I hate being ungrateful BUT:

ShellShockedMama · July 2010

A friend called me and listed all this "great stuff" she had from her last baby (who is 18 months or so) and did I want it? Um, ya. Sure!!! Anywhere I can save money is fine by me.

She said that it needed a "little cleaning" and I was fine with that----except that when I went to pick it up, EVERYTHING was covered in black mold.

BLACK

MOLD

omg, I didn't even know what to say. I took it b/c I couldn't hurt her feelings since she loaded it up in her car and everything, but really? If I had stuff covered in MOLD I would (a) not use it on my own child and (b) THROW IT AWAY before I ever offered it to a friend.

(And to anyone that maybe reading this, wanting to twist their panties in a bunch, I don't mind hand me downs, which is why I have this crap in the first place)

But seriously.

BLACK

MOLD

DH took one look at it and asked me if I lost my mind. I feel bad though b/c he wants to throw it away. I feel bad for my friend b/c she meant well and is a great, giving person but I have to draw the line at mold. Even if I cleaned it with bleach, I don't know that I want my baby touching that stuff.

Do you think I'm being too picky or too _bitchy?? Would I be a total _bitch_ in tossing it? Also, the items are older than she told me, she actually used them for her first baby who is 6 now.

jen629 · July 2010

no you are not being picky black mold is TOXIC...and you shouldn't be around it either get rid of it my love...and wow just wow

andrea z · July 2010

Aww.... the thought was nice, but pretty gross.

I would toss it. Did she say she wanted it back when you are done?

Brady1* · July 2010

You are not being ungrateful at all!!! Why do people give stuff like this away? are you 100% that is is mold? I wouldn't want that anywhere near me or my family. I would tell her especially since she has children of her own, who knows where else this mold is.

I would say DH was cleaning some of the things and noticed mold on them, so you're not going to keep the items and ask if she wants them back. If she came over and wanted to see Xavier using said items and none of them were anywhere in site, that might cause a bigger issue than just telling her of "DH's findings". GL and a big ewwwwwwww

babes12 · July 2010

OMG that's terrible!! you better just throw it away. jeez.

i took alot of hand me downs from DH's bro's family but they were fine.

LLRT · July 2010

Tough situation to be in but I would be honest with her. So many people want to give me stuff and finally I had to learn to say no.

Black mold is toxic to anyone, especially you. I would tell her that it looks like there is black mold on everything and that you don't feel it's safe (how the heck did she miss the condition? Ahem, just cleaned up a bit?) or just look the other way as your husband throws the stuff away...

shawn&tony · July 2010

jen629:
no you are not being picky black mold is TOXIC...and you shouldn't be around it either get rid of it my love...and wow just wow

'

this totally! omg!

ShellShockedMama · July 2010

She won't want it back, I already asked.

I will really really hurt her feelings if I try to give it back. I know I will. I wish I could say no without guilt.

Erin RN · July 2010

I agree with Brady! You are not being ungrateful at all, but I would tell her what you found. That was so nice of her, I would hope she would understand.

str8ota · July 2010

It was very nice of your friend but everything said and done your health is most important and I would throw it away also. I guess my big concern is if you should find a way to bring it up to her because she may not be aware it's growing in her house.

ShellShockedMama · July 2010

Oh, she knew there was mold.

She was like "ew that's gross I touched it, here you go"

nurseJK · July 2010

Pitch it all and pray she never asks about it all!

andrea z · July 2010

ShellShockedMama:

She won't want it back, I already asked.

I will really really hurt her feelings if I try to give it back. I know I will. I wish I could say no without guilt.

In this case... I would write her a thank you card/call and thank her for giving you it. I would then toss it. She won't know, and her feelings won't be hurt. If she comes by and notices it isn't there... tell her you are using it at a friend/babysitters/family member's house and how awesome it was to not have to buy two.

AppleRidge · July 2010

I'm with Brady, too. She probably just thought "oh, they need to be cleaned" and didn't make a connection with the mold. Which makes me worry for her children, but I digress.

Sonadora · July 2010

Thank her kindly and put it straight in the dumpster.

ColoRxGirl · July 2010

ShellShockedMama:

Oh, she knew there was mold.

