3rd Trimester

XP: Mature Audiences only-kind of TMI

So as you all know DH made a huge mistake 3 months ago and had a one night stand with a childhood friend....just decided to come clean last week...

SO I have been devastated, angry, sad, resentful, depressed, the whole 9. 

Yesterday a new emotion shows up-lust? 

When DH came home from work I really wanted him (WEIRD) we had some really good sexy time...it seemed like the best we have had since conceiving LO! Seriously it was so good, and I am not sure why but I felt like a new person afterward, it was like pent up angry sex, wrapped up with love, and frustration. During the sex he told me he would never hurt me like that again, he told me he only wants me forever like in a passionate way almost crying...it was so erotic-like, I cannot explain it.  I had not one uncomfortable feeling during it, there were multiple orgasms Embarrassed...

I am glad we start counseling tomorrow. 
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Re: XP: Mature Audiences only-kind of TMI

  • i had a friend who went through a similar kind of situation almost. she said sex with her partner afterwards seemed almost like claiming him (not in a bad way, im totally not being snarky) she said it was hard to explain, but almost like sex was their thing, and having it together was her way of taking back what was hers. i dont know if i explained it right lol, but i can understand what your saying in your post. hope everything goes well tomorrow.
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  • I am happy to hear that you had such an amazing experience.  I hope you guys are able to work it out.
  • I think that is just so sweet.  Sex is such a huge and important part of marriage, and you two seem to have that area all taken care of.  Wink  And, you can add that to your list of stress relievers!  lol
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  • a NBR added to the title would have been helpful. I don't think this is an appropriate post - would you walk into a roomful of strangers and tell them all about your angry make up sex? I sure hope not.

    I'm just going to stop there and not comment further.

  • imageWishLuckyStar:

    a NBR added to the title would have been helpful. I don't think this is an appropriate post - would you walk into a roomful of strangers and tell them all about your angry make up sex? I sure hope not.

    I'm just going to stop there and not comment further.

    Damn I thought I had blocked you! I guess not.... well consider it done. 

  • My DH and I separated for several months a couple years ago.  There was no cheating, but we both saw other people while we weren't together.  When we did "hook up" again, it was similar to what you describe...very passionate.  If it's any consolation, I thing going through those issues wound up being a good thing.  We're both much better at communicating and compromising and I think we now have a better relationship than we would have if we had never split up in the first place.
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  • imageSoon_2B_MrsM:
    imageWishLuckyStar:

    a NBR added to the title would have been helpful. I don't think this is an appropriate post - would you walk into a roomful of strangers and tell them all about your angry make up sex? I sure hope not.

    I'm just going to stop there and not comment further.

    Damn I thought I had blocked you! I guess not.... well consider it done. 

    LOL

    wow, do you block everyone who disagrees with something you say?

  • I am sorry you had to go through that BS, but I am glad you are a survivor of it and not playing victim. I went through a similar experience with my DH 2 years ago. So I know about how you felt claiming your relationship back. I still have some issues but he also realizes that his decisions created a lifetime of hurt and is willing to spend a lifetime to fix it. I am happy you are getting counseling and I hope it works for you. GL
  • imageWishLuckyStar:
    imageSoon_2B_MrsM:
    imageWishLuckyStar:

    a NBR added to the title would have been helpful. I don't think this is an appropriate post - would you walk into a roomful of strangers and tell them all about your angry make up sex? I sure hope not.

    I'm just going to stop there and not comment further.

    Damn I thought I had blocked you! I guess not.... well consider it done. 

    LOL

    wow, do you block everyone who disagrees with something you say?

    You disagree with everything I say and rarely have anything nice to comment to me...so I rather just block you so that you don't have to annoy me anymore. 

  • imagetraceyt07:

    And by the way WishLuckyStar- she did state in her subject line that it was "mature audiences only" if you weren't comfortable with it, you could stop reading and close the post.  Leave the poor girl alone.

    Silly me, I thought it was board related. Sorry I'm not going to tell her what she wants to hear. 

    Are you really 4 days past due? Indifferent Poor woman, labor dust being sent your way!!

  • Oh yes, I totally see all this turning out well for all of you.
  • imagefussbucket:
    Oh yes, I totally see all this turning out well for all of you.

    I love you screen name LOL  made me laugh! 

