SEX - No Lies

yourmom5309 · June 2010

Sex? What is that? I have been so sick (currently prescribed three different medications) that sex, foreplay, kissing, and anything that involves touching has not occurred in almost six weeks. DH has been so understanding but is now starting to feel a bit rejected. We have had numerous talks about how it is not him... I love him... it is me... I am sick. However, I guess a long enough drought can make anyone question whether their spouse finds them attractive or desires them. My husband is precious. I love him and cannot imagine life without him. I just feel awful about the whole situation. How often are y?all having sex?

Please be honest - don?t exaggerate about some alleged Sex Olympics if it was only one random night. However, if you are active, good for you. I genuinely mean that.

CourtneyR2N · June 2010

First trimester and the first part of 2nd tri it was rare. proabably once every coulple of weeks. I was tired and sick and pissy all the time.

Now that I am feeling better 1-2 times a week.

danienross · June 2010

we try to not let it go more than a month without at least trying. it is just so painful for me that i don't let it happen often. and i feel so awkward with this new body that other forms of intimacy aren't happening either. sometimes all hubby wants is to make out and i just can't. you're not alone. i feel guilty too.

ebriddle · June 2010

Meds are nooo fun! About once a week--we're both pretty busy professionally right now, so neither of us are feeling too into it during the week.

slharbi1 · June 2010

To be honest we have only had sex 3 or 4 times since BFP. Mostly because he works nights and I am asleep when he gets home. The other morning I tried to give him a hint but he was sleeping and dead to the world. Hours later he says did I really hear you right this morning? When I told him he was pretty upset.

CelticWife · June 2010

I have been on pelvic rest since 13 weeks, and I was spotting before that. So we haven't had sex since I was 6 weeks pregnant. Poor DH feels very neglected, but he understands. Wow. It has been 13 weeks...

My first pregnancy, we had sex maybe once a week. I had no libido that time at all. (I actually do this time, but can't. Go figure.)

LILBIT1221 · June 2010

No lie, I am in heat. We have seksi time of some form or another 4-5 times a week. I know that will slow down now that I am getting bigger and less comfortable so I am taking all I can get for now.

BB0830 · June 2010

From when I peed on a stick to about 19 or 20 weeks I think we only had sex about 4 times. I was nervous and honestly just didn't feel like getting frisky after just throwing up (which I was doing every couple hours).

Now we have been having sex maybe 3-4 times a week...if we are lucky.

cmeyer76 · June 2010

We've probably done it once or twice a week, some weeks less than that. We are having some timing issues (i.e. I want it mid-afternoon, when he's at work, and by the time he's home, I'm sick again)

srthomas88 · June 2010

My DH and I have some "dry spells" every now and then. Lately it has been more painful for me so we go a little bit longer than normal. We usally try at least 1 to 2 times a week, but that's when I feel well enough to.

faith194 · June 2010

Once since conception. However, I was on pelvic rest from week 7 to week 15, and then didn't know I was off it until week 18(we had sex then, but it wasn't super comfortable for me). My husband has been awesome, even though I know he misses it! He also understands that I don't feel well, and that I still love him no matter what.

cros8380 · June 2010

DH is prepping for a bodybuilding contest which not only means a reduction in his caloric intake, but it also means low energy and low sex drive. This was no suprise to us, since this is the 5th competition he has done since we've been together. He has been prepping for this contest since I got pregnant, so we've averaged about once a week once every other week (on rare occasions). Once the competition is over (mid-August) I assume we will go back to our normal 1-3 times a week. This is all assuming I am still comfortable during sex...until now I've had no issues.

I do have to say that I have agood idea how your DH feels. Since my DH has almost no interest in sex, it does bother me from time to time (although I have to remember that it's his diet, not me)...but I find that when we are intimate in other ways (back rubs, snuggling, random hugs and kisses) it DOES make me feel better. So if you feel up to it, maybe try some other non-sex ways to let him know that you still find him attractive...good luck, and remember, it won't last forever!

TheBuddha · June 2010

3 or 4 times a week BUT that is a recent development. First 14 weeks I think we did it once a week if he was lucky. Then from 14-20ish it increased a little bit more. Currently I feel much better and often am in the mood. However, I used to like the lights on and I've told DH for the time being I am more comfortable with the lights off. Then I realized he doesn't care what the status of the lights are as long as he's getting some!

nrbg116 · June 2010

We try to once or twice in a week (maybe two) but sometimes it doesn't happen. I had horrible m/s for the first 18 weeks and then I had surgery so at 19 weeks. My DH says were going to have to find a different position from now on because he feels like he "swishes" LO. hehe.

yourmom5309 · June 2010

LILBIT1221:
No lie, I am in heat. We have seksi time of some form or another 4-5 times a week. I know that will slow down now that I am getting bigger and less comfortable so I am taking all I can get for now.

