Anyone want another dc and dh doesn't?

docmay25 · June 2010

I just had my miscarriage this weekend, but I am all for starting over and moving forward. I am already thinking about trying again and talked to Dh about it. He said that he doesn't know if he wants to try again or have another child.

He did this the last time I had a miscarriage. He thinks I am just going to keep having miscarriages and wants to stop trying. I have wanted another child since DD was 2, but we have waited because we were moving/building a house. How would you deal with this? I am very strong on wanting another child. This is upsetting to me that now after 2 years of talking about it, he is changing his mind.

elm1032004 · June 2010

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I'm not sure what I would do if DH and I were on different pages on wanting more kids, but since this just happened I would wait a couple weeks and then talk to him. Maybe if you both agree that if we try X more times and it ends in a miscarriage than that is it he would be more willing. Is the thought of having another m/c overwhelming him?

ccm1203 · June 2010

elm1032004:
I'm so sorry for your loss.

I'm not sure what I would do if DH and I were on different pages on wanting more kids, but since this just happened I would wait a couple weeks and then talk to him. Maybe if you both agree that if we try X more times and it ends in a miscarriage than that is it he would be more willing. Is the thought of having another m/c overwhelming him?

Ditto this. I am so sorry for your loss.

Glendi2.0 · June 2010

Honestly, I can kind of understand your husband's apprehension, especially so soon after your MC (I'm so sorry, btw- I hope you're doing okay.) I agree with the PP who suggests shelfing the discussion for a few weeks 'til you both have time to recover and regain perspective.

shouldbworkin · June 2010

I'm so sorry for your loss. big (((Hugs)))

My DH waffles too and so do I after a m/c and now that we're all getting older. but, when it comes down to my fertile week, we're both pretty gung ho. I think the whole task of TTC can be dauting at times too. there's a lot of emotions that are probably raw right now, so I would just give it some time and see what happens.

Mrs.Tony · June 2010

I am so sorry to hear about the miscarriage but this identical situation happened to a good friend and her husband kept saying it was a sign that they stop at 2. She disagreed and felt so disappointed. I don't know what will happen.

I want another and MH does not.

joy143dh · June 2010

Sorry about your MC. Hope you are feeling ok.

DH is on the fence about having another one. If it happens, it happens is his motto. My desire is much stronger and I would like to see a specialist, but he says that if it has to come to that, he'd rather not have another child. It completely sucks.

peekaboo716 · June 2010

elm1032004:

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I'm not sure what I would do if DH and I were on different pages on wanting more kids, but since this just happened I would wait a couple weeks and then talk to him. Maybe if you both agree that if we try X more times and it ends in a miscarriage than that is it he would be more willing. Is the thought of having another m/c overwhelming him?

This is great advice. I think being so soon after your loss, which I offer my sympathy for, makes it very difficult for your DH.

In our situation, there is no loss to affect our decision. But, I most definitely want another child and DH does not. He has not completely closed the door, but is strong in his thought now. I am waiting it out a while longer.

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