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Ready to shoot BM!
Stepson #2 is only two years old and his mother is a trip. She's a great mom but other than that I feel like she is not a good person. My husband and I have been married for 5 months and she has already flip flopped on if she is talking to me twice now. When we first got married we knew we were moving soon after on Army orders but she had already kept him away from me for two months. Little Anthony got really sick with double pneumonia and she ''made sure'' that I was not welcome in the hospital and was not allowed to come visit him. She would even kick my husband out of the room so her friends could come in the room because she ''didn't like me''. He had four surgeries and she still wouldn't let me in. My stepfather is pastor and didn't care what she said. He went to pray for him and after he was done she began to bad mouth me to him. She had never met me or talked to me. I finally got to see him two days before we had to move. She invited me over for breakfast so I could spend some time with him. I swore she was trying to kill me. She then apologized about how she had taken things out on me and was being very unreasonable. We moved away on good terms. We then started texting back and forth just about how he was doing. Now for the past three weeks she has just stopped texting back and it's getting really annoying. Since my husband is deploying I'll be moving back to have our baby. Baby mama and I had already set up some time so I could see Anthony and so he could meet his little sister or brother. Now she acts like that won't happen. So I'm ready to shoot her. I thought she would understand seeing that she was stepson #1's stepmother and still ask about him. I guess she is not as mature as I thought.
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Re: Ready to shoot BM!
I can sympathize with your issues.
And not to be one of those jerks that takes everything literally, but it's probably not a good idea to put something out on the internet about shooting someone. I get that you're venting, but once you put something out there--via email, a message board, text, etc--it's hard to take back.
I wouldn't rush it, if your ss is only 2, i am assuming you and your DH got together soon after his split with bm? She probably still has issues with their break-up, him getting re-married and now having antoher child.
I've been with my DH for 1.5 years and I have still not met my sd's bm. If I were you, I would just lay off and focus on yourself and your upcoming birth of your child. GL!
20 yrs old, 3rd wife, this is her 2nd biological child and calls herself a domestic goddess, to me that means unemployed.
These comments have no bearing on her current post. Please offer advice or support and if you have neither then simply don't comment. We are here to help one another the best we can, not to try to make them feel worse. Just like your mom used to say,"If you don't have anything nice to say then don't say anything at all.".
But it has everything to do with her post. The mother of a sick 2 yr old child in a hospital going out of her mind w/ worry and wants to limit the in and out visitors to her child. And the Wifey of month wants to waltz herself and her exended family in the children's ward of the hospital.
Uhm yeah I would be worrying more about my child than if I gave the newest mrs in a string of mrs. the cold shoulder or wasn't a gracious hostess while my child was fighting to breathe from double pneumonia and his still forming immune system. Hells yeah i would bar her and her family from coming and going. They can sit outside in the waiting area and pray if they want to be a comfort and support.
IF this OP had any compassion or maturity at all she would realize that this is not the best time to try and establish her place by the bedside of the sick child.
This OP is all butthurt about the Biological and Custodial mother (we are not babymamas here thank you very much) didn't want to get to know her while the child is struggling to breathe. I'm sorry but OP Step OFF. This isn't where you want to stike your battleground it only makes you look selfish, insecure and a whiney brat.
And honey dont' tell me the rules of the damn board I wrote them I've been an active poster since 2006. I've been here before the bump was even a website.
Cotton, who are you anyway? You have 26 posts and are now the de-facto monitor of our board?
Being 20 and the 3rd wife has a ton to do with this post. Being 20 and the 3rd wife means that you will not be getting respect from most people. Being a 20yo SM means that you will not get respect from most people. I am not just talking on here, I am talking IRL. And it is likely why the BM is not taking her serious, even if the BM is also very young.
And it might explain why the DH is not stepping up, if he is on wife #3 and she is practically a kid herself. From what was written above he is not taking her serious, he is not giving her respect and instead of realizing that she needs her DH to make her a part of this situation he is ignoring her while doing who knows what.
She thinks that because she is married 5 months that she should get visitation with the child and that she deserves information on the child to be given to her regularly, this is not true and although many older woman also think this way, it sounds like inexperience and immaturity. She has no legal right to this child, her DH may or may not have legal rights and he is the only one that the BM should be giving the info to, I know that it works for some families to have the BM and SM communicate but that obviously is not the case here so to think that at 20 and married 5 months to a man that has been married twice before that you can come in and demand time and information, um, no.
She would even kick my husband out of the room so her friends could come in the room because she ''didn't like me''.
