Name your flame...

leneae10 · July 2010

I thought this would be kinda fun? Maybe not. Have you ever been flamed, and if so, what was the general topic?

I've been flamed 2x.

The first - I posted on 2nd Tri about my cousin in law's mother throwing her baby shower, apparently the girls there thought I was a "spoiled b!tch" because I said I would refuse a shower thrown by a family member, LOL! I still think it's tacky for your mother to plan, and throw your shower in her own home. To each their own.

The second - I was a dumb newbie hopped up on new TTCAL'ness and decided to start an "official" TTCAL blog. I should not have done that, got my feelings hurt, but became stronger b/c of it. Looking back, it was very presumptuous of me.

kellbranc · July 2010

I got semi-flamed when I 1st started on the TTC board. I didn't lurk (I didn't know you were "supposed to" lurk) and starting firing questions off like gunshots.... that was not appreciated and they kind of made fun of me. Looking back I cringe that I did that

I was on the TTGP board for a few months prior to my BFP. when I went over to 1st Tri I missed my conversations with the TTCP girls and the "relationships" I built. So I went over to TTGP and posted a "hi I miss you post". I truly meant it just to say "hi"...not to rub in the girls faces I was pregnant and they were TTGP.... I used to see girls that were KU there all of the time. Well I got flamed to the high heavens. Some girls stuck up for me and said that I was an innocent nice girl....but I got flamed just the same! I really and truly just wanted to say "hi".

leneae10 · July 2010

Sunflower730:

I got flammed on IF, after my second IUI where I got pregnant with Triplets. Because my doctor gave us the ok with doing an IUI with 2 mature follies and 1 almost mature. I was called octomom, selffish, someone who would resort on welfare, that I was ruinging IF for other people. They said alot of horrible things I changed my SN to get away from it.

I suppose I won't run over them and tell them that I had an IUI with 3, possibly FOUR follies. Zip it! Yikes!

lindsay.lou · July 2010

The one that sticks out in my head actually happened on the Knot, when I was planning my wedding. I got flamed soooo bad, BUT I STILL THINK I WAS RIGHT.

I was biitching b/c one of my bridesmaids (who is CLEARLY at least a size 6) ordered her BM dress in a size 2. The lady at the boutique told all my BMs that it's MUCH easier to take a dress in, rather than out, so they should order a size up to be safe.

But nooooo....my one BM insisted on ordering 2 sizes DOWN. (She wasn't planning to lose weight...she was irrationally insisting that she WAS a size 2).

She tells me less than a week before my wedding that the dress is nowhere even close to zipping up in the back (she's had the dress in her possession for months now and never mentioned it not fitting). These dresses were handmade by the designer, she couldn't simply "rush order" a bigger size.

So I asked on the Knot for suggestions on what to do (and of course to vent about the whole situation). And people were like:

"Have her to go Macy's and just pick out a similar dress"

"Just tell her to wear whatever she's comfortable in..."

"Don't embarass her, she's probably already humiliated that it doesn't fit, just let her wear a sweater or something over it to cover the back.

I was PISSED! She was WARNED to order a size up. She refused. Now I'm supposed to let her go pick out her own separate dress to wear?? Ummm...noooooo.

But I got flamed and called a brat. There was one poster who flamed me good in that post and now she's on the Bump and I STILL hate her for it.

(I haven't spoken to the BM in question since my wedding day, but not because of this situation.

Sunflower730 · July 2010

Well the thing is I had one IUI canceled cause I had 6 follies, so the girls were under the assumption thatw as the cycle which I would NEVER go thru with that many. The next cycle had 2 and 1 so they were saying horrible things.

