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Infertility
She did not pick us.
Hi Everyone. Sorry I haven't been around, we were out of town over the weekend for the second "interview". She did not pick us. Our attorney called us Monday night not too long after we got home and told us the news. Of course I bawled. That night and yesterday morning were not good. But the more I think about it, the more I agree with the attorney that we may have dodged a bullet. She thinks the likely hood of the girl actually going through with the placement is only about 85%.
And after talking about it, DH and I think she is a user and maybe even a con. We took her & her family out to see fireworks on the 4th. Then, we asked her if she wanted to have breakfast with us Monday morning and she said yes. We said that she could invite her mom if she wanted to (so we could get to know her better). Then when I spoke with her on the phone she asked if her boyfriend could come. Oooook. Yea I guess. then when we get there, her brother comes out to the car too. We go and spend $100 bucks at IHOP. And we are very sure that she knew she wasnt going to pick us when we went to breakfast, since she told the other couple she picked them shortly after she got home from going with us. They brought her groceries and she told them when they were at her house. Yea, they totally bought her. She gets $700 in foodstamps but you went and bought her groceries??
We are not stupid, we knew there was a possibility something like this would happen. No biggie. It's just sad how pathetic some people are. But really, what else could we expect from her or her family????? Regardless, it was a learning experience and now we know more of what we are and are not open/willing to do when it comes to initially meeting a birth mother. We will be telling our attorney that we are not interested in any long drawn out interview processes.
I didn't realize it at first, but it's not the end of the world. Sure, I'm sad that we have, yet again, more wait to be parents. But I know it's in God's timing. Now we are about to complete our application to the new agency and will hopefully get it in the mail by tomorrow.
Thanks for all the thoughts, prayers & well wishes. Please remember us as we continue down this path to success after infertility.
I tried to catch up on posts, just glancing through. Doesn't seem that I missed much, but {{{HUGS}}} to everyone.
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Re: She did not pick us.
3 IUI's, 2 IVF's , 1 FET , 1 IVF w/ Gestational Carrier, and 1 FET using adopted embryo's = ALL BFNs
We are adopting!
SAIF/PAIF IS ALWAYS WELCOMED TO POST IN MY POSTS!!!
I am so sorry that it did not work out this time hon. I'm praying that the right match comes along to you very soon.
(((((hugs)))))
Unexplained Infertility
After two Clomid cycles, three injectable IUI cycles, two IVFs, two miscarriages, and one lap surgery, IVF #2 has brought us our little boy!
TTC #2
After months of being postponed or cancelled, FET #1.3 (Natural FET) brought us twin girls!
I agree with everyone too.
I am so sorry you didnt get picked. But I am happy that you have thought about it, learned from this experience and know whaty ou are looking for going forward.
Lots of luck.
and ::hugs:: too.
TTC #2 since June '08
~*DD 10.21.07*~
dx unexplained
IUI #1-4 BFN
IVF#1 June 2011 BFN
IVF#2 Dec 2011
Beta#1 12/21 : 812 Beta#2 12/23 : 1634
EDD 8/25
*PAIFW/SAIFW*
I'm so sorry this didn't work out. Intuition is powerful though, and almost always right. You might have had more heartache down the road.
Best wishes with the new agency.
I'm sorry cutie but it sounds like your attorney is right.
((HUGS))
Praying you get a placement very soon.
Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles, It empties today of its strength. ~Corrie ten Boom
Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow. ~Mary Anne Radmacher (thank you beadinglady)
It's been a long journey. TTC since 9/06. multiple IUI's and IVF's and 4 m/c's. IVF#3 = BFP, twins, induced at 34w6d due to baby b passing away (no explanation). Delivered on 35w1d, Baby A - baby girl, and Baby B - baby boy, our little angel.
MTHFR A1298C & C677T, Immune Issues and Factor II
I admire your whole attitude about the whole situation. It has to be hard getting your hopes up and then being let down. I am sure the right match will come along. Adoption seems just as much of an emotional rollercoaster as IF. But the hard part is that you don't have much control in the situation.
I want to wish you good luck with your journey.
