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Why does the topic of sex come up so soon?

achase123achase123
in Single Parents

So, granted, I have been out of the dating game for awhile and haven't seen anyone since January....however, I am surprised about how soon the topic of sex comes up in a relationship.

When I was seeing J in January the topic came up the second night we hung out.  I made it clear that if that was all he wanted then he was barking up the wrong tree.  He was ok with it, but I truly think that it was his main objective.  We did end up sleeping together but split shortly thereafter. 

With C, the first night we hung out this subject came up.  We had both been drinking so that was really no surprise.  We have already talked about it a lot and I have an appointment at my gyno next week to get on the pill-just in case.

I guess I am just out of the loop because it seems like when I was dating when I was younger this topic didn't enter the picture for awhile.  What is everyone elses' experience with this?  Am I just being old-fashioned?  I typically would wait about a month to sleep with someone, depending on the circumstances.  With J we barely waited two weeks and it seemed like an eternity.  What is everyone elses thoughts on this?

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Re: Why does the topic of sex come up so soon?

  • alibabbbsalibabbbs

    I've been out of the dating scene since 2003, when I met Deadbeat. Back in those days, I was a little slut. Generally, if I wasn't interested in dating the guy, I would sleep with him pretty early on. If I wanted a relationship, I would wait. Maybe sex would come up a few weeks in or something, although I'd wait a few months.

    Of course, I'm now old and jaded and have absolutely no interest in dating or sex. I find the ideas of both revolting. That makes me happy that I got it out of my system in my early 20's. I know exactly what I'm missing.

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  • achase123achase123
    imagealibabbbs:

    I've been out of the dating scene since 2003, when I met Deadbeat. Back in those days, I was a little slut. Generally, if I wasn't interested in dating the guy, I would sleep with him pretty early on. If I wanted a relationship, I would wait. Maybe sex would come up a few weeks in or something, although I'd wait a few months.

    Of course, I'm now old and jaded and have absolutely no interest in dating or sex. I find the ideas of both revolting. That makes me happy that I got it out of my system in my early 20's. I know exactly what I'm missing.

    It's funny how if you aren't interested in someone for a relationship, you are more apt to sleep with them.  This was the way it was with HWLG.  I KNEW I didn't want something with him but I was physically attracted to him so I just went for it.  I have actually NEVER done something like that before.  However, I can't say I would do it again.  I didn't feel bad about myself with him but I think he told some people who saw me out with C Friday night.  That made me feel like people were judging me.

    Being in a relationship makes me want to wait longer, generally speaking.  I want them to know that I respect myself and want to make sure they respect me so no feelings are hurt.  I am impressed you usually used to wait several months.  That is a LONG time.  I don't think I have ever waited that long.  Oh wait, I dated a guy for 2 months in college and never slept with him.  But I was still in love with Super Douche.  Not really a good comparison.

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  • mrgnmrgn member
    I think it becomes because it's interesting and people like to talk about it. Just like how, here, people ALWAYS look/comment on the S-E-X posts. Also, it's a way to flirt... to show your interest. I was impressed that C and I didn't talk about it for the first month of talking. Usually it comes up quickly... I think I usually make a pervy joke and then the guy thinks it is okay to bring it up after that.
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  • r9stedtr9stedt
    I am a whooore.    I made out with D the first night a officially met him, and two nights later he spent the night with me for three nights in a row.  We didn't have sex, but other bases were ran.  :)
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  • turtle1120turtle1120
    In my experience, it always comes up pretty quickly.  I haven't been married, but I've had long term relationships lasting a couple of years so I've dated quite a bit since I'm 31.  I don't know how anyone would hold out for several months....several weeks seems like an eternity.  I think it kind of depends on how much time you spend with the person when you start dating.  If you see them several times a week then I feel like things are fast forwarded a little.  At this point, I just aim for holding out for a month and usually make it a couple of weeks.
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  • achase123achase123

    imager9stedt:
    I am a whooore.    I made out with D the first night a officially met him, and two nights later he spent the night with me for three nights in a row.  We didn't have sex, but other bases were ran.  :)

    If that makes you a whoore then I would hate to think what you would call me.  I made out with C the ENTIRE night that I met him, he stayed the night....home runs were not hit, but we were literally thisclose. 

    Annnnddd I have already seen him in his birthday suit....several times.  And just for the record, he looks mmm mmmm good necked. 

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