This is a DH problem. You are mad at the wrong person here. HE shouldnt have allowed that to happen. The fact that he did sends up a red flag for me.
She had never met me or talked to me.
You didn't write this till further down, If I was BM and had never met you, and the first time was going to be you coming to the hospital where my child was sick, I'd say hell no to that too. As a mom, I'd be concerned about the germs and wahtever while my child was laying there with PNEUMONIA!
She invited me over for breakfast so I could spend some time with him. I swore she was trying to kill me. She then apologized about how she had taken things out on me and was being very unreasonable.
um, did I miss where she was trying to kill you? I don't get it...
Now for the past three weeks she has just stopped texting back and it's getting really annoying
So, she was a biotch to you first, then nice, then you decided that you wanted to be friends and text her, and now your 'annoyed' that she won't text you back and be your buddy? No one HAS to be your friend. 9 times out of 10, BM isn't friends with the new wife, that's just the way it is. Being in a BF is not puppies and rainbows my dear.
Baby mama and I had already set up some time so I could see Anthony and so he could meet his little sister or brother. Now she acts like that won't happen. So I'm ready to shoot her.
So your ready to SHOOT her? Really?? Mature way to deal with the situation at hand. Who says that? Especially on the internet???
I guess she is not as mature as I thought.
Me thinks someone else needs to do a little growing up as well...
So, I also gather from your post you are 'baby mama' #3? Hmm.... I think we had something to say about this in the 'board rules' post a few days ago, did we not? It sounds to me like you need to re-evaluate this whole situation. And remember, if your DH deploys BM doesn't HAVE to let you see SS. Sure, it would be nice since you are bringing a new brother or sister into the world for him, but she doesn't HAVE to. Be gracious w any time she allows you to see him.
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"Karma1969: If baking someone a birthday pie/cake is romantic, I must be a slut."
Hey, who handed you the hall monitor sash? Pffft.
I am not going to be snarky, but my comments will also not be sugar coated, since they are basically common sense.
I know that its hard to hear that you may be going about something in the wrong manner, when all you have are good intentions. And while some may have been flip in their responses, its not because we want you to fail.
And I DO want you to suceed, not just because your a SM and DM, but because you are now part of the Military Family. Being military makes EVERYTHING harder. And there are higher expectations on us as well.
Your actions (even as a spouse) have a much wider affect than in other cases. What YOU DO and SAY can and will affect your DH's job. As the wife of a Chief Master Sergeant in the AF (that is the equivelant to a Command Sergeant Major in the Army) and daughter of a Colonel, I could tell you a gazzillion stories about wive's actions and attitude screwing there hubbies careers.
Please read what we posted and really think about it.
1st, a lot of you are a bunch of bitches.
2nd, I didn't come for advice or to be the newest memeber of the I have a stepchild group or a mother of a stepchild to deal with. It was a vent.
3rd, I have been in his life since he was 3 months old.
4th, she has no job and pays no bills. I stopped working when I got pregnant. Which means myself and my husband have been paying his bills. Not her. So yes when he is in the hospital, I expect to be there. Especially when I was around him every other day.
5th, My husband has stepped up but everything doesn't happen as quick as one would wish.
And 6th, When I say she's a good mother but not a good person, I mean she's good with her son but bad to everyone else. Even her family that only helps her out. It's about how she treats other people.
All your base are belong to us-haha It's been a while since I have heard that!
Someone set us up the bomb!
*No his parents were not married when he was 3 months old.
*I do have an education. I have graduated college with my degree thanks.
And my 'bunch of bitches' comment was because people really sat and judged a person they don't know. It wasn't asked of them to judge anyone in the post. Then throughout the weekend, got crabby with other people over something that had nothing to do with their actual lives or anyone they actually know.
AND YES, I am wife #2 and I am having my 2nd child. People saying I shouldn't be having my second child really don't know the background. I don't tell you how many kids you should or should not have, when you should have you children or which number wife you should be. No one picked you as the judge of my life solo Dios.
Some people have enough money to take care of 2 children and not work during pregnancy. Obviously, I do if that is the route I have chosen to take.
I really think it is crazy how all of it got. Pero, have a good week.
Oh honey, really, NO ONE came looking for you to judge you. Your put your business out there in public, of course you are going to get judged. If in fact you do have a college degree, please speak, or in this case type, like you do. You sound uneducated and very immature. Your post reeks of selfishness. If your kid was sick in the hospital would you want his fathers current ladyfriend trying to get in there to visit? Me thinks you would have more important things on your mind and would not want the drama. Although you do come across as quite the drama-lama, so maybe you would.