She was like "ew that's gross I touched it, here you go"

So she wasn't even concerned about the area where these items were stored in her home being completely overrun with mold? Not only is it toxic, but good luck ever trying to sell that house if a buyer or inspector finds it. Indifferent

Strunella · July 2010

How the heck did she give you clothes without first looking at them? I mean, not even a once over for spiders? Sounds like those clothes were festering away in her basement for the past 6 years. I'd discard them immediately and if she asks, I'd be totally honest.

denise_m · July 2010

Is it actual black mold or mold that is black? Did she know it was on there?

Either way, I wouldn't use it. I wouldn't throw it away either though. I would tell her a little fib (so her feelings aren't hurt) about how so and so got you that as a surprise. Would she like it back or rather you donate it?

vsackett1 · July 2010

No, I don't think you are being too picky at all. I had friend give me a bag of used baby stuff too, and she thought it kind to put in her old manual breast pump that had some brown, nasty, crusted crap still on the spout and I about Ick! but I took it anyway so I wouldn't hurt her feelings. It was put in the round file as soon as I got home. Some people just don't think. I would have done the same thing as you, taken it to be nice, been horrified on the drive back home, and thrown it away as soon as I got there!

ColindaP · July 2010

Just smear some YI cream all over it. That's anti-fungal. It'll be good as new in no time!

Brady1* · July 2010

ColoRxGirl:
ShellShockedMama:

Oh, she knew there was mold.
She was like "ew that's gross I touched it, here you go"
So she wasn't even concerned about the area where these items were stored in her home being completely overrun with mold? Not only is it toxic, but good luck ever trying to sell that house if a buyer or inspector finds it.

She KNEW there was mold and still gave them to you?! Oh heck no! Throw that crap away!

Addicted2thenot · July 2010

I would big even bring them in the hous yuck

ShellShockedMama · July 2010

denise_m:
Is it actual black mold or mold that is black? Did she know it was on there?
Either way, I wouldn't use it. I wouldn't throw it away either though. I would tell her a little fib (so her feelings aren't hurt) about how so and so got you that as a surprise. Would she like it back or rather you donate it?

I don't really know to be honest with you. It's mold and it's black...? Yep, she knew it was there.

I already called to donation places, they will not take it in the condition I described it in.

vlewis515 · July 2010

Did she even look at it?! I just wonder if she thought it would need to be washed because it had been packed away for so long and didn't bother to inspect it to see that moisture and mold had seeped into it!

ShellShockedMama · July 2010

Addicted2Thenot:
I would big even bring them in the hous yuck

Oh, no. It's in the garage! I kind of put it out of the way so I wouldn't have to deal with it. I might make brent put it in the attic ....?

ShellShockedMama · July 2010

ColindaP:
Just smear some YI cream all over it. That's anti-fungal. It'll be good as new in no time!

Or I could use a tampon covered in yogurt.

ColindaP · July 2010

ShellShockedMama:
ColindaP:
Just smear some YI cream all over it. That's anti-fungal. It'll be good as new in no time!
Or I could use a tampon covered in yogurt.

I could send you some super-powered probiotics.

ShellShockedMama · July 2010

ColindaP:
ShellShockedMama:
ColindaP:
Just smear some YI cream all over it. That's anti-fungal. It'll be good as new in no time!
Or I could use a tampon covered in yogurt.
I could send you some super-powered probiotics.

I'm just happy it worked, what was the brand? I'm going to have to save this as a note in my phone for later. it's good knowledge.

vkbaby09 · July 2010

ShellShockedMama:
Addicted2Thenot:
I would big even bring them in the hous yuck
Oh, no. It's in the garage! I kind of put it out of the way so I wouldn't have to deal with it. I might make brent put it in the attic ....?

It's hard for me to throw stuff away too, but in this case please don't put it anywhere in your house! Put it out to the curb for everyone's sake! I'm pretty shocked that she would be okay giving that to you. I would send her a thank you card and be done with it.

