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Success after IF
smilee
member
He just does not stop crying- we are dying over here.
smilee
member
My heart is just broken. My poor boy has wailed pretty much for days now. I am not kidding sometimes 16 hours at a time. He is so gassy and miserable. I feel so awful.
We were at the pedi, and are switching things up...
We have tried everything all of the happiest baby tricks, bouncy chair, swing, going around the house in the stroller, white noise... everything.
I really have not slept since I came home from the hospital LAST Sunday. I can't relax, my anxiety is out of control, I can't eat and when I do I can't keep it in ( TMI). Our house is so tiny that I can't escape the crying so there is no way I can nap. I pretty much cry non-stop.
I know I sound like a crazy person right now, and might even need to DD this, but I swear I feel like I am going crazy.
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Re: He just does not stop crying- we are dying over here.
I am sorry you are going through this. The first three weeks with my son were hell on earth and I was a total mess.
Are you BFing? You might want to cut out dairy. If you are FFing, you might want to switch formula. That helped alot with DS. We also used alot of Gripe Water and that helped too- he was addicted to that for about 3 months. White noise helps too. All those Happiest Baby on the Block things do work.
We've tried everything. Even switching to soy. Have been doing the happiest baby like crazy.... nothing works,
A formula switch can take a week or so to kick in to gear.
Reflux might also be a good bet.
Oh honey, I'm so sorry! The early days (weeks!) were hell for us, too. Another thought...If you are BFing, have you done weigh-ins before and after feedings? I would want to check that he's getting enough.
Other than that, yeah, white noise (running water, shushing), bouncing, singing...hopefully something will help your little guy.
Big, big hugs!!!!!!
So many hugs. This is the hardest part I think.
For my DD we figured out that she was really hungry and fed (BF) on demand every hour to two hours forever. Burped every two to three minutes during feeding. Used gas drops before every feeding and sometimes after too. Tummy massage, leg bicycles, and I cried a lot too.
I was also very anxious, and this is hard to admit but when she would finally sleep I would just stare at her wishing she wouldn't wake until DH got home becuase I was just so freaked out about her.
The first twelve weeks were so alwful for us. She just cried all the time. It seemed to take forever, but looking back at it was just a blip. So just know that you are not alone. many mothers go through this. My favorite line to this day is "this too shall pass". Helped me get though the tough moments and cherish the good ones.
wait wait wait.... you're barfing your ENTIRE PREGNANCY, and now this?
seriously? did you pull the toenails off baby bunnies in a previous life or something? I kid, I kid, because I feel so darn bad for ya! WTF????!!!!
You've tried anything I would have suggested, other than GET OUT OF THE HOUSE. Find someone (any nesties live near you, if no fam?) and just get OUT for an hour. This cannot be easy.
yikes.
sorry kid.
(I presume you've done gripe water and gas drops? just had to say that)
I really do think I was someone quite awful in a former life....
We did try mylicon drops...
Baby Beau
TTC #1 for 5 years - Many years, many tears 3 Clomid IUIs all BFN IVF#1 w/ ICSI = BFP!!!! Beta #1 - 157 11dp3dt, Beta #2 - 340 13dp3dt
FET for #2 9/1/11 Beta #1 9dp5dt - 153!!! Beta #2 11dp5dt - 426!!!
Psalm 113:9 He settles the barren woman in her home as a happy mother of children. Praise the LORD.
After all that you went through in your pregnancy, you'd think you'd get a break here! I'm so sorry.
Another possibility could be a milk protein allergy. The pedi can test his poop. Also, 10% of kids that have a milk protein allergy also have a soy allergy, so a hypoallergenic formula (like Nutramigen or Alimentum) would be the answer rather than soy in that case.
But mainly I second what Davez says-- is there a way you can get out of the house by yourself for an hour or two? You need to get away from that crying, because I'm sure at this point even in those few hours when he's not crying you're still hearing it ringing in your head. I know this won't help you sleep, but can you go somewhere, even to Target, or go get something you love to eat and couldn't stomach when you were pregnant, and buy a cheesy magazine, and sit there and eat and flip through it for a while.
Sending hugs and good vibes your way!
I'm SO sorry you're going through this!
My friend taught me the colic hold. Her daughter was much like what you describe with your little man and she said this hold worked wonders. I'll try to describe it the best I can: Turn your LO so his back is up against your stomach and he is facing out ward. Place one of your arms in between his legs, with your palm on his belly. Put your other arm over his top sholder, again, with your palm on his belly. Link your two hands that are over his belly together and put some pressure down to release gas. He will be at a slant in this position. Rock or bounce to his preference.
