Devestated

s5m9j · July 2010

My BFP was on June 6, which was also the day my nephew was born. DH and I were so excited that our baby would have a cousin so close in age! Around 5 weeks I started bleeding and went to the ER, everything looked okay and they told me that it was a threatened abortion but with my cervix still being closed I had a chance of carrying the baby to term.

I then went into my OBs office and had an ultrasound the next week and baby looked great. The heartbeat was strong and it looked like normal growth. Again, I went in the following week and the baby looked fantastic! DH and I thought we were past the miscarriage state because everything looked good and w had a strong heart beat.

The following week we told our parents / grandparents / siblings that we were expecting (This was around week 8). Everyone was over joyed and DH and I actually went out and bought a few gender neutral baby items.

We thought everything was going smoothly until this past Tuesday. I started having some cramping but they weren't too severe. I thought it could be normal with everything my body was going through at this point. Wednesday morning I woke up and the cramps were a little more severe but still not too bad. I went through my normal work day and everything was fine. Wednesday night I went to bed and the cramping was getting worse. It was actually contractions and by 10pm the contractions were about 5 minutes apart. I went into the bathroom and had a big gush of blood. Then the contractions got closer together and more severe. I finally woke my husband up and he took me into the ER.

The ER visit went okay, they did a pelvic exam and gave me another shot of Rhogam. The doctor told me that with the amount of blood I had lost I would most likely miscarry.

Thursday comes around and the cramping isn't too bad when I wake up, I call my OB office and they order an ultrasound. I went into the hospital for the ultrasound because my OB's office didn't have an openings for Thursday or Friday. Of course the sonographer can't give you any information so I had to wait for the doctors office to call.

Around 5pm Thursday I finally got the telephone call from my OB's office. The nurse asked if the doctor had called yet and I told her he had not. She then went and talked to the doctor and he had just received my results. The ultrasound showed that I had already passed the tissue and there was no baby left in the sac. She also said that I have a cyst on one of my ovaries. Starting this Tuesday I have to go in weekly until my beta levels reach zero again.

The news hit me very hard, I don't think I have ever cried that much in my life. I know it's out of my control but I am so devestated. DH is very supportive but I think it's different when you were actually the one carrying the child. I know we are going to have a long road ahead of us but like DH said..... God did not think we were ready to be parents right now and that our chance would come down the road.

millejj1 · July 2010

I'm so sorry for your loss and glad you found your way here.

kpowersw · July 2010

I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope spending time on this board helps, it has for me. (((HUGS)))

jerriesgirl · July 2010

I'm so sorry for your loss. (((hugs))

BlakeG · July 2010

I am so sorry for your loss. I know it is a long road but I hope you can find some comfort here. This board got/gets me through my toughest days. T&Ps.

starrynyt · July 2010

I am so very sorry for your loss. It must be so hard since you were feeling reassured that everything was okay. My T&P are with you and your family.

pennynjon · July 2010

I am so sorry for your loss. ((hugs))

daisy142 · July 2010

I am so sorry for your loss and I hope you will find strength and comfort here.

Renee22577 · July 2010

Having a m/c is NEVER an easy thing to go through. Thank you for sharing your story. I hope you find some comfort and reassurance here. Take care

tlcW0714 · July 2010

I'm so sorry for your loss. My T&P's are with you and your family. ((hugs))

anonomity · July 2010

I'm so sorry for your loss. I know its no consolation, but DH and I kept reminding ourselves that there was probably something seriously wrong with our baby, and that God took him/her from us so that he/she would never have to suffer here on earth. All our babies ever knew was love, and now they are in heaven looking down on us. I hope you are able to find some comfort soon. ((hugs))