anyone's life NOT tidy, settled and secure yet?

KLDanford@gmail.com · July 2010

I see lots of posts with people showing nursery pictures in their homes, people talking about what their plans are...which is awesome and I envy them!

But DH and I are TOTALLY not in the same boat. Our life is somehow in total flux right now. Due to very recent news, he will likely have to change jobs which means we'll probably be relocating as well...but we don't know the details of any of that yet. Tongue Tied

Stressful? yes. Avoidable? Sadly, no.

CelticWife · July 2010

Mine! Besides the fact that DH and I have the worst luck of any couple on the planet, the next few months are really up in the air for us. DH is graduating from culinary school next month, and is currently hunting for a new and better job. If he gets one, we will be much better off financially but he won't be able to take any time off when DD arrives. I am still on restrictions, so I can't work as much as I need to in order to stash some away for my maternity leave. We also have only one vehicle, so if he gets a job across the river I am car less.

Chaos reigns.

Thankfully, by Christmas, everything will work itself out.

mlc92404 · July 2010

This is our second so we are a little more lax about a lot of it. But the babies room isnt ready, its stripped down and needs everything from paint and carpet on up! We need to buy DS big boy bedroom set so the baby can get the crib and the stuff that goes with it. DH also may be changing jobs. No relocation but different health insurance and possible pay cut (this is kind of tough because his base would be less but overall he would be making more because of bonus/commission). So if he gets the job the next few months or so could be interesting. He works from home a lot now and with the new job that would change.

Mrs.Johns · July 2010

amy052006:

Our life is pretty tidy and secure, but sadly our nursery is not.

My one full bathroom is being gutted down to the studs. It involves breaking through a closet in what will be nursery, and buildinga new closet in there.

So until the work is done, I'm not ordering furniture or painting.

I'm in nursery limbo.

Same exact situation. Except we are having to re-drywall the nursery closet because of the shower leaking. We are still waiting to get a quote back from the contractor. I am dying to just get going already!

stephanieroyer · July 2010

our life right now is a big ball of stress. DH is currently switching from Army to Airforce, across the country from us in a different province, im in my hometown (14 hours away from our home in ontario) staying with my parents, delivering here, which DH will be here in 3 weeks after the course to be here for the delivery..then about 4 weeks after the delivery DH will take off AGAIN across country for 6+ months leaving me with a boy entering Kindergarden and a newborn.. blahhhh and after that we have NO idea where they are posting us, so i have no idea where i will be living in 6 months...hows that for "tidy and secure"

JesscanTri · July 2010

Yep, we are in the same boat. Due to my husband's job (and the industry he is in), we have had to move a lot in the last few years. Right now we aren't sure where we will be next year, however his employer is great and secure. It isn't the best situation and we are tired of moving, but we just have to deal with it. We hope the next move will be the last for a long time and we will be able to buy a home.

TheBuddha · July 2010

::raises hand:: not tidy and secure here either. DH was going to deploy to Iraq which was why we decided to try for a baby (depressing I know, but if something happened to him I would have had no children with him). Then the deployment was cancelled. So DH went back to school (he is still working on his bachelors at age 32) and he is still not done. If he can keep his grades up he'll be done in December. He works part time selling insurance, but doesn't want to do that forever because it invovles a lot of evening and weekend hours.

So I am currently the sole breadwinner and my job offers no paid maternity leave at all.

Plus we're currently in court fighting to get custody of DH's 7 year old son (whose mother is completely incompetent, she chose not to enroll him in kindergarten. Who doesn't put their kid in kindergarten?!) so we're paying HUGE lawyer bills because we have a lawyer and we also have to pay 2/3 of the guardian ad litem's bill (the lawyer to represent the child).

Not tidy and secure at all, but it's our life and we will find a way. I know it

argonne · July 2010

I kind of feel where you're coming from. We are in the process of building a new house. We are supposed to close on Aug. 20th. I am due Sept. 2nd. I have a mini panic attack everytime I think about it. We are in an apartment for the interim and I dread the thought of possibly having to bring the baby 'home' to it. It's a nice apartment, but it's on the 3rd floor and no elevator.

jenvalet · July 2010

We are just now in the process of buying a house, which is stressful enough. I'm sick at the thought of packing and moving at 7 months pregnant, but at least I know this'll hopefully be the last time for a LONG time. I don't know if I'll be keeping my job once the baby is here, so that's a big unknown. We won't have any real nursery until after the baby is born anyway, since being Jewish, we just don't set it up before.

jessie395 · July 2010

Right now I am in nursery limbo also. The walls have been painted, that's it!