Sending big hugs your way!!
ditto those who have suggested it could be a milk/soy issue. this is exactly what little michael was like before we discovered his MSPI (milk soy protein intolerance.) switching to soy formula won't help if he has MSPI. you'd need to switch to a special ($$) formula unfortunately. or, as in my case, if you are BFing, you remove ALL dairy and soy from your diet (including every tiny little bit of soybean oil, soy lecithin, everything. basically all processed food and whole soy/dairy foods.)
you will get through this and you will have experience and hope to offer other new mamas going through it. but i know *exactly* how hard this is, to have him screaming just constantly. it is awful. you are doing a great job, just hang in there. and i would seriously consider that it could be MSPI.
(((HUGS)))
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Awww smilee, I'm so sorry
The first few months are so hard, and it sounds like you got a toughie. If it makes you feel any better, my DD was much the same starting around her due date. Eventually we found that I had low milk supply and that DD was having silent reflux. Today she is the most mellow, easy-going, happy baby you'll ever meet and I often get compliments on how good-natured she is. This WILL NOT last forever, promise.
I might get flamed for this, but I personally don't believe in any diagnosis (including colic) that doesn't offer you any solutions. Definitely make sure your supply is good if you are BFing, try the elimination diet (https://www.kellymom.com/babyconcerns/food-sensitivity.html), and keep going to your pedi, even if it takes a few visits to get this figured out.
Reflux is very common and is often diagnosed in babies who cry as much as yours does. Read this: https://www.kellymom.com/babyconcerns/reflux.html#refluxsymptoms. Scroll down to GERD and see if it fits - if it does, even if your baby doesn't actually spit up, go to your pedi and tell him/her you suspect reflux and would like a swallow study. It's painless and easy and can show you with some certainty whether DS is refluxing or not. When I took DD, the doctor viewing the scans (it's in real-time) told me she didn't see anything until boom - DD refluxed all the way into her mouth and swallowed back down. Poor thing had acid burning her esophagus non-stop. We had to try a couple different meds, but once we found one that worked, the difference was nothing short of a miracle.
I know it will get better for you and I hope it's soon! Hang in there!
((HUGE HUGS))
I'm so, so sorry you're going through this. I'm just going to contribute two wacky ideas my BFF did with her super-colicky firstborn. He didn't respond to regular white noise, but she would actually turn on the vacuum in his room and leave it standing there running next to his crib for a bit. That was the only white noise that worked and he'd go to sleep. Also, regular swings weren't enough. They somehow discovered that he liked to be swung very vigorously in the car seat carrier - they'd swing him the whole arc of their arms. Finally, her DH actually put a strong hook in their living room ceiling beam and hung the car seat from his repelling gear. He hung from it himself to test it and then hung the baby seat and pushed it like a swing at the play ground. She was super pissed at first, but it was the only thing that worked. I know these sound absurd, but they were desperate and it worked. You sound desperate too, so I just wanted to share. I hope you get some relief soon.
Sam had a few days at a time that were like that - largely during growth spurts. It does sound like something is really bugging him, but - until you find out if it is reflux or a dairy intolerance or something, you can try what finally worked for us for a while - it is HBOTB based, but all at the same time.
Wrap him up TIGHT. Use a miracle blanket or swaddle sack or something so his arms are down by his side.
Put him on his side and bounce on a bouncy ball while loudly shhhhhing until he calms down for a moment. When he is calm (even for a moment), put him in a swing. Set swing to go as fast as it goes (strap him in if you need to). Now, for white noise - screw the little devices on the swing. Download some white noise from iTunes and play it LOUD on your stereo. If your house is small you will hear it everywhere. Obviously don't ruin your hearing, but play it so that it just surrounds you from all sides.
I am not kidding - I sat in our house with white noise blaring while Sam swung away for 4 hours and it was the best 4 hours I had been able to have since birth.
Best of luck - it really does sound like you have tried everything so I am sorry if this is all a repeat. Talk to your ped and keep trying - do what you've been doing but bigger, I guess
That's really all I got.
Hang in there, I really don't blame you for being so frustrated. Could you at least go to a friend or family member's house for a long nap? You would be amazed at how helpful a 3-4 hour block of quality sleep could be.
(((hugs)))
I am a runner, knitter, scientist, DE-IVF veteran, and stage III colon cancer survivor.
No advice here, but I just wanted to send a big ((((hug))))!
Colic hit us hard at 3 weeks. There was literally nothing I could do to make the boys stop crying. It was awful.
Hugs.
