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How Can I Help?

Christ-AnnaChrist-Anna
in Adoption
A very good friend of mine and her husband have been trying to conceive for years and have had no luck.  So they have just told me that they are going to adopt.  They are on the opposite side of the country from me but are there any suggestions for me on how I can help other than just be supportive?
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Re: How Can I Help?

  • JulieFJulieF
    You could definitely be a good listener as they go through the process.  Right now, I have a close friend in Illinois (I'm in Ohio), and she is always available for me to talk or type about the newest thing I found out about the adoption process or the cute waiting child that I saw on the photolisting.
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  • kmkaull2kmkaull2 member
    When we were in the process, I so appreciated when people asked about our progress.  So just be interested and excited for your friends.  Treat them like expectant parents.  It just means a lot when other people show they care.
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  • Dr.LorettaDr.Loretta member

    I would just be supportive.

    And not come out and ask about timelines every time you talk to them. A friend of mine who adopted got, "Any news yet?" daily from some people, and it drove her nuts. Just ask how things are going and let them lead the conversation.

    GL to them.

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  • Art TeacherArt Teacher

    imagekmkaull2:
    When we were in the process, I so appreciated when people asked about our progress.  So just be interested and excited for your friends.  Treat them like expectant parents.  It just means a lot when other people show they care.

    I agree with kmkaull -- treat them like expectant parents.  Be there for them and ask questions.  Be interested in what they are going through and be supportive. 

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  • meganroseleemeganroselee member

    imagekmkaull2:
    When we were in the process, I so appreciated when people asked about our progress.  So just be interested and excited for your friends.  Treat them like expectant parents.  It just means a lot when other people show they care.

     

    I agree with this.  We told our friends we were adopting about a month ago and no one, including my sister, has asked about our status.  We just had our first home visit so we're just starting the process, but I feel a little sad that my friends can't share my excitement the way they probably would have, had I been pregnant...

    33 yo, DH with MFI Iui x4, Dec 2009 to Jan2011 all BFN.... IVF May 2011 BFP, mc June 2011 at 6.5 weeks, FET Oct 2011 BFP! Sweet baby girl born 25 June 2012** started adoption process Feb 2010, approved Oct 2010, failed match in delivery rooms Feb & Aug 2011... Birthmom called back 3d after we returned home. Aug 26 2011, our sweet baby boy comes home for good!!
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  • RJMbimRJMbim
    imageDr.Loretta:

    I would just be supportive.

    And not come out and ask about timelines every time you talk to them. A friend of mine who adopted got, "Any news yet?" daily from some people, and it drove her nuts. Just ask how things are going and let them lead the conversation.

    GL to them.

    This drove me nucking futs! Be supportive but not a pest be mindful that whiel you want to be excited and happy for them and there is a possibility *knock on wood* that it may very well fall through.

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