  • imageWishLuckyStar:

    I'm just going to stop there and not comment further. 

    Yet you couldn't resist...

    Anyway, I think the OP was BR.  

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  • I don't know what is worse, you making so light of your H cheating on you that you are already having sex with him, you putting your baby at risk for STD's, or the other ladies saying good for you. wow...just wow
  • imageSoon_2B_MrsM:
    imageWishLuckyStar:

    a NBR added to the title would have been helpful. I don't think this is an appropriate post - would you walk into a roomful of strangers and tell them all about your angry make up sex? I sure hope not.

    I'm just going to stop there and not comment further.

    Damn I thought I had blocked you! I guess not.... well consider it done. 

    BWAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!  Yes

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • imagemagsugar13:
    I don't know what is worse, you making so light of your H cheating on you that you are already having sex with him, you putting your baby at risk for STD's, or the other ladies saying good for you. wow...just wow

    FINALLY, someone said it! Thank you!!!

  • imagetraceyt07:
    imageBlueRidgeMama:
    imageWishLuckyStar:

    I'm just going to stop there and not comment further. 

    Yet you couldn't resist...

    Anyway, I think the OP was BR.  

    BR?  What's that?  After 9 months on here you'd like I would know all the acronyms!

    board related. 

     

  • imagemagsugar13:
    I don't know what is worse, you making so light of your H cheating on you that you are already having sex with him, you putting your baby at risk for STD's, or the other ladies saying good for you. wow...just wow

    Ok I'm glad I'm not the only one thinking this. OP I hope things work out for you but I really think you need to think about this more clearly.

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  • Oh yes. It's super sweet of him to tell you he'll never fvck another girl while he's fvcking you.

    Disgusting.

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  • imagedee7972:

    imagemagsugar13:
    I don't know what is worse, you making so light of your H cheating on you that you are already having sex with him, you putting your baby at risk for STD's, or the other ladies saying good for you. wow...just wow

    Ok I'm glad I'm not the only one thinking this. OP I hope things work out for you but I really think you need to think about this more clearly.

    What firehouse is your H stationed at?I'm a FDNY baby grew up in the firehouse!

  • imageJocelyn0415:

    Oh yes. It's super sweet of him to tell you he'll never fvck another girl while he's fvcking you.

    Disgusting.

    phew, I was beginning to think I had entered some sort of Bump Twilight Zone where cheating spouses are accepted.  The amount of smoke being blown up her ass here and on our birth month board is ridiculous. 

  • I think I see a justified DD in the near future.

    OP, I am one who really does think that cheating can be worked through and a relationship can live through it.  I think that your DH sounds like he is truly repentant and I think that counseling will help you both.  I also think that resuming sexual relations is an important step in the process of forgiveness and return to normalcy for BOTH of you.  I personally have never been in your shoes (and I hope I never have to be) but I have helped many other people in your shoes to seek counseling and find forgiveness and I think that a lot of the animosity you are seeing from people here has to do with lack of understanding on their part.  Their lives are apparently perfect as are the lives of everyone they have ever been personally involved with.  That is really too bad for them because odds are that it won't stay that way, pretty much all of us are faced with bad at some point in our lives, how we deal with those things and how we treat others as they deal with them speaks directly to our character.

    For the comments about exposing her child to STDs, the OP has probably been having sex with her husband for the last 3 months.  My guess is that in that time she has been tested by her doctor.  I have no reason to disbelieve her husband that it was a one time infraction, and neither do you.  Plus, you don't know what precautions were taken ....unless you are the childhood friend he committed the infraction with?

  • imagemagsugar13:
    imagedee7972:

    imagemagsugar13:
    I don't know what is worse, you making so light of your H cheating on you that you are already having sex with him, you putting your baby at risk for STD's, or the other ladies saying good for you. wow...just wow

    Ok I'm glad I'm not the only one thinking this. OP I hope things work out for you but I really think you need to think about this more clearly.

    What firehouse is your H stationed at?I'm a FDNY baby grew up in the firehouse!

    I'll PM you that info..he doesn't like to much info being let out about 'the job' you know how it is Wink

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  • I am so done talking about things on here, until any of you have walked in my shoes and have an idea of how something like this feels, then you cannot talk about what I should have been doing or not.