MrsManning10 · July 2010

lindsay.lou:
The one that sticks out in my head actually happened on the Knot, when I was planning my wedding. I got flamed soooo bad, BUT I STILL THINK I WAS RIGHT.
I was biitching b/c one of my bridesmaids (who is CLEARLY at least a size 6) ordered her BM dress in a size 2. The lady at the boutique told all my BMs that it's MUCH easier to take a dress in, rather than out, so they should order a size up to be safe.
But nooooo....my one BM insisted on ordering 2 sizes DOWN. (She wasn't planning to lose weight...she was irrationally insisting that she WAS a size 2).
She tells me less than a week before my wedding that the dress is nowhere even close to zipping up in the back (she's had the dress in her possession for months now and never mentioned it not fitting). These dresses were handmade by the designer, she couldn't simply "rush order" a bigger size.
So I asked on the Knot for suggestions on what to do (and of course to vent about the whole situation). And people were like:
"Have her to go Macy's and just pick out a similar dress"
"Just tell her to wear whatever she's comfortable in..."
"Don't embarass her, she's probably already humiliated that it doesn't fit, just let her wear a sweater or something over it to cover the back.
I was PISSED! She was WARNED to order a size up. She refused. Now I'm supposed to let her go pick out her own separate dress to wear?? Ummm...noooooo.
But I got flamed and called a brat. There was one poster who flamed me good in that post and now she's on the Bump and I STILL hate her for it.
(I haven't spoken to the BM in question since my wedding day, but not because of this situation.

Ooh! I think that you are totally right, too! IMO, part of the BM's job is to make it as easy as possible for the bride, not put up a big fuss, go with the flow, etc... I would definitely not have been okay with changing the whole look of the wedding just b/c she wouldn't listen to advice...

lindsay.lou · July 2010

I got all heated typing out my flaming. I'm mad all over again now!

I'm sure I've also had more "mild" flamings, but I've been on the Knot/Nest/Bump since 2006...so I don't remember them all.

The one I mentioned is the Big One.

leneae10 · July 2010

lindsay.lou:

The one that sticks out in my head actually happened on the Knot, when I was planning my wedding. I got flamed soooo bad, BUT I STILL THINK I WAS RIGHT.

I was biitching b/c one of my bridesmaids (who is CLEARLY at least a size 6) ordered her BM dress in a size 2. The lady at the boutique told all my BMs that it's MUCH easier to take a dress in, rather than out, so they should order a size up to be safe.

But nooooo....my one BM insisted on ordering 2 sizes DOWN. (She wasn't planning to lose weight...she was irrationally insisting that she WAS a size 2).

She tells me less than a week before my wedding that the dress is nowhere even close to zipping up in the back (she's had the dress in her possession for months now and never mentioned it not fitting). These dresses were handmade by the designer, she couldn't simply "rush order" a bigger size.

So I asked on the Knot for suggestions on what to do (and of course to vent about the whole situation). And people were like:

"Have her to go Macy's and just pick out a similar dress"

"Just tell her to wear whatever she's comfortable in..."

"Don't embarass her, she's probably already humiliated that it doesn't fit, just let her wear a sweater or something over it to cover the back.

I was PISSED! She was WARNED to order a size up. She refused. Now I'm supposed to let her go pick out her own separate dress to wear?? Ummm...noooooo.

But I got flamed and called a brat. There was one poster who flamed me good in that post and now she's on the Bump and I STILL hate her for it.

(I haven't spoken to the BM in question since my wedding day, but not because of this situation.

Indifferent What a crazy BM!!!! You were totally justified in your annoyance!

lindsay.lou · July 2010

*Abby*:

Ooh! I think that you are totally right, too! IMO, part of the BM's job is to make it as easy as possible for the bride, not put up a big fuss, go with the flow, etc... I would definitely not have been okay with changing the whole look of the wedding just b/c she wouldn't listen to advice...

THANK YOU. And I had a small wedding party, so it would have looked sooo weird.

I ended up finding a great seamstress that put in a corset back on her dress. So it was "different", technically, but not too noticeable.

owenst · July 2010

lindsay.lou:
I got all heated typing out my flaming. I'm mad all over again now!
I'm sure I've also had more "mild" flamings, but I've been on the Knot/Nest/Bump since 2006...so I don't remember them all.
The one I mentioned is the Big One.

