Slipping away... Sommer, plz post positive!

JMay · July 2010

Like water running through my fingers, I feel my chances of #2 slipping away with every day that passes. Sommer, I'm really in need of a positive thought, if you're in the mood to post!!!

Sad

sommerrayne · July 2010

Friend!

I know that nothing I can say, although I try, will lift that burden. I DO understand how you feel. I also know it seems like when someone gets PG on here, they instantly move to the "you don't really get it" category if even in our very very subconcious. But I do get it.

This is a horrible process. It steals from your spirit, it lies to your soul, it gives you false hope only to be dashed in a single emotion-less phone call....But it give you something too believe it or not. It gives you the ability (unlike a lot of people) to CHERISH every single day with our children. It gives you this "level" of love that I don't think every parent gets to have or experience. I'm not saying it makes us BETTER parents because I could never say that but what I'm saying is....its like someone who's nerve endings are crazy sensitive - they literally FEEL more.

The "raw" that is inflicted upon us in this process is also a weird benefit of helping us feel every part of every range of every emotion and experience.

I know you're going all natro and I think that's a great option (and have you talked to Alchris about it? She did that too). But if at anytime you feel "this" isn't working for you - don't feel because you've professed one selection of direction that you can't march right back up that damned path and turn a different corner.

HUGS GIRL!

LuckyH · July 2010

I'm so sorry your feeling down. Sommer said it so well that I shouldn't even try.

I know how you're feeling and there's nothing anyone could say or do to make it better. It's just a matter of moving forward however you need to.

Hang in there. (((HUGS)))

JMay · July 2010

You bring tears to my eyes, because I know you DO get it. Thank you so much for your posts, they mean a lot to me. Your positivity lifts me up for sure!

Smile

sommerrayne · July 2010

Every single day, and maybe some don't believe this but its true, I try to remember to be ultra THANKFUL for IF as well. It has honestly made me a much more patient, kind, compassionate, AWARE, vibrant, excited mama. Even when I feel sorry for myself I try to make a concerted effort to REALLY REALLY be centered in who I WANT to be, not who I allow myself to be in the face of anger, resentment, pain, and fear (and even in PG there's sh!t to feel sorry for yourself about - diff in age not being what you wanted when you see all of these kids at the playground being the "perfect" diff in age, etc).

Its amazing who we can "become" if we allow those negative emotions rule over us. I'm not saying that it takes "strength", I'm saying it takes awareness and then there's a point (which I've touched on several times in the past few months) where it just has an end point on certain paths for certain people. I was (and still am in my head believe it or not) at that end point. It was really cathartic to give myself PERMISSION to have a "D-DATE" where if it didn't happen by then I COULD throw in the towel OR choose another direction. Nothing in stone, just the permission really helped lift pressure for me.

I'm sending sooooooooooooooooo much love your way. I know we don't know eachother in real life and after all this is still just the internet but I'll be praying, sending clear mind and positive healthy thoughts and vibes your way. You are on my heart Jmay!

hoping4more · July 2010

I just want to send hugs your way.. i'm right there with you

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Slipping away... Sommer, plz post positive!

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