I am so jealous!!!! Good for y'all. I agree, take all you can get for now.

sfbetht · June 2010

alreeves:
DH knows that if I say ok, or give him a look, it means now or never, because that feeling comes and goes very quickly these days.

Yes! Exactly!!

emareld2000 · June 2010

normally 4 times a week. no matter how i feel. if i'm sick, we go slow and easy.

I hope you start feeling to where you wanna be romantic again

pitterpatter129 · June 2010

Am I the only one that thinks sex 3-4 times per week is crazy?! I mean, good for you, but we have sex about once a week when I'm NOT pregnant and less since. I don't think we've had sex four times in one week since we first started having sex and maybe our honeymoon. Even babymaking, I'm pretty sure we didn't average four times in one week! For those "doing it" this much, is this just during pregnancy or is this the norm for you? I'm starting to think my husband is a good sport!

I don't think we've had actual sex in three weeks - but I do try to remember to do "other things" for him every once in awhile. Everything hurts or bleeds so I'm not interested. And this fabled increase in discharge I'm hearing about has not happened for me - I'm actually drier than usual, and everywhere too - my boobs are peeling from dry skin! I'm sure poor hubby feels slightly abondoned, but he hasn't uttered a word about it. I think watching me wince just standing up from the RLP makes him think twice about even mentioning sex...

yourmom5309 · June 2010

cros8380:

I do have to say that I have agood idea how your DH feels. Since my DH has almost no interest in sex, it does bother me from time to time (although I have to remember that it's his diet, not me)...but I find that when we are intimate in other ways (back rubs, snuggling, random hugs and kisses) it DOES make me feel better. So if you feel up to it, maybe try some other non-sex ways to let him know that you still find him attractive...good luck, and remember, it won't last forever!

Thanks for putting it in a different perspective. It is great to see it from the other side.

lulu3061 · June 2010

We average about 3-4 times per week but somehow I seem to forget that it doesn't feel very good until we're already in the middle of it...I seriously hope that goes away at some point.

KMueller0613 · June 2010

About once a week, sometimes once every other week. For some reason it is very...painful for me when we have sex, no matter what the position is (sorry if thats tmi).

jess22681 · June 2010

LILBIT1221:
No lie, I am in heat. We have seksi time of some form or another 4-5 times a week. I know that will slow down now that I am getting bigger and less comfortable so I am taking all I can get for now.

This!

Angel5218 · June 2010

Being totally honest dh and I have not dtd since we got the bfp. He was gone on an army trip for the first month (the month I found out) and unfortunately my m/s and constant migraines all but killed my mood. dh is a little uncomfortable with dtd anyway because he thinks he will hurt me or the baby, even though he knows that it wont. That and he knows how sick I have been. I feel horrible but thankfully he has never been the type to want sex a lot so he has been totally cool about it.

MSC03 · June 2010

Once a week. On occasion, it has been twice a week.

I'd really like to get it up to twice a week, but we've been so dang swamped lately that when we get into bed, we crash hard.

torii · June 2010

I think we've had sex twice since the bfp. He initiated both times. I have no interest at all and I feel so bad for him because I'm not normally like this. There's also a part of me that can't get over the fact that I'm having sex when there's a baby inside of me. It's irrational, but I don't know how to fix it.

chickaboo1974 · June 2010

We have had sex three times since I got my BFP- at 5 wk, 13 wk, and 16w. My DH is very understanding, he knows that it is just a temporary thing.

tastyburger · June 2010

for the first trimester, not a whole lot. I was sick, tired, and had a brief early spotting episode that put me on pelvic rest for 4 weeks and made me real nervous. then I had a bartholyn cyst right in my inner labia right by the entrance. That prevented sex for a while.

now that I'm feeling good, I'm horny but sex hurts once we get going. It sucks. A lot. I'd say we try to do it at least 1X per week, plus I usually throw in a BJ or two for him. The last time we started sex I couldn't finish because it hurt so much. I think I have a varicose vein on my vulva. fun.

JDO · June 2010

About once a week, and not usually because I want it but because I can tell he does.

JoannaJes · June 2010

No sex in first tri. Doctor's orders (although I really wasn't in the mood anyway). Now, it's 1-2 times a week.

