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Single Parents
Does anyones DB not care at all about LO?
I guess this is more of a vent. i dont know. share your stories..
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Re: Does anyones DB not care at all about LO?
X has been trying to be involved. And I say trying because he's only doing it for his parents. It would be easier on LO and I if he didn't do that, his parents are more than welcome to be involved without X's stupid drama.
I'm glad you and your boyfriend are doing well, and I agree that at this point you shouldn't 'rely' on him being a father figure, but maybe some day he can be.
GL!
My DDs father hasn't met her yet either. He pretty much disappeared til she was about 7/8 months. He has been calling about 2/3 times a week since then and is suppose to meet her next weekend.
In the long run, your DD will be fine if he decides to stay out of her life. Does she have male family members to look up too? I made sure Low was around my male best friend and my brother when he was home on leave. Good luck with everything.
::Raises hand::
I saw DB in Walmart a few days ago and not only did he act like I didn't exist, but he didn't ask about LO either. (And yes, he did see me... He looked at me and my heavily pregnant belly and walked away.)
We are in that boat! She was born on 3-27-09 and the last time he saw her was in June 2009. It has been over a year now...I have received one child support check of 50.00 in September and nothing since then. He doesn't attempt to try and see her and is over 4000 behind in child support..I think she is probably better off without him due to the fact he is strung out on drugs!
Mine doesn't!! DD and I went to his grandmother's house last Friday to visit with family in town, and he completly ignored both of us. He has seen her a handful of times since I left him in January 2009. I was informed by him on the 4th of July that as far as he in concerned he never had a wife or a "kid"...and he wouldn't be giving me any more money (which I was not getting much on a schedule anyway)
If this is the attitude he is going to have I don't want him in DD's life and told him that on the 4th of July.
What an a**hole! I'm so sorry Tiff.
It does suck but it is what it is. He's an a@@.
My DD at 11 years old told her biofather during her therapy session that the relationship the was it was wasn't working for her and she doesn't want to see him anymore or have any further contact.
With me and the therapist present he said,' Well if you don't to be my daughter anymore I don't want to be your father"
That was nearly four years ago and he hasn't contacted her since.
He also stopped contacting our son about a year ago. Once I stopped doing the work of making sure the visits happened he didn't get anymore. I haven't heard from him since.
Wait that's not true, he pocket dialed me once and I heard him having a guitar lesson or "jamming" with someone. I guess he's getting the band back together again.
My kids have really no expectations from him. They are fully aware that he is a pathological liar and cannot be depended on for anything.
The real rejection came from the fact that his family, parents, siblings and extended, do not contact the children either. I haven't changed my phone number, I have an email address that is still active that I'm know they have used in the past. But again I stopped doing the work of setting up the visits and picking up and dropping off they all stopped.
XH is so freaking messed up that he doesn't even know what day it is. He says he cares about P but hasn't made an effort to see him since Father's Day-almost a month ago. He rarely contacts me to ask about P, he usually just wants to know "who I am fvcking". Nice. He DID ask about him the other day so I sent him an email with pics along with updates about what he has been doing. Other than that, he's MIA. He has CO supervised visits for no less than an hour a week but he won't organize them to see DS. He complains that he doesn't have the funds to pay for a supervisor but he hasn't been paying CS, plus he had to hire a criminal defense attorney and he is also finding a way to fund his meth habit. Yah, he's a fab father.
So to answer your question, I guess, no, he doesn't care about DS.
This is my situation to a "T" and it is very sad. I am in the same boat as you though and I have stopped making an effort for them to see DS because they know my number, they know where I live, I am friends with SOME of them on FB, etc. If they want to see DS they need to make the effort. Otherwise it is on THEM that they are missing out on such a wonderful little person. But I have given up running in circles trying to make people happy that have treated me and my family horribly.
I am so sorry to hear that his family is the same way. The best part of DB being a DB is that his family knows he is a DB (make sense lol) I told his mother what he said about not having a daughter and that I was not going to bring her around him if he was going to ignore her and all she could say was "well when DD is old enough I will just tell her that her daddy is an a@@hole. From his own mother. Classic!
See his family used to care but now he doesn't "allow" them to talk to me.. His family is in Venezuela and knows very little english so we struggled, but I know enough spanish that I was able to keep them updated. We used to webcam almost every week and they had pictures framed of Serafina. And they had to have printed them off of facebook because I never sent them any.. But now all his sisters have blocked me from facebook and my msn messenger hasn't worked in months so I don't even know.
I get a substancial amount of child support every month right on time, and she is on his health insurance which is really good too. And this isn't even court ordered. When she was born, he wanted pics and cammed occasionally, but I have only heard from him less than 5 times since she was born. And 1 of those times was when he wanted her social security number so he could claim her on his taxes
DD met her "father" the first time when she was 4 months old. He took us to lunch and he went with us when I bought her bibs and cereal. (He "uh...forgot his wallet") This was 2 hours max.
The second time was at a mall in the area when she was 11 months. He met us there for coffee. Talked 30 min and he left, wanted to head home. I didn't understand why he drove 5 hours to see her for half hour and then drive 5 hours home. That is until he butt dialed me and was talking to some woman. It sounded like they were on a date.
The last time was the day of her first birthday party. He came to my house, didn't realize other people were gonna be showing up (uh, it was a party), said I was acting shady when I answered the phone when my mom called and left. He was there less than 20 min and DD was sleeping for all but 2 or 3 min of it.
I cut off contact with him at Easter and didn't answer the phone until he said a couple weeks ago he would be "unavailable for 5 months" (jail, right?). We argued about the same old things, him choosing his lies over his child, and I hung up on him. Haven't heard from him since. I imagine I will in about 5 months though. But if thing go as planned I'll be living out of state with a new phone number.