- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Parenting
MayorMcCheese000
member
This is flameful probably but help me understand
MayorMcCheese000
member
in Parenting
On 9-12 months there is a post asking SAHM's if their house is clean and the majority of the posters are all "hell no, I can't keep up with the kids AND clean the house!" I just don't get that...I work FT and I am able to keep my house clean.......it's really not that hard. I def. understand new moms or when there is a brand new baby because that takes some time to adjust, but if you have an almost 1 year old and you are home all day, you should have time to clean your house. (I guess this also applies to moms who say they have no time to shower or peel off their sweatpants and put on jeans.) I mean seriously, Jane naps 3-4 hours out of the day, I feel like I have plenty of time to take care of business.
Warning
No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
This discussion has been closed.
Re: This is flameful probably but help me understand
I have TIME to clean my house, but my two kids follow behind me in a whirlwind and mess it right back up. It's not like my house is filthy, but looks pretty messy a lot of the time. I just pick up at the end of the day or shove it all in a corner for the next day so I can get some quality time with my DH. Then the next day is rinse and repeat. And newly mobile babies can't just be left to play on their own while you clean. They need constant supervision and that's hardly conducive to a good cleaning.
My house was SO clean when I worked...because no one was there all day using dishes, pulling toys off shelves, washing their hands every hour, etc etc.
It's all relative, honestly.
People, all people, have different stress/tolerance levels. I mean, me, for example...I have a HUGE issue with vacuumming when my kids are home. I manage to do just about everything else, but that. I can't stand doing it with them here as I do NOT like being interrupted. It's one of my OCD things (I say that tongue in cheek....I'm not clinically diagnosed). Once I start, I have a pattern/routine and I do NOT like to be stopped. So I avoid that one chore until Joe is home to watch them.
In addition, LIVING in your house all day is SO totally different than working FT. Trust me, I've done both. Actually, when I worked FT, my MIL/mom watched the kids here. So my house was trashed all day long AND I was at work. But keeping up with a house that is OCCUPIED versus one that isn't are two totally different things.
Lastly, I find (personally) that the busier I am, the more I get accomplished. I am basically the equivalent of a fat slug right now. I do NOTHING all day, every day. Add in a job and I guarantee you that the engine will start burning and I will think back on this last year and wonder "Why the hell didn't you have time to do XYZ? You were doing NOTHING!" But when you are in it, it's not NOTHING.
Hope that made sense.
Meh. Everyone has different priorities.
Maybe they like to sit down and take a breather when their kids nap. Or maybe that's when they shower or whatever.
That said, I have 2 boys, 3.5 and 2, and I was going crazy trying to clean my house. When you are in and out all day, your house gets messy AND dirty.
If my kids were gone all day, as was I, then I'd have significantly less to clean.
Me with my littlest.
Do you hire someone to watch your children, or just leave them to play on their own? Do you think the person you hire should be cleaning a house instead of watching your children? Maybe your lovely Jane naps 3-4 hours a day, but I have two kids, one who naps for 45 minutes and one who naps for 0 minutes. They get up at 6 and seldom does the last one fall asleep until 9. Yes, my house is generally clean, I have a housekeeper and am neat by nature. Your post is just stupid though. Some of us actually interact with our children and let them do messy things most of the time rather than spending our children's childhood making sure our homes look like Martha S. lives there.
Oh, and if my kids were not in my house all day, it would not be hard to keep clean.
Not all LOs sleep 3-4 hours per day
I'm still able to keep my house clean, but it is harder when we are home all day making a then say on days where we are gone all day. It helps that I always stay on top of laundry and dishes. Then I try to do 1-2 other things per day (i.e. clean bathrooms, reorganize, etc) and DH vacuums.
So I can see how sometimes it might be easier for working parents (who don't have kids at home during the day) to keep the house clean. Not saying that it's always the case, but if nobody is home then there aren't dishes used, messes made with toys, play-doh, art projects, etc.
Ditto on the 'if you're not home to mess the place up, you have a lot less to clean'. If we were away from the house 8-10 hours a day and not eating all meals and snacks here, this place would be immaculate.
