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Babies: 6 - 9 Months
WWYD? Baby and a Funeral...
DH's grandfather (step-gf if you want to be technical) is dying from cancer, and he is already on hospice and the docs said he could go any day now. The whole situation is extremely sad since this will be the second husband DH's grandmother has had to bury in her lifetime.
Overall, its just a terrible thing to watch someone slowly drift away...we hope and pray he goes peacefully...
Anyway, my wwyd is regarding the etiquette for bringing a baby to a funeral. I have only been to 3 funerals ever, and neither DH nor I know how to handle LO at a funeral. So, I guess my direct questions are:
Should we even bring her with us?
What should she wear if she does go with us?
I'm sorry if these questions seem shallow, I just want to be as respectful as possible when the time comes.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: WWYD? Baby and a Funeral...
Proud Mama to Mickey (12.03.09) and Nemo (06.06.13)
We've brought Evelyn to 2 funerals so far, and she's been pretty good at both of them (she was 2 and 4 months old at them, but even still I think she'd be okay for the most part).
For the second funeral, I put her in a little white dress with some babylegs on (it was March.. it was COLD!), and she sat on my or DH's lap the whole time. She was quiet throughout the whole service (which was rather long), and only started to fuss at the very end. My advice would be to sit near an exit so you can make a quick escape if she ends up getting really fussy.
Personally, I think (some) people LIKE to see babies at funerals, sometimes... makes people smile to think that even though things like this happen, life does go on... that, or babies just make for a happy distraction. Also, I know having Evelyn along at the last funeral gave me an extremely valid excuse to talk to the family about where the babies were going to end up... but, that's another story that I've posted about previously.
Don't worry too much about clothing for your baby. The rules don't apply to them. A nice summer dress (if you have one), or a sweet lil onesie will work. Whatever you feel is appropriate, moreso for the weather and that you don't think would be offensive to family members.
Sorry to hear that your family's losing a member. It's always sad to see loved ones pass.
Ok, thanks girls. I kinda assumed we'd sit near the back in case she got fussy. I just wasn't sure how others felt about a baby being at a funeral. Its going to be a rough time for DH's side of the family, but they are all strong people and I know we will all get through it together. I agree about a baby being a happy distraction, so maybe she'll bring a little happiness on such a sad day.
Thanks for the responses!
Im so sorry to hear your family is going through this. I agree with PP, def bring your LO and sit near the back. Dont worry about an outfit, just a nice dress
My Grandpa passed when DS was 3 weeks old and I didnt bring him. I wish I could have though. DS had colic and it just would have been too much for all of us.
So sorry that you and your family are having to go through this
DH's grandpa passed away when DS was 2ish months old. We didn't take him to the service, but we took him to the reception after. He wore black corduroy pants, a button down dress shirt with a sweater vest over top (it was winter).
sorry your family is going through this. my dad passed from cancer and it is so hard to watch them deteriorate each day. like others said i think it's almost a comfort to see a sweet little baby at a funeral. your family is in my thoughts and prayers.
We took LO to a funeral when he was a few months old. He stayed in his carseat the whole time. He was fine, but we were in the back the whole time in case he fussed. We weren't sure if it was appropriate to take him, but I think the widower was happy to see a baby - something good at a time of sadness.
We didn't have him wear anything specific - I think he was only 2 or 3 months old. For a LO who's slightly older, nice pants/dress. i wouldn't worry about colors.
I disagree with this. It depends on the baby and if the baby is one to cry a lot.
I think that you raise an important point - DH's grandfather passed away when DD was 3 months old. We decided not to bring her and we are glad that we made that decision. It was important for us to grieve and mourn and have that time for ourselves to do so, quite frankly. However, I don't think it's inappropriate to bring a baby to a funeral, I just think it's a personal decision.