What do you say to strangers?

Puppins · July 2010

Obviously we aren't telling anyone we are pg yet, but when strangers start to notice what do you say to them when they say "Oh is this your first?"

I feel like saying yes is like cheating on the 3 babies I carried for 5 months. But saying no is like opening a can of worms... How did you deal with it?

madladybride · July 2010

I'm not sure. I may say something like, "this is my 3rd pregnancy, but we have no children." I like to say things that give people pause...

vflipo · July 2010

Unless I'm talking to a medical professional or a close friend, I plan to say "yes it is" just to avoid awkward conversation with strangers. I'm not ashamed or embarrassed about our losses, and I would love to tell everyone, but some people just don't care. I'd rather avoid rude comments or awkward looks from people I don't even know.

But this is all in theory as I haven't had anyone ask aside from my new doctor... and the nurses when I had my D&C.

BAM_2780 · July 2010

I say it is my first to a stranger. I know they don't mean any harm and are just being friendly. I think they'd be uncomfortable if I said no, my first baby is in heaven. And I wouldn't want to it with them. Anyone who knows me knows we lost our first baby so they don't ask things like that. And I obviously tell any nurse/doctor who asks that this is not my first. It's hard and I do feel a little guilty, but I know in my heart the truth and saying this is my first does not make me love Owen any less. Good luck! I think it's a really personal decision. Whatever you decide is right for you.

lax15bsu · July 2010

I always say, "well, this is my fourth pregnancy and hopefully our first child." I have no qualms with discussing our losses with strangers. If they wanted a simple yes or no answer, too bad for them - they asked and this is the honest answer for me.

NicksChick23 · July 2010

To random strangers I usually say, "We're hoping this is our first take-home baby." (Unless they're being snarky then I'll tell them about the other ones.) Most people just smile or are distracted by the phrase and don't ask anything more about it. I'm very open about out losses but am just not a big talker around people I don't know.

Sonadora · July 2010

I say "2nd pregnancy, hopefully our first child." And then I walk away.

sydney0928 · July 2010

If I get asked in a room full of people, like in a meeting, I usually nod and make it clear I don't want to talk about it. If it's one-on-one, I tell people the whole story. I'm not ashamed of it, it's just awkward when there's 10 people staring at me you know? But I've gotten lots better about being able to share our story without getting upset or making people feel bad for asking.

lisamarie_04 · July 2010

I plan to say, "No, this is my second. I have a son who passed away last year when I was 36 weeks pregnant." I'm at the point now where I can talk about him without tearing up and I don't care if I make someone else feel awkward.

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