DS - December 2006
DD - December 2008
I LOVE when people get defensive about this...
bottom line, if it is important to you (general you), you would clean it. I am just lazy and would rather NOT clean. And I can tell you that I do not, in any way shape or form, interact with my children for the 16 hours a day that I am awake with them. Not even close. And I will doubt anyone on this board that tells me they do spend even 10 hours a day interacting with their children.
Well for me, it's about a few things.
1 - I hate to clean. So it's not really my #1 priority. It's more like my #1 punishment in life.
2 - One of the big differences between SAH vs. WOH is that theoretically a child(ren) is around the house a good portion of the day, thus making a larger mess or making more messes that are more difficult to clean up. For example, when Jackson went to my MIL's one day a week, my house was always clean on that day because he wasn't there.
3 - MH and I split the household duties like cleaning, so I don't feel particularly compelled to do a ton of cleaning throughout the day. We usually tag team it on evenings/weekends. I do pick up after our messes, do laundry and wash dishes, but as far as actual cleaning - nope.
4 - Jackson doesn't nap anymore, sadly. And honestly even if he did, I would use that time to read, shop online or watch TV. Cleaning sucks monkey nuts.
It's a tad on the funny side that a WOTH mom says it's easy for SAHM's to keep their house clean.
Me with my littlest.
Sure, I have time to clean my house. I don't always have the opportunity. I have a small child - who is awake about 14 hours straight every day - following me around every minute of the day.
In the end, a spotless house isn't my priority right now. It's passable, but there are definitely days when a friend wants to drop by and I have to say "give me 20 minutes to straighten up."
The only time either me or DH is not at home is Wed Thurs and Fri from 12-5 so our house is not sitting vacant all day.
I'm not really talking about houses not being immaculate or whatever because that is ridic. I just don't get that mentality that it is IMPOSSIBLE to keep a house clean when you have kids. If you decide to take a nap or play on the internet when the kids sleep that is certainly your choice but you are also choosing not to clean, it's not that you don't have the time, you are just choosing to do other things with it right?
Personally, I don't clean AND I ignore Jackson as much as possible.
I've got priorities, yo. They include reading and shopping online. Not playing Batman.
Yes, you are absolutely right. It's not impossible, but I wasn't interested in cleaning my house at 9 pm, after dinner was cleaned up and the kids were bathed and put to bed.
Which is, frankly, normal.
I need down time.
This morning my kids got up and went all day long, no nap for either of them, and I am beat. I'm not cleaning my house now.
I'm going to go work out in a bit, so that's what I'm doing with my free time since MH is home "early" for a change.
I have a housekeeper. I'd rather have her than anything else in the world.
But, no, not impossible.
Me with my littlest.
Yowzas, based on the defensiveness of this post I am now picturing you lounging on a mountain of garbage in your sweatpants and hair scrunchie.
No one's saying it's IMPOSSIBLE or that they dont have time to clean. Maybe you should re-read?
generally I'm too lazy to clean lol
but if you work outside the home then most likely your kids are not home either to mess up the house like kids of sahms
My house is even more messy now that my older girls are out of school for the summer.
E - I so love when we are on the same page!
Aw, come on. Hair scrunchie? That's just mean!
Me with my littlest.
Well, I have done both (WOTH and SAH) and let me tell you, my house is always clean
When my girls are home, the house is messier but it is always clean.
There is no excuse for having a dirty house, regardless if you work or not. It isn't healthy. If you can't keep it clean- hire someone to do. Not a big deal if its messy.
Maybe people are confusing clean and messy?
em- I'm glad you are here, I have been meaning to ask you, why are you always on the 9-12 mo board? Aren't your kids older?
What? You mean you don't want to use bleach, 409, and mop while being trailed by a 2.5 foot tall shadow that wants to "help"? My little one cries everytime I leave his10 foot proximity and my big one is literally under my foot when ever I turn around. Forget the vacuum. Little one cries like he is being tortured.