I am so sorry - it is so hard. My little guy cried a lot, too, and I remember being so frustrated. Just remember, the crying itself doesn't hurt them, and if what you are doing isn't comforting him, it is ok to leave him alone in his crib to cry while you shut the door just to get a little break. And ditto all those that suggested reflux - my DS had terrible reflux, and was MUCH better on Zantac. Also looking back, I think he was hungry a lot of the time. He spit up so much, he probably was, but I didn't know and didn't feed him as much as I probably should have. But he is now a happy little guy, and all of that crying hasn't hurt him at all! And I also had terrible anxiety about my little guy as well, which didn't help. I second what others have said about getting out, but I would suggest having someone take LO for a walk outside while you nap (and if you are BFing, have someone give him a bottle so you can get a longer stretch - I never did that, but looking back I should have). Outside it doesn't matter if he is screaming! Good luck, and I am thinking of you!
ETA: I didn't see that you said you had tried this - but definitely try walking him outside - my DS LOVED it outside. He would be crying, and we would get outside and he would instantly stop...DD is the same way. I also remember reading that if they don't stop crying after a walk around the block, then they are probably hungry, so feed him. And even if this doesn't work, like I said, outside it doesn't matter if he is crying!
I am so, so sorry you're going through this. My niece was like this for about 13 weeks. I truly do feel for you. All these girls have great advice. I'd try the allergy route first. I know my sister wore my niece pretty much all the time and it really helped.
I would definitely try to get out of the house for an hour or two for your sanity. If I were closer I would totally come over!
Married 8.13.2005, M/C 12/8/06- 5 weeks, M/C 2/27/07- 7 weeks, M/C w/ D&C 8/10/09-6.5 weeks *Charles Lawrence born 5/2/08 @ 3:14am, 7lb 8oz, 20.5 inches. Clomid, Crinone and baby aspirin. *Alexandra Claire born 9/14/10 @ 9:52am 6lb 14oz, 20.5 inches. Femara, Crinone and baby aspirin.
~12/05 * 7/06 * 12/06 * 4/07 * 10/08~
"When the world says, "Give up" hope whispers, "Try one more time"
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Have you tried Gripe Water. Cora cried all the time - for a long time. Gripe water was the only thing that calmed her stomach.
And, seriously - if you need help, let me know. I can swing by
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Oh my god, so remember so much of what you are going through. I did not sleep more than an hour a day for the first 12 days...and then my supply TANKED. I had to give G formula again and my pedi said if I didn't let myself sleep I was not going to be able to BF. At that point I started to turn a corner but up until that point I seriously thought that I might have to check myself in to a hospital....I'm not exaggerating. I really thought I needed to be committed.
I am sure you have gotten tons of advice and really, other than putting him on the boob and reminding yourself that you are almost over the hump of the worst part, I won't try to pretend I have any magic answers. I'm so sorry-- a lot of people don't tell you how bad some parts of the first few weeks can be and I know I felt really guilty about not enjoying motherhood in the beginning. But it will get soooo much better and then you will almost forget this crappy period.
Hang in there!!
xoxo
I'm so sorry. It seems like you've got plenty of good advice from all of the responses I've read. I agree that you should try and get out of the house just for an hour by yourself. I remember DH telling me I had to do that for my own sanity when dd was 2 or 3 weeks old. It felt so weird and I missed dd so much but I needed a break and it sounds like you need one too!
((HUGS))
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LO #2 - 1 m/c, 2 BFNs, 4th IUI worked (unmedicated/self-monitored with new donor sperm).
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Our beautiful son was born July 2008.
2010: 2 IVF's,1 FET = 2 BFN's, 1 c/p
Feb 2011-Unmedicated FET= BFP!! DS #2 born Oct 2011!!.
I remember these days... DD cried nonstop (and I cried right along with her). First of all, make sure you get out of the house when you can... you need a break! And if there's any way you can take turns sleeping, get a nap in, even a short one, try hard to do that. Sleeping and eating are really important for you if you're going to BF.
We tried soy formula... it just made things worse for DD because then she became constipated. I tried eliminating dairy from my diet (I had a low supply, so I BF and FF) and that didn't work. Neither did gas drops. We put DD on reflux meds at around 8 weeks and that seemed to help a bit. Not saying that's what's going on with your LO one but it's possible. Hopefully you can figure it out soon!
I remember being so frustrated that none of the happiest baby techniques worked for DD. I tried a pacifier (every single kind) and she gagged and spit all of them out. I'm not proud of this at all, but I even remember yelling at her a couple times. It was so hard!! And I felt like I was missing out on the enjoyment of having my baby home (and then felt guilty that I was complaining)... add to that the post-partum hormones and breastfeeding issues and I was a mess
But the good news is, things do get easier! I promise!!
Hang in there!! And remember to take care of yourself too!!
The first weeks are so hard! My little guy wasn't nearly as bad as what you're describing, but still I remember walking him around and around the apartment in the middle of the night, both of us sobbing and me feeling so helpless, and thinking, "Oh my god, what have I done to my life?"
Do whatever you need to do to survive these weeks, and always remember that it will get better. Eventually.