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"Surprise," BFP, and dealing with my mixed emotions

italianbride2beitalianbride2be
in 1st Trimester

I just found out I'm pregnant with #2 (about 8 weeks along).  My DH and I were not trying and are not doing well financially.  We haven't really told anyone because we are kind of still in shock.  My DH is working two jobs, I was looking for a job with no luck and now here we have another.  

I am trying to tell myself things will work out.  We both did want a second one so our daughter would have a sibling, but the timing could not be more horrible.  I went off my pills last year because they were giving me horrible mood swings.  We were trying to use other methods, but they obviously failed.  With my daughter we tried for a year and half and I had to take 3 rounds of clomid to make it happen.  Apparently I didn't need it this time.  I feel so stupid and irresponsible. Anyone else have something similar happen please post. 

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Re: "Surprise," BFP, and dealing with my mixed emotions

  • Jhawks482Jhawks482
    Don't feel stupid. Sounds like money is just a little tight for you guys, but it seems like you guys are doing your best to pull out, right? The nice thing about #2 is that you don't really have anything to buy except clothes (if you have a boy), formula if you aren't BFing and diapers. I'm assuming you already have a crib and all the newborn accessories that can be costly the first time around! Things will work out!  If you had 4 or 5 kids kept getting pregnant when you know you can't provide, it would be different- and I actually know someone who is like that. You'll be OK!
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  • Thankful1121Thankful1121
    First of all, things will work out! I am still in school working a part time job while DH is working a full time job. We were told that we weren't going to get pregnant without some help so when we got the BFP, we were in shock. (Much like your situation)We are not financially stable but on the other hand the baby is a miracle. I am a full believer everything happens for a reason so if this baby was not suppose to happen it wouldn't have. Hang in there and try to be positive. Just remember things will work out and I am holding on to my faith for the rest. Good Luck and wish you and your family the best!
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  • kcisthebombdotcomkcisthebombdotcom member

    First off, congrats. Now breathe. You have 7 months to plan for this. There are a ton of things you can do between now and then to get financially ready. Can you move to a less expensive area? Get on a tight budget and cut out all unnecessary expenses. If you already have anything, at first a baby isn't going to be all that expensive. You can cloth diaper/nurse and have little added expense (besides the initial expense to buy the diapers).

     

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  • momofbeansmomofbeans member

    I can kind of relate. It took us 14 months to have DD. I had to have surgery for endometriosis to get pregnant. This 2nd one is a total suprise and we have been hit off guard with it. I was going to be going through a surgical tech program starting Aug. 2011. Then when it was finished in Aug. 2012, we were going to consider timing and having another child. DH is currently an over the road truck driver with good wks, and bad wks. But he makes himself what he and I were making (no college) together. I'm staying home with DD. Money is tight, our budgetting stinks, and our needs list is way too long, especially now I'm pregnant. It's going to be hard, but I'm staying positive. Have you tried things like couponing, cutting back, going to your local DHS office to see if you qualify for help? Maybe you can get WIC since you are pregnant. I know it's not a lot, but it's something. Hang in there, hopefully soon you'll start seeing a way this will work out.

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  • kcunnin88kcunnin88
    Seems like a lot of people are in the same boat. Our baby was a total surpise even though we were using birth control. my husband is in school and we live in a tiny 1 bedroom apt. We may have to move into my in-laws basement for a few months to make ends meet. But hey, we are excited to bring a little life into the world, and I know we can give our baby a loving home and all the essentials, even if there are not many luxuries. I try to remind myself women have been doing this for thousands of years with much less, and it's a natural part of life.
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  • s5m9js5m9j
    If you need help with budgeting and cutting costs to make everything work financially I would definitely post over on the Money Matters board. I am a regular on that board and the ladies are wonderful at helping find money in the budget you didn't know existed! Keep your head up, there are a lot of women in your same position.
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  • emily&derrickemily&derrick
    Congrats!! I agree with the pp who said that you won't need much for the 2nd baby- we literally bought nothing for DD#2 (besides diapers).  We decided that it would actually save money for me to stay home with our childeren instead of working and putting them in daycare.  Because we are living off of my husband's middle school teacher salary we live in a very modest two bedroom townhouse, share one car, and don't eat out or spend money on non-necessitites but it really isn't bad at all!  I figure that it's better to have a tight budget while they are young and don't need much than when they are older.  Try not to worry! 
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