Well...for me this is why it's hard; I have a one year old and a three year old. Their naps overlap for about an hour in the afternoon. I usually do a little dinner prep during that time and sit because I find I need a little time to sit and rest without one of them to care for during the 10 hours I'm with them alone during the day. I do try to sort one load of laundry during the day, and I do clean up after us all day long. I also make them lunch and clean up after us. We are often gone all morning and return home for lunch, clean-up, putting three year old down for nap, playing with one year old downstairs (while I might fold laundry), and then putting the baby for a nap. Then I have about an hour, like I said. But, I have to get dinner ready, or pack us up for the pool later. Then the three year old wakes up and wants a snack. Now she will often play independently while I do some chores (or help me) but we have to be relatively quiet for the baby, and I also find it hard to do much heavy duty cleaning in the afternoon when I'm pretty tired. Also I hate to put the three year old in front of the tv to clean for too long if it's something she can't/won't help with and I really need her contained.
I guess all this is to say that maybe a more organized person could get more done, but I feel like I work my a$$ off all day and I don't get much cleaning done. I am working hard to take care of the girls and myself though, I'm not being lazy (not that you said I was, lol...just saying I genuinely do not feel lazy). I clean the kitchen and sweep/vacuum under the table after dinner each night (or DH does it while the other does bath routine with the girls) and I run loads of laundry and do some folding every night. Then we have a cleaning person come once every two weeks or else I'd have to do more on the weekends.
I'm on a lot of boards and 9-12 is just one of them.
I work and never felt like I had time to clean the house. We were spending every weekend cleaning before we got a cleaning service.
I suppose if I was at home I might have *time* to clean. Honestly, I just hate cleaning, so if there's something, anything better to do, I would choose that.
Charlotte Ella 07.16.10
Emmeline Grace 03.27.13
I get this! BTW I hate that I made this to "SAHM's" because it really could apply to any mom. I honestly think it is possible to be a good mom to your kids and have a clean house regardless of if you work or not. That is just my opinion. The OP was addressed to SAHM's and that is just why it was presented that way here. I hate offending people, I'm sorry if I did. I just know some moms IRL that act like being a parent is just SO HARD that there is no time for anything else and I don't get that. I honestly just think they are lazy and making excuses (psa: not talking about anyone here or SAHM's in general!!!!!!!!)
If you could read, you would know that I am a SAHM with a HOUSEKEEPER. So yes, I spend very little time cleaning and my house is very clean, though currently not neat because I had 6 kids over for a 3.5 hour playdate that just left 30 minutes ago after a pizza dinner. I don't own sweat pants and would not be caught dead in them.
I have time to clean my house, but when my kid is around, it is far from a priority to me. I want to play with him & enjoy who he is, period.
We don't live in anything close to squalor; I can have people over without spending more than 20 minutes before they arrive tidying up. But I don't clean during the week & I don't clean w/ my kid around.
LOL you are funny. Lighten up sista!!!!
FWIW, I'm not offended at all.
I freely admit I could probably clean during the day - I just don't want to for a variety of reasons. I thought #1 was that I hate to clean, but really I think #1 is that because my husband happily does half of it in the evenings/weekends, I'd like to keep it that way. No need to up his expectations, LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That would be tragic, honestly.
Ha ha ha ha ha....what about those of us with highly "needy" children who insist on interacting with US all day????? What about those of us who can not dust, swiffer, vacuum, mop....clean a toilet, without 4 additional hands on the dust brush, swiffer, vacuum, mop, toilet bowl cleaner???? I have the greatest of intententions, and it IS important to me, but it's HARD when you have "helpers". And when DS2 naps, DS1 is alllll over me for 1 on 1 time, so that is what we do. When do you propose I get my cleaning in???? And I have a DH who is home way after my kiddos are in bed, so after an entire day doing everything alone, when they are in bed, that is my recharge time and i don't clean. Not b/c it's not important, but b/c I'm exhausted.
To me, MESSY and DIRTY are two totally different things. My house is often messy. Not dirty. I am typically a WOHM - currently a SAHM since I am a teacher and out for the summer.
My house is typically disorganized, but not dirty. If
you called and said you were coming over in 5 minutes, I could clean up
in that time. To me, that is not DIRTY, it is simply messy.
Messy - toys in random places, shoes left out in the floor, disorganized chaos.
Dirty - last week's Happy Meal leftovers sitting on the coffee table, spills left out without wiping them up, piles of old crusty dishes
It is all about priorities and personal preference. Some people like a neater house, some don't mind mess. It is also subjective - my idea of "messy" and "clean" may be different than someone else's.
Mommy to Rachel 1.15.06 and Ashley 5.17.11