KayLee77 · July 2010

right here!! we are planing on gutting our bathroom with our only shower. and it keeps getting put off, so there for our babies room is getting put off. just because we will store tools in the room so we dont have to take everything outside every night.

but before that, the babies room is a disaster because its our office/storage room/junk room at the moment. so there is a bunch of stuff in there that just needs to be donated, but its overwhelming to even look at it. so i keep putting it off.

Jenn06L80 · July 2010

My life is far from tidy right now. My DH and I lived with and took care of my grandfather. He recently passed away, and we had to find somewhere to live. In one weekend, we saw 3 townhomes, made an offer on one, and have settlement Aug 5. So we will be moving, and we don't have much for the baby yet. My DH and mom work in the schools, so they are off, so I am hoping once we move they will get everything done in the new home and nursery! I just feel like my life would be easier right now if I wasn't working full time, and buying a new home! Good luck to you!

sharony_0505 · July 2010

We are definitely not settled! We were supposed to close on our dream home June 30th, but the people that we are buying from are buying a short sale house, and there was some problem with it that they couldn't close. We still haven't closed yet. However, the home that we own, we rented out, and the renters moved on July 1st. So we had to get out. Fortunately, my sister, the saint, let us live with her. We are still currently living there waiting to close on the house. All of our belongings are in a moving truck, clothes, DD's toys, furniture, everything! It's so annoying to not have what we need. In the meantime, my sister sold her house & is closing July 22nd, so we HAVE to be out, and no one has ANY idea when we will be able to close...no answers at all!! So frustating.......

hopkins5 · July 2010

Thank you for posting this. I was really starting to think I was the only one not 110% ready for everything. We just bought a house and we don't move in until the first weekend of August. In the mean time that means all of our baby stuff is all over the place, I'm packing left right and centre, and my boyfriend is on construction duty at the new place (3 hours away from here). He's currently ripping apart two bathrooms - one of which is immediately beside the nursery - so what little we have for our nursery at this point is not even in there until everything gets cleaned up.

stbmittleman · July 2010

OP, I know what you mean. In December DH got transfered to a job site about 2 hours away, so he has to live in a hotel near his job site during the week and comes home on the weekend. The project is constantly getting delayed or the schedule revised. What started out as a 5 month project, is turning into an 18 month project. We've talked about moving to where DH is working, but the cost of living is out of control (San Francisco, so it would be about 2-3x what we are used to paying for half the size space). As it stands, DH will be on site until July 2011, but when (if) that project wraps up, he could be put somewhere else in the Bay Area. I just wish his company could say "We're putting you in San Francisco for the next 5 years" we can move and call it a day. It's so frustrating! I'm not even thinking about whats going to happen when the baby is born and am terrified of having to do it alone during the week while he is gone.

juliagulia322 · July 2010

We are none of the above (tidy/settled/secure). I moved back to the state I grew up in (was away for a year due to MH job) to be close to family for when the babies are born while MH is still trying to find a job here and living out of state. Our townhouse is not ready to move in due to the horrible renter we had and the state of the townhouse. I do not have a job come September since they will not hire me back since I will be on maternity leave right away I will hopefully have a job in February. I'm getting a bit nervous now that these weeks are going to fly by and nothing will be ready. I'm living with my mom now but can't wait to be back with MH and in my own house. I agree stressful yes avoidable not so much!

Fulbri05 · July 2010

Tidy, settled and secure as you can be for a military family. We find out this month (fingers crossed) where we will be moved about a month after LO is born. So I can't prep a nursery, and I can't even buy clothes past 0-3 since we could be anywhere from Colorado Springs to El Paso hehe. So I definitely get the "we're moving but I don't know when or where"

mrsashby · July 2010

We are just now in the able to be settled-secure part of our lives...as in moved into our 1st home and plan on staying in this town for who knows. Our first DS was born in chicago during DH's residency-we had a 700 ft 1 bedroom apt! I have no idea what I am doing as a homeowner...and now SAHM...for now at least. Settled and secure would be great...I can't wait until we get to that feeling!

ashnm15 · July 2010

Due to the construction industry taking a dive DH has made a job change. He travels alot and it could be for days or weeks. Thank goodness he was able to find something the same month that he needed to and he is making good money. We currently have a roommate that is not due to move out until the beginning of Sept. My father just had a stroke and I have been pretty much been living with my parents or what I feel like is out of my car to help them. My house is in upheaval right now. Everytime I walk in I am like Ahhhh. But In the end it will all work! I have faith. i just have to give it time.

dreamtrue80 · July 2010

DH and I will be in a state of flux for about 3 1/2 years. We are in the process of paying off all of our debt and that's when we make the last payment. In the mean time we have to decide if I should stay with my federal job and we should put in a transfer to where his brother lives in Louisiana, or if we should have me quit my job, sell almost everything we own, and move back to Maui where he's from. I see many long discussions in our future. I told him we have to be moved and settled before LO starts school.

