How Can I Help?

Christ-Anna

A very good friend of mine and her husband have been trying to conceive for years and have had no luck.  So they have just told me that they are going to adopt.  They are on the opposite side of the country from me but are there any suggestions for me on how I can help other than just be supportive?

JulieF

You could definitely be a good listener as they go through the process.  Right now, I have a close friend in Illinois (I'm in Ohio), and she is always available for me to talk or type about the newest thing I found out about the adoption process or the cute waiting child that I saw on the photolisting.

kmkaull2

When we were in the process, I so appreciated when people asked about our progress.  So just be interested and excited for your friends.  Treat them like expectant parents.  It just means a lot when other people show they care.

Dr.Loretta

I would just be supportive.

And not come out and ask about timelines every time you talk to them. A friend of mine who adopted got, "Any news yet?" daily from some people, and it drove her nuts. Just ask how things are going and let them lead the conversation.

GL to them.

Art Teacher

kmkaull2:

When we were in the process, I so appreciated when people asked about our progress.  So just be interested and excited for your friends.  Treat them like expectant parents.  It just means a lot when other people show they care.

I agree with kmkaull -- treat them like expectant parents.  Be there for them and ask questions.  Be interested in what they are going through and be supportive. 

meganroselee

kmkaull2:

When we were in the process, I so appreciated when people asked about our progress.  So just be interested and excited for your friends.  Treat them like expectant parents.  It just means a lot when other people show they care.

 

I agree with this.  We told our friends we were adopting about a month ago and no one, including my sister, has asked about our status.  We just had our first home visit so we're just starting the process, but I feel a little sad that my friends can't share my excitement the way they probably would have, had I been pregnant...

RJMbim

Dr.Loretta:

I would just be supportive.

And not come out and ask about timelines every time you talk to them. A friend of mine who adopted got, "Any news yet?" daily from some people, and it drove her nuts. Just ask how things are going and let them lead the conversation.

GL to them.

This drove me nucking futs! Be supportive but not a pest be mindful that whiel you want to be excited and happy for them and there is a possibility *knock on wood* that it may very well fall through.