am I in the wrong?

superluper · July 2010

So this is the typical fertiles versus me argument. A friend that I know sorta well but knows about my history TTC and our losses etc. calls to say she's pregnant. Goodie.

I'm handling this okay until she launches into her explanation about how she "understands" how I feel because they tried for two months with no luck, started charting and it took another THREE months to get PG. (so that would be 5 months total). I have been TTC since July of 2008 with lots of troubles and two losses along the way.

Am I being b!tchy for feeling like she doesn't understand and she's just trying to make herself feel better? I mean seriously I was doing fine until she launched into the "I know how you feel" speech.

On the other hand, I was actually able to legitimatly feel happy for a couple I know who has had lots of struggles and is finally pg after their third IUI with two failed IVFs in there too. So I am getting a little better.

I think I'm just a bitter ole hag.

Scout05 · July 2010

She is a Fertile Ho, and she has no EFFING clue how you feel.

She should shut her damn mouth and be happy she has no effing clue how you feel.

bbhalphen · July 2010

You're not being b!tchy. She doesn't understand, and she's not right for thinking she does.

Court1 · July 2010

No, people suck. She's wrong. I hope she has terrible morning sickness for being such a high horse FH.

JuJuBe3 · July 2010

I don't think you're even close to being in the wrong. I remember crying when we weren't pg after 3 months of trying with good timing and I know it's frustrating when you are there. However, it does even begin to compare to someone who has suffered losses and/or tried for years.

JuJuBe3 · July 2010

I don't think you're even close to being in the wrong. I remember crying when we weren't pg after 3 months of trying with good timing and I know it's frustrating when you are there. However, it does even begin to compare to someone who has suffered losses and/or tried for years.

rjl07 · July 2010

You aren't wrong at all. I would be furious. I find it a lot easier to be happy for someone when I know they have struggled. I don't wish this crap on anyone, but I do have a hard time being overjoyed at their news when it's so easy for them. I just found out my friend who got married in April is already pregnant so it was probably on the first try and it's killing me.

dandyelle · July 2010

Her little diatribe about understanding how you feel is like telling someone with cancer that you totally get their struggle because you had the flu once.

Sometimes dealing with the insensitivity of people who are supposed to love and support you is as hard as loss/IF itself. I'm really sorry your friend said that to you.

BeachCole · July 2010

Not bitchy at all, sweetheart - I would be so upset if it were me. She doesn't have the slightest clue what you've been through, it was uncalled for for her to say she understands. (hugs)

ERICA21779 · July 2010

ambrandau2:

She is a Fertile Ho, and she has no EFFING clue how you feel.

She should shut her damn mouth and be happy she has no effing clue how you feel.

You know, I was going to respond on my own and then I said to myself.......there is no way I could say it as perfectly as Alison!

So THIS exactly!

ColindaP · July 2010

She has no idea how you feel. She's a twat who was impatient and easily frustrated. What a dork.

EntropicEpona · July 2010

ambrandau2:

She is a Fertile Ho, and she has no EFFING clue how you feel.

She should shut her damn mouth and be happy she has no effing clue how you feel.

Ohmygod, yes. THIS. So much THIS.

pepomntpat · July 2010

Nope, you are not wrong.

dondraandluis · July 2010

You are definitely not in the wrong! She has no idea how you feel. That isn't anywhere near the same thing at. all. She deserves a wake up slap.

KristysRedBarn · July 2010

She has no clue how you feel. One, you've had a loss, which is very different from it just waiting a little while. Two, you've been at this a lot longer. Three, your going through a lot more to ttc than she did. So no, your not wrong and I don't think your bitter.

babygirlpriest · July 2010

Did you actually physically hit your friend? No?

Then no, you we NOT in the wrong. She's a tool.

jen629 · July 2010

no you are not wrong at all..I am sorry:(

OCIrishBruin · July 2010

Ugh. That is so insulting that she claimed she understands how you feel. It only proves how very wrong she is. I'm sorry.

babes12 · July 2010

no your not bitter. some people like to believe they understand how "we" feel but unfortunately they don't. i understand that TTC is difficult for many people but it becomes a different story once you've experienced a loss and then have to TTC for a long period of time on top of that.

(((hugs)))

ShellShockedMama · July 2010

Seeing as it takes the typical couple SIX months to get pregnant, even with timed intercourse, she's an idiot--perhaps well meaning, but still.

5 months vs. several years (plus the devastation of loss) is NOT the same comparison, not by a long shot. You are not b!tchy for feeling the way you do. I think you're right.

However I AM b!tchy, so me agreeing with you may not be in your best interest Wink