(((hugs)))
DX: Premature ovarian failure
::::SAIFW::::: People call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat or a prostitute. - Rebecca West
WE'VE BEEN MATCHED WITH A SWEET LITTLE BOY!! -4/5/11
I am sorry this didn?t work out for you. As it sounds I really think it?s for the best. I can?t believe you Ihop experience I can?t imagine how disappointing it must feel. I am praying that the right match will come real soon for you guys! ((hugs))
Dx: PCOS, Anovulatory, Amenorrhea 2006
TTC: Sept 2008
IVF#1 Cancelled due to breast biopsy.05/01/20
IVF#1.2- 9/2010 - Cancelled Oversurpressed
IVF#2 Microdose Lupron 10/2010 Beta 11/09=BFN
IVF#3 2/2011 - 2 blasts(2/25) Beta 03/11 =BFN
IVF#4 Lupron 01/02 =2 blasts, beta's 1-4 198,234,398,3100!!BFP
FET 3/2014 2 blasts BETA 3/20=BFP TWINS EDD 11/27 TEAM PINK!!!
TTC in 2008. Stage II/III endo, Hashimotos hypothyroid, low morph (3%).
2 cycles Clomid/Ovidrel/TI/Crinone=BFN.
IUI #1 - 4 Follistim/Ovidrel/IUI/Crinone = BFN.
IVF #1 - Antagonist w/ ICSI 4/10. 17 retrieved, 5DT of 2, BFN
IVF #2 - Long Lupron w/ ICSI 6/10. 15 retrieved, 3DT of 2, BFFN!!
Lap 7/21/10
IVF #3 - Clomid/Antagonist w/ ICSI 10/10. 14 retreived, 3DT of 3, BFP 10/20 but m/c. No HB 11/15/10 - D&C 11/17/10.
FET - 2 blasts, 1 survived the thaw. Transfer 2/19. Beta #1 3/1 375, Beta #2 3/3 885, Beta #3 3/8 4261, Beta #4 3/11 9005. U/S 3/8 1 sac 1 yolk, U/S 3/16 1 heartbeat 114bpm!
James born Oct. 24th 2011 via c-section at 38 weeks!
Surprise BFP - Jack born April 28, 2013 via VBAC after PTL at 33 1/2 weeks!
I already told you this, sweetie, but I'm so sorry had to go through that.
Although I do agree..stuff sounds shady.
Such a sad situation.
TI, IUIs, IVF = c/ps and BFNs
I am so sorry that you were not picked and you had to go through this ordeal.
((hugs))
I'm so sorry
It sounds like there are better things ahead and that you did dodge a bullet.
Good luck!
7lbs 13oz 20 inches long
I am so sorry that this happened, I always remember the scene in sex in the city when Charlotte and Harry are going through the adoption process, and the birth mother doesn't pick them, Charlotte is so upset and Harry comforts her by saying, 'it just wasn't meant to be, it wasn't our baby.'
I hope your dreams come true soon!
TTC since August 2008
IVF#1: BFFN; IVF#2: BFN; FET with new RE: BFN
IVF#3: ER 1/15; ET 1/20; Beta#1 1/29: 339!
Twins girls born via c/s at 37w/3d!!
"Let it go, this too shall pass."
Hugs-Im so sorry, but I agree that you probably dodged a bullet.
I am so sorry that this match didn't work out. ((Hugs)).
I hope that the right match for you and YH is right around the corner.
i'm so sorry.
((hugs))
i hope your LO arrives very soon!
After two losses, third time was a charm.
pm me for blog link
BFP #3 via cancelled IUI ~ C (2lb 3oz; HELLP) 5/16/11
BFP #4 via the natural (free!) way ~ E (8lb 11oz) 9/13/12
I'm sorry that this didn't work out for you. From the sound of it, you may have been spared bigger heartache if she is just going to string the chosen couple along and not end up placing the baby with them. I hope next time the BM loves you both instantly and she chooses you! (((hugs)))
Currently pg with our 1st after 6.5 yrs of IF (thank you IVF)
My IF/Everything Blog
There's No Crying in Baseball
***My posts are always SAIFW**
I'm sorry you have to wait longer and didn't get picked. It's horrible that there are people out there that would do that. So sad too.
Good luck with your new agency. Keep us updated