    So am I supposed to be angry forever, while I am pregnant? My husband used a condom with the one nighter, and we have had sex before I even knew what happened....give me a break?!?

     How did I make light of his cheating...have you been on here the past week?

    My life is torn the F up right now, and all you can do is put me down!??!?! 

    Don't worry ladies I will never post anything on here again about my husband... 

  • imageMeanMommyLady:

    I think I see a justified DD in the near future.

    OP, I am one who really does think that cheating can be worked through and a relationship can live through it.  I think that your DH sounds like he is truly repentant and I think that counseling will help you both.  I also think that resuming sexual relations is an important step in the process of forgiveness and return to normalcy for BOTH of you.  I personally have never been in your shoes (and I hope I never have to be) but I have helped many other people in your shoes to seek counseling and find forgiveness and I think that a lot of the animosity you are seeing from people here has to do with lack of understanding on their part.  Their lives are apparently perfect as are the lives of everyone they have ever been personally involved with.  That is really too bad for them because odds are that it won't stay that way, pretty much all of us are faced with bad at some point in our lives, how we deal with those things and how we treat others as they deal with them speaks directly to our character.

    For the comments about exposing her child to STDs, the OP has probably been having sex with her husband for the last 3 months.  My guess is that in that time she has been tested by her doctor.  I have no reason to disbelieve her husband that it was a one time infraction, and neither do you.  Plus, you don't know what precautions were taken ....unless you are the childhood friend he committed the infraction with?

    Some couples are able to work through infedility and come out with a healthy relationship, but that is extremently rare. More often than not, when couples stay together they live an ongoing life of resentment and anger bubbling just under the surface.

    You ABSOLUTELY should get tested for STDs. Her OB would not necessarily have tested her for these. Her H should get tested as well. And you both should get retested.  Please OP talk to your dr about this. Your child could suffer a birth defect or disease that could be treatable/preventable.

  • imagefussbucket:
    Oh yes, I totally see all this turning out well for all of you.

     I think it's hilarious that the sarcasm wasn't picked up here! Maybe I noticed it only because I'm sarcastic myself lol

    OP it seems to me that you can't handle the truth, if you're blocking people because you don't like what they have to say. Isn't that the point of this whole place? To get honest opinions from people so you can consider all options?

    Your husband told you he'd never hurt you again because you gave up the goods. I think counseling is great and I really hope it works out for you but you really need to learn to handle the truth. The truth is ugly and it's not always nice. You can't always avoid it!

  • NEWSFLASH

    no one is exempt from cheating, you DH's could be cheating right now and you would have no idea...still sleeping with him and everything...none of you are any better than me, and I do not have to explain or justify what I do to you people. 

  • For the comments about exposing her child to STDs, the OP has probably been having sex with her husband for the last 3 months.  My guess is that in that time she has been tested by her doctor.  I have no reason to disbelieve her husband that it was a one time infraction, and neither do you.  Plus, you don't know what precautions were taken ....unless you are the childhood friend he committed the infraction with?

    Did you just crawl out from under a rock?
    Do you live in the land of rainbows and puppy dogs?

    You have no reason to disbelieve him? lol do  you have a reason to believe him?  I do have a reason NOT to believe him...how about because he already did it? How about because he hasn't even been married that long? How about because he broke his vows? Yep, seems like a really trustworthy guy.

  • imoanimoan member

    OP- you're a moron.  He'll cheat on you again- mark my words.  Especially now that he knows it'll improve your sex life.

    WishLuckyStar- you're also a moron.  While the OP is touched in the head, you're actually outraged that someone posted something non baby-related on a public message board?  It must be nice that The Bump is employing you to police the boards... oh... wait. 

    image
    Currently Reading: Don Quixote by Miguel De Cervantes
  • imageSoon_2B_MrsM:

    I am so done talking about things on here, until any of you have walked in my shoes and have an idea of how something like this feels, then you cannot talk about what I should have been doing or not.

    So am I supposed to be angry forever, while I am pregnant? My husband used a condom with the one nighter, and we have had sex before I even knew what happened....give me a break?!?

     How did I make light of his cheating...have you been on here the past week?

    My life is torn the F up right now, and all you can do is put me down!??!?! 

    Don't worry ladies I will never post anything on here again about my husband... 

    So this is a GBCK for a topic? This may be a first.

