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Single Parents
Do you think you or your ex should tell the other if you're seeing someone?
As part of the legal documents of our divorce, I just received Deadbeat's bank statements. It is very clear from them that he has been seeing someone for the past few months and spending quite a bit of money on her, which is the same thing he did with me. He's also taking her to many of the same places he used to take me. I'm crushed. As soon as I put the pieces together, I threw up and haven't stopped crying.
I also feel like a fool because I had no idea. I guess I wouldn't necessarily want to tell him if I was seeing someone, but at the same time, I wish he could have enough respect for me to tell me. I would rather hear it from him than from a mutual friend.
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Re: Do you think you or your ex should tell the other if you're seeing someone?
I completely agree with Steph. Here's some examples: awhile back I was seeing a guy and Super Douche made me feel like I should tell him who it was (small area, everyone knows everyone). I told him and he acted cool, but then wouldn't leave me alone about it. He guilted me because he said P was going to be around this guy so he wanted to know who it was. That was a mistake, I won't be doing that again.
Another example: if you read my update you figured out that I went to dinner at C's exes house. He told her about me the day after we hung out for the first time. But they are friends. She was excited to see that I was nice and normal. And I think it made her feel good in case we develop into something and I were to be around the girls.
That being said, I will NOT mention C to Super Douche. None of his business, he has zero involvement with P so why should it matter? He isn't even a real father IMO so why should I give him a heads up to my person life? The only reason he would want to know was for his own jealous thoughts, not because of concern for P. If he cared about his son he would see him, pay CS, pull his head out, get off drugs, stay out of jail, etc.
I didn't tell my ex when I was seeing someone, and he was spending time with DS. (flame away!)
He figured it out, and then we talked about it. Because I knew my ex, I knew he would react poorly either way. I knew that he would insult me if I was the one that talked about it, so I let him figure it out on his own.
exH continues to insult the choice of who I date-- and my BF sees Lucas about every other weekend on the weekends that I have lucas.
I think how ex-couples handle situations like this is deteremined by the relationship ex-couples have. I think it would be easier to talk to my ex-H about things like that if my ex-H could handle it maturely, but alas, he can't.
You slvt you!
Whatever, call it a double standard but I know that the choices YOU are making in a BF are undoubtedly better than the choices your ex might make.
They will always have something to say about the other guy. Period. I think the last guy I was seeing XH said, "dude, isn't he shorter than you". Ummm, no, he is the same heighth as you Super Douche, 6' 0". And I am 5'3". Couldn't come up with anything better than that since the guy is a great guy and very well liked.
Oh, and Super Douche told me that he wanted to introduce DS to some crackwhore he'd been dating for approximately a week. He couldn't figure out why I laughed so hard that I fell over. He's a sharpe one that guy.
my ex already did that! With someone who didn't even have custody of her children because of "living conditions", but on one of her visits with her kids, exH set up a play date with L. They dated for like a week. :::eye roll::: Because that is sooo much better than me dating the same guy for almost 7 months now.