Kitiara5512 · June 2010

I kinda wish I wasnt interested in sexy time but I am having the opposite trouble. I think I was born with a teenage guy's libido - even before bfp I wanted it every day and was lucky if I got it twice a week. Now its even tougher, we are living with my parents trying to get our house sold so on the rare occasion that DH is interested, my parents are home, and the being quiet thing doesnt work for me. On top of that, he is usually not interested so I am right now going a week or longer in between rounds, and BOBs dont quite cut it either.

Kitiara5512 · June 2010

KRiffe:

Am I the only one that thinks sex 3-4 times per week is crazy?! I mean, good for you, but we have sex about once a week when I'm NOT pregnant and less since. I don't think we've had sex four times in one week since we first started having sex and maybe our honeymoon. Even babymaking, I'm pretty sure we didn't average four times in one week! For those "doing it" this much, is this just during pregnancy or is this the norm for you? I'm starting to think my husband is a good sport!

I don't think we've had actual sex in three weeks - but I do try to remember to do "other things" for him every once in awhile. Everything hurts or bleeds so I'm not interested. And this fabled increase in discharge I'm hearing about has not happened for me - I'm actually drier than usual, and everywhere too - my boobs are peeling from dry skin! I'm sure poor hubby feels slightly abondoned, but he hasn't uttered a word about it. I think watching me wince just standing up from the RLP makes him think twice about even mentioning sex...

I am not drier than normal but things are way tighter so we need some ky or something anyway. The rest of my skin seems to be drying and flaking a bit and I am getting tired of pouring on lotion two or three times a day.

abovewedding · June 2010

We've had sex once since finding out and it was actually really great. I feel bad that we haven't done it more but the thought of it makes me so tired. I'm usually exhausted by the time he gets home from work and I don't feel super attractive right now either. He's wonderfully understanding but hopefully I can get into it more often.

watermellens · June 2010

About once a week if we're lucky but I try not to let it get beyond once every 2 weeks...we've never been huge with numbers even before our BFP. Part of the reason we have sex sometimes is just because I feel like we're not "normal" if we don't more often!!! I mean, I know he'd have sex every day if we could, but it just takes me a little bit more to get in the mood.

OneLove 09 · June 2010

Anywhere between 1-4 times a week. It's very rare that we will go more than a whole week without it. I don't always feel like it, but once we get started it's good and I think it's worth it to do it for him even if I don't really feel like it (unless of course I'm nauseous or something). I know a lot of women will disagree with me on this, but I feel that it's just something I have to do as a wife even if I don't always feel like it.

Now on the other hand, being pg makes things totally different and if you're not having a lot of sex because of your symptoms than I would expect a good husband to deal with it! I would feel bad too, but don't let it bother you too much because it's not your fault. Keep the communication going and try to give him a little something as soon as you feel like you can!

s+d2007 · June 2010

We have 1 time since my BFP around week 13. I had to talk him into it. It was so uncomfortable and I cramped a lot. I would like to, but I just can't. I joke with DH that I'm going to get him some lotion and a dirty movie. He totally understands though.

jessiesnwbrd · June 2010

alreeves:
Once or twice a week. But DH knows that if I say ok, or give him a look, it means now or never, because that feeling comes and goes very quickly these days.

This is where we are at...I make sure we don't go past a week. I don't have any medical reasons (feeling sick/painful), but I just don't darned want it. DH is in such a super mood after, I need to remember that. He was cranky all weekend until I finally gave in. It's like a miracle drug for moodiness

Buggygirl84 · June 2010

2 times per week, but as one pp said, it's a now or never kind of thing because I'm only "in the mood" fleetingly.

Kristi221 · June 2010

2-3 times since the BFP. Once, on our babymoon, it went horribly wrong and I ended up bleeding a lot, which scared DH to death. He seriously thought he killed the baby. ugh...poor guy! We went almost a month after that without any, but I fixed that this weekend. I figured we just had to "get back on the horse" lol.

It's weird, I'm usually not in the mood, but once we're there, it is so great, better than pre-pregnancy!! And we're normally once a week or every other week, poor DH.

jfwilliams · June 2010

We have still kept up our regular rutine... just because I just cant tell him no... =/

Im sure he can obviously tell when I actually want it and when Im just doing it for him. :: shrugs ::

We have been having enough problems with my b!tchiness etc... That I feel we need that closeness so I just cant say no...

superMiller · June 2010

alreeves:
Once or twice a week. But DH knows that if I say ok, or give him a look, it means now or never, because that feeling comes and goes very quickly these days.

Amen to this. Not nearly as often as we were but better than 1st tri when kissing made me nauseous.