    The point of posting something on a board is to get responses/feedback on the subject. If you don't want feedback (or if you only want to hear one type of response) then get a diary. Or a Twitter account.

     

     

     

  • imageSoon_2B_MrsM:

    I am so done talking about things on here, until any of you have walked in my shoes and have an idea of how something like this feels, then you cannot talk about what I should have been doing or not.

    So am I supposed to be angry forever, while I am pregnant? My husband used a condom with the one nighter, and we have had sex before I even knew what happened....give me a break?!?

     How did I make light of his cheating...have you been on here the past week?

    My life is torn the F up right now, and all you can do is put me down!??!?! 

    Don't worry ladies I will never post anything on here again about my husband... 

    Oh, he used a condom? Then it doesn't count, right? Confused

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  • imagedorkgirl03:

    imagefussbucket:
    Oh yes, I totally see all this turning out well for all of you.

     I think it's hilarious that the sarcasm wasn't picked up here! Maybe I noticed it only because I'm sarcastic myself lol

    OP it seems to me that you can't handle the truth, if you're blocking people because you don't like what they have to say. Isn't that the point of this whole place? To get honest opinions from people so you can consider all options?

    Your husband told you he'd never hurt you again because you gave up the goods. I think counseling is great and I really hope it works out for you but you really need to learn to handle the truth. The truth is ugly and it's not always nice. You can't always avoid it!

    No, I blocked her because she is always ignorant and has nothing positive to say to me EVER... I have been on the bump my entire pregnancy and she is always a B to me. 

  • imageJocelyn0415:
    imageSoon_2B_MrsM:

    I am so done talking about things on here, until any of you have walked in my shoes and have an idea of how something like this feels, then you cannot talk about what I should have been doing or not.

    So am I supposed to be angry forever, while I am pregnant? My husband used a condom with the one nighter, and we have had sex before I even knew what happened....give me a break?!?

     How did I make light of his cheating...have you been on here the past week?

    My life is torn the F up right now, and all you can do is put me down!??!?! 

    Don't worry ladies I will never post anything on here again about my husband... 

    Oh, he used a condom? Then it doesn't count, right? Confused

    Please do not make like of my situation this is not funny at all....but whatever you and your life is perfect, keep on living in your cloud. 

  • imageSoon_2B_MrsM:

    I am so done talking about things on here, until any of you have walked in my shoes and have an idea of how something like this feels, then you cannot talk about what I should have been doing or not.

    So am I supposed to be angry forever, while I am pregnant? My husband used a condom with the one nighter, and we have had sex before I even knew what happened....give me a break?!?

     How did I make light of his cheating...have you been on here the past week?

    My life is torn the F up right now, and all you can do is put me down!??!?! 

    Don't worry ladies I will never post anything on here again about my husband... 

    He used a condome? How do  you know? Oh, that's right you believe him, he is a real stand up guy!

    How have you made light? YOU HAD SEX with him and you havent even gone to counseling~~~~ wow You had sex with him without being tested, and you are in denial about trusting him!

    Your life is F'd up right now and you are choosing to make a bigger mess of it. we arent putting you down we are trying to get you to realize how messed up your choices have been since you found out!

    You don't have to post anything else about your H we will NEVER forget what a scumbag he is and how you are living on a fantasy world!

  • imageSoon_2B_MrsM:

    NEWSFLASH

    no one is exempt from cheating, you DH's could be cheating right now and you would have no idea...still sleeping with him and everything...none of you are any better than me, and I do not have to explain or justify what I do to you people. 

    Your right you dont have to justify anything to anyone.  But.... to most people its NOT OK that your DH committed adultry.  I personally would have chopped my husbands diick off and shoved it and his balls down his throat.  The thought of having sex with my DH after he has had sex with another woman while we were married absolutely repulses me.  I couldnt get over it this quickly.  Though you are going thru counseling which is the right thing regardless how the outcomes winds up.

    You need to get stronger for yourself and LO this man betrayed  you, disrespected you and your marraige.  And when you go back and read the things he said to you during sex I am sure we have all said things in the "heat of the moment".  I wish you nothing but the best. 

  • imageimoan:

    OP- you're a moron.  He'll cheat on you again- mark my words.  Especially now that he knows it'll improve your sex life.