I agree with you....so what did you do?

tamhen1979 · July 2010

When I first started posting on TTGP I posted a question about ttc when you have a mild YI. My first response was from some chic who was going off about how I should not be ttc and should see a doctor and get healthy before I ttc that I was crazy for ttc- I mean she was going nuts. I did a no-no and DD before anyone had time to read it because I didn't want to be flamed. Now that i think about it that chic was stupid and my question was normal. YI are just a part of some peoples lives and are not the end of the world.

nan517 · July 2010

lindsay.lou:

The one that sticks out in my head actually happened on the Knot, when I was planning my wedding. I got flamed soooo bad, BUT I STILL THINK I WAS RIGHT.

I was biitching b/c one of my bridesmaids (who is CLEARLY at least a size 6) ordered her BM dress in a size 2. The lady at the boutique told all my BMs that it's MUCH easier to take a dress in, rather than out, so they should order a size up to be safe.

But nooooo....my one BM insisted on ordering 2 sizes DOWN. (She wasn't planning to lose weight...she was irrationally insisting that she WAS a size 2).

She tells me less than a week before my wedding that the dress is nowhere even close to zipping up in the back (she's had the dress in her possession for months now and never mentioned it not fitting). These dresses were handmade by the designer, she couldn't simply "rush order" a bigger size.

You are totally right!!! BM's should be helpful to YOU, not the other way around. And did she forget whose day it was? Cause I'm pretty sure it was your wedding day, not hers. That was completely her fault for not listening to the advice given to her and by ordering a size she clearly would not fit in. What a moron! You definitely shouldn't have gotten flamed for that!

dandyelle · July 2010

lindsay.lou:

The one that sticks out in my head actually happened on the Knot, when I was planning my wedding. I got flamed soooo bad, BUT I STILL THINK I WAS RIGHT.

I was biitching b/c one of my bridesmaids (who is CLEARLY at least a size 6) ordered her BM dress in a size 2. The lady at the boutique told all my BMs that it's MUCH easier to take a dress in, rather than out, so they should order a size up to be safe.

But nooooo....my one BM insisted on ordering 2 sizes DOWN. (She wasn't planning to lose weight...she was irrationally insisting that she WAS a size 2).

She tells me less than a week before my wedding that the dress is nowhere even close to zipping up in the back (she's had the dress in her possession for months now and never mentioned it not fitting). These dresses were handmade by the designer, she couldn't simply "rush order" a bigger size.

So I asked on the Knot for suggestions on what to do (and of course to vent about the whole situation). And people were like:

"Have her to go Macy's and just pick out a similar dress"

"Just tell her to wear whatever she's comfortable in..."

"Don't embarass her, she's probably already humiliated that it doesn't fit, just let her wear a sweater or something over it to cover the back.

I was PISSED! She was WARNED to order a size up. She refused. Now I'm supposed to let her go pick out her own separate dress to wear?? Ummm...noooooo.

But I got flamed and called a brat. There was one poster who flamed me good in that post and now she's on the Bump and I STILL hate her for it.

(I haven't spoken to the BM in question since my wedding day, but not because of this situation.

YOU were right. Your BM was a beast. What really gets me is that it's not like it's a bad thing to be a size 6! It seems like the silliest hang-up ever!

And you know those Knot brats that flamed you would have been just as mad if it happened to them. Would they have let their BM "wear a sweater"? I'm thinking no.

LnR70707 · July 2010

I don't think I've ever been truly flamed. When I first joined the Knot I was told a post about choosing BMs was ridiculous, but that is about it.

lindsay.lou · July 2010

dandyelle:

What really gets me is that it's not like it's a bad thing to be a size 6! It seems like the silliest hang-up ever!

I made that argument, too!

Everyone kept posting that I was "basically calling her fat" by making a big deal about it.

I was like "She's a SIZE SIX!!"

KristysRedBarn · July 2010

I got flamed when I asked how much money we should be setting aside for medical issues since Dh doesn't have medical insurance, he only has a catastrophe type plan. They told me we were all kinds of irresponsible since I didn't know where to come up with an extra $700/month to buy him health insurance.

