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so this is harder than i thought
DS is either teething, reacting to the new baby or hitting the terrible 2's, or some combo of all of these. he is such a sweet kid, but the past few days i feel like i don't even know him. worse, i feel like i don't even like who he is right now. he is defiant, crazy hyper and just WILD. i don't even know this kid! i want my sweetheart back :-(
and i forgot how demanding it is just to be needed 24/7 by a new baby. just to be unable to put her down for very long at all. i have got to figure out one of my baby carriers i think. that way i can devote more attention to DS while still attending to DD needs.
it's just way harder than i thought. i (naively?) assumed DS would not go through a personality change when we brought her home. today the ILs took him so we get a break, but i even feel guilty about THAT. why can't i be enough for him?
and i am unreasonably annoyed that DH is doing yard work because i am lonely and sick of thinking/talking about only kids. realistically, he needs his down time too, and the yard work needs to be done. but i am feeling sorry for myself today.
/end pity party
This discussion has been closed.
Re: so this is harder than i thought
Rated "L" For Life Blog
I'm a firm believer that there is honest to god truth in the phrase "it takes a village". I think our society has really veered away from that, and having your inlaws help like this is nothing but good - for him, for them, for you and for your DD!! They're family!!
and ((((huge hugs)))) I'm kind of terrified as to how DS will react with this baby. I'm sure there are some jealousy issues and fully expect something like that with DS. I have a feeling it will pass. Any way for you to get your DS to help you with situations that usually cause problems? That helps when DS is in a mood. He can feel important by helping mama, and he gets positive reinforcement.
I obviously haven't been there yet, so don't have any experience, but I hope it gets better for you - don't beat yourself up. It's a huge change for you as well as him. It takes time to adjust! (hugs)
I had such a hard time with it too.
I was so torn. This is hard for me to admit but on the one hand, part of me didn't even want DD around because she was distracting me from DS and I wasn't bonding with him as quickly as I did with her. On the other, my feelings were hurt that she only wanted DH or her grandmother (who luckily came into town to help us when DS was born).
I'd say my feelings got better after a month or so. Maybe less. The first few days alone with both of them were really hard because Mady was such a grump, Daddy being gone and all. She had gotten used to all the attention. If I had had family in town it would have been better I think.
After we got a handle on the hitting (which started when DS was born) things got a lot better.
The other thing that helped us was making a "nursing box" with toys that she didn't usually get to play with (some new books, coloring stuff and window crayons) for her to have while DS was nursing. This was esp. important for us since I was (and am) tandem nursing and DD would always ask only when he was nursing.
Hang in there, it will get easier. Definitely try the carriers so you can be more involved with DS. I found that even sitting on the floor while nursing helped her to feel like I was available.
((hugs))
you have a boppy right? i actually had LESS trouble at home once i got my boppy than i did in the hospital with the pillows.
but *hugs* are what i have to offer. and reminders that your hormones are still all sorts of crazy which hopefully your dh also remembers. i remember feeling pretty good for a little bit - short tempered maybe but the crazies really kicked in after the first week - maybe the lack of sleep catches up with you or something.
it's all so hard and so frustrating just having one to deal with i can't imagine having a second acting out on top of it. i hope things get better there soon. remember, one day at a time - and when that isn't working, one hour at a time.
when you're up for it we should get together with our dd's - hamilton too if she's interested. then we can all whine about our troubles together. :-)
more *hugs*
my bfp chart!
our hippy baby blog
I hear you. Then I'd try to be as involved verbally as you can while she's nursing. Ask him to get books for you to read or something you can do while you nurse.