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Houston Babies
Moms of 2+ (or soon to be 2+)
I know I've posted this before, so sorry for the repeat question, but it hasn't really resolved itself.
Marion has always been put to bed by her dad. Now though, every single night she asks for me. Sometimes it's a pretty big fight, sometimes it's just I'll hear her ask for me while they're reading books. She's stopped giving me good night kisses and now I just stick my head in the nursery to say goodnight.
She's been in MDO for over a month now. We've
gone back to co sleeping for all her naps at home and other than two
days a week at MDO, we're not apart except for an hour on Tuesdays when I
go to Pilates and she goes to childcare (which she can see me from
there and we've been doing it for over a year.) Her MDO drop off has
gotten a lot better and there aren't really any tears anymore. Plus,
I've stayed outside and watched her and she's done being upset by the
time I've been out less than a minute. We went back to cosleeping for naps because she just wasn't sleeping without me and I know she had a bit of separation anxiety from MDO.
I don't mind putting her down for the night, but with the new one coming in 9.5 weeks, I just don't know if I'll be able to put her down with needed to BF the baby. So I'm not sure what to do. Put her down and risk having it disrupted by the baby? Keep letting her dad put her down and just see how it plays out when the baby comes? And I should add, she's not screaming the majority of the time. If she gets really upset by it, I will step in and put her down as neither of us wants her to get hysterical.
Is this some premonition she has about her sister coming? Or is this just something all almost two year olds go through? She's just so very very mom centric lately and she's never really been a mama's girl before.
So any great advice from the been there, done that moms?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Moms of 2+ (or soon to be 2+)
DD did the same thing right around 2, she got SUPER clingy and she's gone through a few phases since. She does it when she isn't feeling well too, all she wants is mommy.
We do our night time routine together and I was SUPER stressed about how we'd handle it with the new baby coming. Honestly it's worked out beautifully, better than I could have ever expected. DD wants J in the room as she simmers down for the night. So we all climb into her bed together or if J is sleeping in the bouncer/swing I leave her there. Some nights I nurse J, some nights she's not ready to eat. Basically we roll with it. The thing that we keep the same is our involvement in A's night time routine...we just couldn't justify changing that. So, in short I guess whatever you're comfortable doing now you can and will keep doing it when the new one arrives, you just have to be flexible on bringing her into the room with you or leaving her to rest for a bit.
Hope this helps a bit!
j+k+m+e | running with needles
Lucas has always switched between favoring one parent or the other for things. It always changes. We've learned to go with the flow as much as possible on the "I want Mommy/Daddy" fronts.
As for juggling two, I try to remember that we are a family -- all of us. I am not only Lucas's Mom, but also Sean's. So, that means sometimes Sean gets nursed when Lucas needs something. Dad handles it or Lucas has to learn to wait.
The reverse is also true. Sometimes Sean goes into the Pack and Play, crying or not, because Lucas needs my help.
These kids have the capacity to expand themselves to include more people, even siblings, and new routines in their lives.
With two, you are more apt to just let it happen, because there really is no choice. Your fractured attention does not allow you to follow one thing, routine or person, too closely.
Kids change on who they prefer to spend time with. Emmy is a daddy's girls but now that she's into crafts, baking, playing doll, etc... she's been wanting to be around me a lot more.
I'm not sure if this is an option for you or not, but have ya'll consider having her go to sleep on her own? It's easier said than done and this is our first full week or sticking to it with Emmy and she's actually doing great, but she is also a little older too. Since you have 9 weeks left, and if you want to take this approach, then it's better to do it now before baby than after because you don't want her feeling none of ya'll want to be with her because of the new baby. We didn't have her sleep on her own before the baby came, but we did move her to her own room(which is a big change) 3 months before the baby came because we didn't want to do it after.
Anyhow...like Kelley mention, it may not be as big of a deal as you may think once the baby comes and the timing of bedtime. The baby is going to have such a random schedule the first couple of months and so you may be able to stagger the feeding and bedtime schedules. Or you can nurse while sitting there for your daughter to sleep.
E has always been a momma's girl, but way more so since I became pregnant. I was the one who put her to bed until about a month ago when she started the climbing out of her crib thing. DH does it now and she's done pretty well with it. Since we moved, we make it a family routine (like Kelley suggested) and she responds pretty well most nights. We plan to include the baby in the routine once he arrives (as much as possible).
I totally commiserate with you, though. Not only am I exhausted from pregnancy, but also exhausted from having E all over me for the vast majority of my waking hours! I figure this, too, shall pass and she'll adjust.
This was a hge concern of mine before S was born, but the others are right, it just all works out. DH has been in charge of bedtime for a long time, but E always wants to cuddle with me before bed and then I read her a couple stories too.
After we brought S home, she wanted me AND S. He was "her baby". So we laid down on her twin bed with a newborn between us and read stories. And sometimes I just sat in the chair in her room and held the baby while daddy read.
I was very reluctant to say that I couldn't cuddle/read/give her what she wanted because even if you don't say it's because of the baby, she'll know it is. But after a while when everything was settled in and I wasn't afraid of a backlash against the baby we do sometimes say that S needs me and daddy just brings her to me for a kiss.
We also did the bedtime routine as a family. It was really nice and I am honestly a little upset that the way Mathis has dictated his own sleep schedule doesn't facilitate that as often anymore. Anyway, when M was about 6 weeks old, DH had to go OOT for a week and I was freaked out but I would just sit with T in his bed, read to him with M on my lap, then shut off the light and sit with T while M nursed and that was it. I didn't have to stay with T until he was asleep, tho.
I will say, you might be lucky like I was. As long as I gave him some one on one time daily and explained things clearly, T was very patient while I had to deal with Mathis.
But you just work it out. Trying to make it all too perfect is going to stress you out and it's never going to work. It's not perfect but it's totally manageable.
For now, my advice would be to have both and DH put her to bed at night. Go to her when she asks for you, stay if she wants you to, extract yourself when you can. I have found with both my boys when they are clingy tehy get over it faster if i do give them some attention. It's like they are hungry and will be until I feed them enough, KWIM? BUT also keep Josh in the equation because you will need that to happen more times than not when the baby gets here.
j+k+m+e | running with needles