The new job he took will get him health insurance in a couple more months.

shouldbworkin · July 2010

I can't even mention, they were such bad noob mistakes. Embarrassed

BabyTrippin · July 2010

I've not been flamed here (yet probably...I can be ditzy LOL!). But years ago I got flamed up one side and down the other on a dog board. I made the comment that I'd rather see a dog eating Ol Roy and being loved than see it languishing in a shelter on death row. Apparently dogs should only be eating raw diets that are "species appropriate" and anything less is pure torture for the dog.

dandyelle · July 2010

KristysRedBarn:

I got flamed when I asked how much money we should be setting aside for medical issues since Dh doesn't have medical insurance, he only has a catastrophe type plan. They told me we were all kinds of irresponsible since I didn't know where to come up with an extra $700/month to buy him health insurance.

The new job he took will get him health insurance in a couple more months.

That seems like a totally responsible question to me! I was appreciating the fact that you a) had catastrophic coverage and b) were responsible enough to know to budget more for savings "just in case."

Being without health insurance is scary enough WITHOUT a pack of uppity twits yelling at you. I'm really glad all of them have been lucky enough to have jobs or spouses that offer coverage, but it's not that way for everyone.

And I'm glad he'll be able to sign up for a plan now!

willamina28 · July 2010

kellbranc:
I got semi-flamed when I 1st started on the TTC board. I didn't lurk (I didn't know you were "supposed to" lurk) and starting firing questions off like gunshots.... that was not appreciated and they kind of made fun of me. Looking back I cringe that I did that

I was on the TTGP board for a few months prior to my BFP. when I went over to 1st Tri I missed my conversations with the TTCP girls and the "relationships" I built. So I went over to TTGP and posted a "hi I miss you post". I truly meant it just to say "hi"...not to rub in the girls faces I was pregnant and they were TTGP.... I used to see girls that were KU there all of the time. Well I got flamed to the high heavens. Some girls stuck up for me and said that I was an innocent nice girl....but I got flamed just the same! I really and truly just wanted to say "hi".

I witnessed this one, sometimes things gets their panties in a bunch for stupid things, it was a totally innocent post.

MCH77 · July 2010

I was semi-flamed on TTC for my BFP.

I had been on the board for about 3 months. I posted 1 or 2 a day, so over 130 posts. I was not a regualar, but not a drive-by (well I didn't think so). And I got my BFP. I thanked the ladies for the info and answering my questions. Some ladies had their panties in a bunch that I was PG and they weren't, others really appreciated the thank you. Created a huge debate amongst the ladies.

Funny thing was 3 post later they were giving a new girl advice... lurk, lurk, lurk. Yeah, lurk... just don't thank them if you are pg before them.

I have thought about going over there and letting them know that I had a m/c... thought some of them might be happy about that.

MCH77 · July 2010

lindsay.lou:

The one that sticks out in my head actually happened on the Knot, when I was planning my wedding. I got flamed soooo bad, BUT I STILL THINK I WAS RIGHT.

I was biitching b/c one of my bridesmaids (who is CLEARLY at least a size 6) ordered her BM dress in a size 2. The lady at the boutique told all my BMs that it's MUCH easier to take a dress in, rather than out, so they should order a size up to be safe.

But nooooo....my one BM insisted on ordering 2 sizes DOWN. (She wasn't planning to lose weight...she was irrationally insisting that she WAS a size 2).

She tells me less than a week before my wedding that the dress is nowhere even close to zipping up in the back (she's had the dress in her possession for months now and never mentioned it not fitting). These dresses were handmade by the designer, she couldn't simply "rush order" a bigger size.

So I asked on the Knot for suggestions on what to do (and of course to vent about the whole situation). And people were like:

"Have her to go Macy's and just pick out a similar dress"

"Just tell her to wear whatever she's comfortable in..."

"Don't embarass her, she's probably already humiliated that it doesn't fit, just let her wear a sweater or something over it to cover the back.

I was PISSED! She was WARNED to order a size up. She refused. Now I'm supposed to let her go pick out her own separate dress to wear?? Ummm...noooooo.

But I got flamed and called a brat. There was one poster who flamed me good in that post and now she's on the Bump and I STILL hate her for it.

(I haven't spoken to the BM in question since my wedding day, but not because of this situation.

