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Parenting
I think we coddle Ian too much.
So, Ian still craps his pants, he has no desire to dress himself, Doesnt write any letters, he still ends up in our bed most nights (ok, probably ALL nights), whines a whole bunch, and eats far too many cookies. (yeah, so the latter could easily be remedied with a simple no, duh)
I mean, should he be doing more things on his own? DD was a much more independant kid and was rather early in most developmental stages.
Is this because we coddle him and dont expect more of him, or is all of this normal for his age, or have I been Nest-icized and am worried for no reason?
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Re: I think we coddle Ian too much.
I don't know, but I coddle Jackson like it's my job, if it makes you feel better. I'm totally worried that preschool is going to be a big, FAT fail in a few weeks.
He does crap on the potty and wipe his own ass, now, but it took quite awhile. Well the wiping his own ass thing.
I also don't have a problem with Jackson in our bed, and it happens frequently. I guess I figure if it's working for us, who cares? It can't be f*cking him up that much.
He is 3.5
FWIW, Jackson's bathroom & butt wiping got significantly better about 2 months ago, and he is now 3 years, 10m old.
At 3.5, he would poop on the potty but would cry and carry on about wiping. It was outrageous. I tried several things to get him to do it on his own, but finally just helped if he asked and he just decided to do it on his own one day.
I know you are dealing with actually pooping on the potty, but it wouldn't concern me too much. I'm not sure I would want to force the issue since so many kids then try to hold it and stuff...
My boys will be 4 in September. They can't draw or write a single thing (besides the letter H, which is totally random). They don't wipe their own butts because I don't think they would get it all, and they regularly pee in their pants bc they are too busy to go to the toilet.
I feel your pain
ETA: Don't even get me started on the whining.....
I don't think you're coddling him--at 3.5, I wouldn't expect my kid to do all those things, honestly. If you want him to start being more independent, you can always make a game out of things like getting dressed & help him with it, but slowly extricate yourself from the process as he gets better at it.
Pretty much everything you've described is stuff that Ethan, around 4y/o, decided he wanted to do for himself. He never dressed himself a day in his life and then one day, he would have nothing to do w/ me getting him dressed.
IDK, I don't really worry about "coddling" my kid. I think our culture is absolutely obsessed w/ toddlers and preschoolers being independent way earlier than they "need" to be.
I coddle the hell out of DS and there ain't no shame in my game. Yesterday he threw a screaming tantrum because he didn't get "cuddle time" with me before bed. I am pretty sure I will one day be a daughter-in-law's nightmare.
or your DIL will be thanking you for raising a son who isn't afraid to express emotion. :-)
*snort*
We were at a wedding about a month ago and Jackson told everyone he wanted to marry me and live with me forever. I think I'm going to have to pay my future DIL off with designer handbags to get her to like me.
Dont get me wrong, short of the potty thing, I am totally ok with what we are doing, but I just worry that we arent enabling him to be more independent.
I guess I feared that we are hindering him in some way. But now that I read your posts, I dont feel that way as much.
I plan on being a real boozy MIL - if DS is any son of mine, the woman he brings home will appreciate that. That is my plan for winning over my future DIL.
YES. I am all about being boozy. Jackson is already on board, obviously (see siggy, ha!).
I'll always have good booze to win over the younger generation...
Mel - so one of my friend's families is supah Catholic, meaning they love to drink and gamble.
ANYWAY, friend's oldest brother is marrying a Southern Baptist who is very anti-drinking and gambling. In fact, she doesn't even dance. There will be no dancing at the wedding, and of course, no booze, either.
Her email about it was hilarious. I think her mom is about ready to have a heart attack over it. I can't imagine - I think it'd be my worst nightmare. :P
Something tells me that your friends brother is HELLA pissed at his mom for something she has done in his life, and this is his payback.
LOL, that would be some payback. And it could be - I know the family pretty well; we all grew up together. But the brother used to love to drink and stuff, too, and the whole extended family is like that too, not just the immediate family.
I'm hoping for wedding stories, because I'm sure they are going to be a trip. Her whole family just loves a party, but that won't be their idea of one, haha.
Giblets thinks the toilet thing is the least of the problems. Too many cookies (because you teach him that if he wants it, he gets it) is going to be a big problem in 1.4 years, and the ending up in your bed thing unless it's for the last 10 minutes before your alarm goes off in the morning only seems like it's going to be a hard habit to break the older he gets.
DS turned 3 in April, and he has been wanting to do things himself for a long time. He is very independent. But we still wipe his butt because I am a control freak, and I am afraid he won't get it clean. However, we are going to be working on this because he starts preschool at the end of August.
He has only recently been able to full undress and dress himself. If he is in a mood, if you even try to help him, he screams.
He goes through phases where he wants to sleep in our bed a lot.
Being so independent means a lot of spills, etc. and a lot of fights. There is a downside. : )