He was blown away and really p*ssed off that they had this little girl and were raising her in this type of environment. DH isn't usually someone that makes waves, but he just called me asking me to post this on the board to see what you ladies think. Would you call CPS? TIA

This will be my Unpopular Opinion for today:

I think he's being very critical over other people's "lifestyle" when it may or may not be the norm. Especially if they have a young child. We should know first hand that things are not always Martha Stewart around the house 100% of the time. Honestly, I think your DH was probably more PO'd that he had to show a house that was totally not worth the time and money to rent.

1. Can't say I haven't had a lazy period where I've done one or more of these at any given time.

2. Not cool, but not hurting anyone.

3. It wasn't attacking the baby, maybe it was being protective of her

4. Ok they didn't pooper scoop for a while, not that big a deal, the kid wasn't rolling in it were they?

5. Yeah, I do this everytime my IL's come over unexpected.

Unless there are drugs or voilence involved, I would mind my own business.

YOU ARE REDICULOUS. IT IS NEVER WRONG TO FIGHT FOR THE WELFARE OF A CHILD!! And to accuse the DH of wanting to call because he was embarrassed to show the place? What are you, 12?!

meghann0409 · July 2010

MrsRebecca:

If it was truly filthy, then yes.

I called CPS on our upstairs neighbors a few years ago. We woke up in the night to hear the mom screaming, "get away! leave me alone!" and the sounds of footsteps thudding across the room as if he was being chased. DH got concerned that it was an intruder so he went up and knocked on the door. The husband answered with blood shot eyes and acted like nothing was wrong.

A few nights later their 2 year old daughter screamed and cried hysterically for hours. DH went up again to see if they needed help- perhaps he could run to the drugstore for them? And again the dad answered with blood shot eyes, this time reeking of alcohol.

Sure, we don't know how they lived their lives on a normal basis. But I got an uneasy feeling just from seeing them walking to and from their apartment- the kid was always dirty. Could I have been butting my nose in where I shouldn't have and making assumptions? Absolutely, even given everything I just described.

I posted on the parenting board and everyone told me to mind my business. They said my DH never should have gone up there and that if someone tried to tell them how to parent or behave, they'd be pissed.

I ignored their advice and called. Someone came out within 24 hours and then another person came a few days after that. Then the police arrived and the little girl got taken from the home and the dad was cuffed and put in the police car and taken away. The mom moved out in the middle of the night.

If you really feel as though a child is being abused or neglected, call. CPS will decide. If your gut is telling you something isn't right, listen to it.

GOOD FOR YOU!! YOU are the kind of person we need more of in this world. This attitude of "mind your own business" KILLS CHILDREN.

Did you read about the 6w old baby left in a hot car while the parents shopped at CVS? WHAT IF THAT GOOD SAMARITAN HADN'T CALLED because it was one of you beetches who was "minding your own business?" You disgust me.

Jen1231 · July 2010

meghann0409:
Jen1231:

Would this type of thing be out of the norm if he called? Is this the first time that this have ever happened?

I don't know if it would be my place or not in that situation to call. I guess since you don't technically know them. I guess it wouldn't hurt to put in a call to CPS and see what they say.

This is the kind of attitude that leads you to feel horrible when you read the newspaper 2 weeks later, knowing that you could have done something and did NOTHING. Sorry to target you Jen, but your comment of "if it would be your place" pisses me off.

If it makes you raise your eyebrows - call CPS and let THEM decide what is really going on. It is not a crime to be poor - but this seems like more than that. NEVER second guess yourself when it comes to things like this - you never know what else is going on!

I would welcome CPS in to my home if someone ever questioned me or my parenting, as it least it means someone took the time to care...

That is fine, I don't mind you targeting me. I did say that it wouldn't hurt to call CPS and see what they say. I mean what if that child doesn't even live there? I wasn't trying to ruffle feathers just typing out what I thought.

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Not sure if we should call CPS ... wwyd?

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