DLD102 · July 2010

mlc92404:
This is our second so we are a little more lax about a lot of it. But the babies room isnt ready, its stripped down and needs everything from paint and carpet on up! We need to buy DS big boy bedroom set so the baby can get the crib and the stuff that goes with it. DH also may be changing jobs. No relocation but different health insurance and possible pay cut (this is kind of tough because his base would be less but overall he would be making more because of bonus/commission). So if he gets the job the next few months or so could be interesting. He works from home a lot now and with the new job that would change.

Um, we have very similar situations...

So, OP, no, you're not the only one. Good luck, though, with everything!

MrsDe2008 · July 2010

As you can see, you're definitely not alone! I just posted a similar thought the other day on the December board. DH and I just sold (closed) on our house last week due to it being too small to raise a family, so in the interim of buying a new house, we're staying at my 'rents and looking for an apartment. We live in NYC right now, but ultimately will go to NJ. Being all of my Dr's are here, we figured we might as well stay here 'til after the baby is born. So, I don't even know if our kid will have a nursery. lol

kkss357 · July 2010

We are not even close to being tidy, settled and secure! Around the same time as my BFP, DH's company outsourced to Thailand and DH got laid off. He was a production manager and since production was no longer taking place here, he was out of luck. He is still looking for a job! Money is so tight right now that we can't even begin to think about buying baby stuff. Plus, if he can't find work here, we'll be forced to relocate. Crying

I am working still so we have some income but not nearly enough to reach the tidy, settled and secure stage! He had an interview last week that he felt really good about. We should hear something back this week. T & P please!

Kitiara5512 · July 2010

<=== Mine.

We are living with my parents right now and trying to get our house fixed up and ready for sale. We just spent about 500 on some minor handy man repairs, and now still need to repaint the entire house, inside and out, which will be another 2000 that we dont really have right now. And I miss my house. I dont feel safe or secure there thanks to a friend of mine, but I miss it. And with the repairs we are doing, I kinda wanna stay there until it is totally fixed up the way I want it.

starrkitten89 · July 2010

You are definitely not the only one!I live in a one bedroom apartment-we will be moving when our lease is up in january,but the baby will be here in September.So we have to move everything around.DH is driving me crazy because he doesn't want to buy anything for the baby until we have the shower in a couple weeks.I would rather have a few things now.

We also just found out friday(after they originally told us everything was ok)that our baby has a heart defect that will require surgery right after birth,and LO could be in the hospital for upwards of a month.My number one priority is LO just being okay,but I am very worried about life in general because DH only gets one week paid off from work,and I am a full time student.I was planning to go back two-three weeks after the birth,but now everything is so up in the air.

Life is crazy and you are definitely not the only one feeling the chaos.

Kingme · July 2010

I so could have written this post myself. I just keep telling myself, all you need is a place for your baby to sleep. It doesn't have to be a pretty organized nursery. Take one day at a time and just take care of yourself and make sure your husband is handling the news ok too.

KLDanford@gmail.com · July 2010

kkss357:
We are not even close to being tidy, settled and secure! Around the same time as my BFP, DH's company outsourced to Thailand and DH got laid off. He was a production manager and since production was no longer taking place here, he was out of luck. He is still looking for a job! Money is so tight right now that we can't even begin to think about buying baby stuff. Plus, if he can't find work here, we'll be forced to relocate. I am working still so we have some income but not nearly enough to reach the tidy, settled and secure stage! He had an interview last week that he felt really good about. We should hear something back this week. T & P please!

Ugh, so sorry! I think we're going to be in the same situation - we'll basically find out the fate of my husband's job this afternoon. If it's done, then we're pretty screwed and have to start searching for something. somewhere. who knows! AHH!! I'll send some good thoughts your way. Do the same for me!

lindseybell3 · July 2010

Definitely not tidy and secure. My husband works out of a fellowship doing research at a university and that ends in December (when the baby is born) so he is starting to job hunt now. He's Irish so it's very possible that we will move back to Ireland sometime in the winter. We own a house so will have to sell or rent it. Very stressful/not at all secure feeling.

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