I will back you on this one. It would piss me off.

superluper · July 2010

BabyTrippin:
I've not been flamed here (yet probably...I can be ditzy LOL!). But years ago I got flamed up one side and down the other on a dog board. I made the comment that I'd rather see a dog eating Ol Roy and being loved than see it languishing in a shelter on death row. Apparently dogs should only be eating raw diets that are "species appropriate" and anything less is pure torture for the dog.

I totally agree with you and I've been flamed on the nest pets board because I (GASP) feed my dog the Costco brand lamb dog food. I'm sorry but he is doing really well on it and he is taken care of, taken to the vet, and loved.

circe811 · July 2010

I don't remember all of the specific details but I got flamed once on TTGP because I posted in a thread where one member paged another. They were talking back and forth for awhile and I corrected something someone said and they jumped on me for correcting them in "their: thread. (I really wish i could remember what it was about...) Anyways, I was really taken aback but apologized for the intrusion...and then a bunch of other ladies from TTGP saw the post and called the original posters out on their rudeness and I felt better. LoL.

RaineFaye · July 2010

BabyTrippin:
I've not been flamed here (yet probably...I can be ditzy LOL!). But years ago I got flamed up one side and down the other on a dog board. I made the comment that I'd rather see a dog eating Ol Roy and being loved than see it languishing in a shelter on death row. Apparently dogs should only be eating raw diets that are "species appropriate" and anything less is pure torture for the dog.

I'm with you 100%. In college I was in charge of intake for a selective intake ("no kill") foster group. My job was to go to these tiny high-kill shelters and choose dogs to pull for our foster homes. They would show me whose time was up, and I'd have to pick. Every time there were dozens of healthy, well-mannered, often pure-bred dogs that died for no reason except that there are not enough homes to go around. I would have given anything to give them a chance in a place that fed 'Ol Roy but loved them.

triple_sevens · July 2010

I've never been flamed (or not yet, anyway!). I would think about 8 times before I posted on GP (as it was then) because I was so scared of those girls! I sort of overshared as a newbie and got the side-eye and sometimes made posts that no one responded to, but no flamings.

Things here always just felt really easy to me. This is the first board where I felt totally at home.

carrielb12 · July 2010

willamina28:
kellbranc:

I got semi-flamed when I 1st started on the TTC board. I didn't lurk (I didn't know you were "supposed to" lurk) and starting firing questions off like gunshots.... that was not appreciated and they kind of made fun of me. Looking back I cringe that I did that

I was on the TTGP board for a few months prior to my BFP. when I went over to 1st Tri I missed my conversations with the TTCP girls and the "relationships" I built. So I went over to TTGP and posted a "hi I miss you post". I truly meant it just to say "hi"...not to rub in the girls faces I was pregnant and they were TTGP.... I used to see girls that were KU there all of the time. Well I got flamed to the high heavens. Some girls stuck up for me and said that I was an innocent nice girl....but I got flamed just the same! I really and truly just wanted to say "hi".

I witnessed this one, sometimes things gets their panties in a bunch for stupid things, it was a totally innocent post.

Yea, I remember this one too. very innocent.

carrielb12 · July 2010

MCH77:

I was semi-flamed on TTC for my BFP.

I had been on the board for about 3 months. I posted 1 or 2 a day, so over 130 posts. I was not a regualar, but not a drive-by (well I didn't think so). And I got my BFP. I thanked the ladies for the info and answering my questions. Some ladies had their panties in a bunch that I was PG and they weren't, others really appreciated the thank you. Created a huge debate amongst the ladies.

Funny thing was 3 post later they were giving a new girl advice... lurk, lurk, lurk. Yeah, lurk... just don't thank them if you are pg before them.

I have thought about going over there and letting them know that I had a m/c... thought some of them might be happy about that.

Yea, me too. I got flammed once but I really don't remember what it was about. Newbie questions I'm sure.

jolieandscott · July 2010

This is my biggest fear! I wouldn't know if I've been flamed. I rarely go back and read threads I gave advice on or even where I just commented. I think I've "toed the line" but this is my first foray into chat boards, so you never know.

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