ColindaP · July 2010

ShellShockedMama:
ColindaP:
ShellShockedMama:
ColindaP:
Just smear some YI cream all over it. That's anti-fungal. It'll be good as new in no time!
Or I could use a tampon covered in yogurt.
I could send you some super-powered probiotics.
I'm just happy it worked, what was the brand? I'm going to have to save this as a note in my phone for later. it's good knowledge.

HLC. But I get them at the naturopath's office because they have to be refrigerated. Well, they don't have to be I guess, but letting them get warm is bacterial genocide.

Scout05 · July 2010

ShellShockedMama:

Oh, she knew there was mold.

She was like "ew that's gross I touched it, here you go"

BUT SHE THINKS IT WOULD STILL BE OKAY FOR YOUR BABY?!

She is super nice to offer, but that crap is not allowed near my little X-Man. Uh uh.

nurseJK · July 2010

vkbaby09:
ShellShockedMama:

Addicted2Thenot:
I would big even bring them in the hous yuck

Oh, no. It's in the garage! I kind of put it out of the way so I wouldn't have to deal with it. I might make brent put it in the attic ....?

It's hard for me to throw stuff away too, but in this case please don't put it anywhere in your house! Put it out to the curb for everyone's sake! I'm pretty shocked that she would be okay giving that to you. I would send her a thank you card and be done with it.

I agree! Do not put this moldy *** in your clean house. Mold spreads really quickly especially when it gets warm. If goodwill won't take it that is a bad bad bad sign. Pitch it and send a thank you, say you have it at your mom's house as back ups or something. And yes probiotics are great! They have them in powders, liquids, pills, etc and are great when your kiddies go on antibiotics for 2 reasons- clears up the diarrhea, prevents/treats yeast diaper rashes. Score!

Addicted2thenot · July 2010

Addicted2Thenot:
I would big even bring them in the hous yuck

. Ummm what did I say? Sorry posting from my phone. What I meant to say was I would not even bring them in the house

hking76 · July 2010

andrea z:
ShellShockedMama:

She won't want it back, I already asked.

I will really really hurt her feelings if I try to give it back. I know I will. I wish I could say no without guilt.

In this case... I would write her a thank you card/call and thank her for giving you it. I would then toss it. She won't know, and her feelings won't be hurt. If she comes by and notices it isn't there... tell her you are using it at a friend/babysitters/family member's house and how awesome it was to not have to buy two.

This. Usually I'm all for honesty, but you so don't need extra drama. Good luck!

3ltlones · July 2010

No you aren't being mean, just get rid of it. Look at it this way, they wouldn't accept something like that for donation at a salvation army or anything because like someone else said, it is Toxic for a baby. I can tell that you were grateful to her for giving it to you and would be happy to use it if it weren't harmful to Xavier.

grr_aargh · July 2010

Well, it's either mold or mildew. Neither one comes out easily.

I'd call her back and say that you noticed it had mold/mildew on it and would she like you to throw it away or return it because you probably won't use it. If you KNOW she meant for you to keep it forevers. . . then trash it.

I'm not bunching, FYI. I'd probably wash a few things and see what happened but I totally *get* why someone would be skeeved by it. My money's that it's mildew not black mold anyway - and mildew doesn't come out for ANYTHING.

mamaholic · July 2010

There's no way I would use that either! It was a nice thought if the stuff was in good condition, but totally not something you should expose X to. Plus, if it's that old, there could be recalls on it (depending on what kind of stuff you're talking about).

grr_aargh · July 2010

ambrandau2:
ShellShockedMama:

Oh, she knew there was mold.

She was like "ew that's gross I touched it, here you go"

BUT SHE THINKS IT WOULD STILL BE OKAY FOR YOUR BABY?!

She is super nice to offer, but that crap is not allowed near my little X-Man. Uh uh.

I change my answer to this.

Look, she wanted to unload it, the donation place wouldn't take it, so you became her dumpster. Realizing this, you will place it all in the dumpster guilt-free.

Do you hear me? GUILT FREE.

erpetdoc · July 2010

I just got home, so I didn't read all the replies, but I think you have a wholly justifiable reason for tossing every last piece of it. Black mold is BLACK MOLD. And if she saw that as an okay thing to give away, then maybe she doesn't realize just how awful that stuff is for any human, let alone a baby with an underdeveloped immune system.