    WishLuckyStar- you're also a moron.  While the OP is touched in the head, you're actually outraged that someone posted something non baby-related on a public message board?  It must be nice that The Bump is employing you to police the boards... oh... wait. 

    Eh perhaps I was beating around the bush. You're right, instead of asking her to put a NBR in the title so I can avoid her drama in the future I should have attacked her personally and called her a moron....much better tactic. Hmm

  • imoanimoan member
    imageSoon_2B_MrsM:
    imageJocelyn0415:
    imageSoon_2B_MrsM:

    I am so done talking about things on here, until any of you have walked in my shoes and have an idea of how something like this feels, then you cannot talk about what I should have been doing or not.

    So am I supposed to be angry forever, while I am pregnant? My husband used a condom with the one nighter, and we have had sex before I even knew what happened....give me a break?!?

     How did I make light of his cheating...have you been on here the past week?

    My life is torn the F up right now, and all you can do is put me down!??!?! 

    Don't worry ladies I will never post anything on here again about my husband... 

    Oh, he used a condom? Then it doesn't count, right? Confused

    Please do not make like of my situation this is not funny at all....but whatever you and your life is perfect, keep on living in your cloud. 

    Honey... you're the one living on a cloud. Not one of the responders said that their H's would never cheat on them (because you just never know).  They take issue with you having sex with someone who cheated on you and actually thinking that it was some sweet, bonding experience because your shthead of a husband said he wouldn't cheat on you while he fvcked you.  WAKE UP!

    image
    Currently Reading: Don Quixote by Miguel De Cervantes
  • imageimoan:

    OP- you're a moron.  He'll cheat on you again- mark my words.  Especially now that he knows it'll improve your sex life.

    WishLuckyStar- you're also a moron.  While the OP is touched in the head, you're actually outraged that someone posted something non baby-related on a public message board?  It must be nice that The Bump is employing you to police the boards... oh... wait. 

    Ok no you are a bitter *ss woman who knows nothing about me or my husband, besides what I put on the bump...don't get all high on the hog, hun because unless you are in my marriage and have to deal with the same things I am dealing with you have no idea. It is not a fact that if someone cheats once they will definitely do it again.  I am not "touched in the head" at all.

  • imageSoon_2B_MrsM:
    imageJocelyn0415:
    imageSoon_2B_MrsM:

    I am so done talking about things on here, until any of you have walked in my shoes and have an idea of how something like this feels, then you cannot talk about what I should have been doing or not.

    So am I supposed to be angry forever, while I am pregnant? My husband used a condom with the one nighter, and we have had sex before I even knew what happened....give me a break?!?

     How did I make light of his cheating...have you been on here the past week?

    My life is torn the F up right now, and all you can do is put me down!??!?! 

    Don't worry ladies I will never post anything on here again about my husband... 

    Oh, he used a condom? Then it doesn't count, right? Confused

    Please do not make like of my situation this is not funny at all....but whatever you and your life is perfect, keep on living in your cloud. 

    I'm sorry, I had a hard time making it past your horrible grammar.

    My life is nowhere near perfect. I never said it was, but you better believe if my FI cheated on me he'd be kicked to the curb. Especially if I was pregnant with his child while he was cheating!

    Like I said...disgusting.

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  • imageSoon_2B_MrsM:

    I am so done talking about things on here, until any of you have walked in my shoes and have an idea of how something like this feels, then you cannot talk about what I should have been doing or not.

    So am I supposed to be angry forever, while I am pregnant? My husband used a condom with the one nighter, and we have had sex before I even knew what happened....give me a break?!?

     How did I make light of his cheating...have you been on here the past week?

    My life is torn the F up right now, and all you can do is put me down!??!?! 

    Don't worry ladies I will never post anything on here again about my husband... 

     

    If you can't handle peoples opinions and thoughts then why the frick are you posting on here? You are exactly right that no has walked in your shoes so no one knows *exactly* what you're going through. But people only know what you post.  You post on here to get opinions and thoughts on how to handle something and yet you want to say "you cannot talk about what I should have been doing or not." I don't think this place is what you need. Seems you just want to vent so maybe a blog is a good idea for you. And how in the world do you expect to accomplish anything in counseling when you can't handle advice from other people here? I'm sorry, maybe I got what a counselor does confused. I thought a counselor gives advice and gives an input on how to handle things. Silly me for thinking that's what people do here! ::smacks myself::

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