Cousin is doing IVF; what can I do for her?

KatiesCats · June 2010

Hi ladies. I'm a Nestie who knows nothing about TTC. I'm hoping you can help me out a little bit.

My cousin is 29 and has been TTC for 4 years. She's seen tons of doctors, undergone IUI a few times, etc. She will be doing IVF for the first time this July, about a week after the next time I see her.

We're not super close; we live several hours apart, and I only see her a few times a year. But I do want her to know she's in my thoughts, and I'd love to give her something. But what? I could give her a card to let her know she's in my thoughts, but does anyone have any other ideas? I feel like pregnancy stuff isn't a good idea necessarily. I'm really clueless in this area, and want to be as sensitive as possible. Can you help me out? I really appreciate any suggestions you might have.

ashlyrose · June 2010

I have rec'd hand written cards from my cousins just letting me know that they are thinking about me & that was nice. Dont do anything baby or pregnancy related but even a nice gift card somewhere is good. That is very thoughtful of you

k-mart · June 2010

That's so sweet of you!

If you want to send her "things", a poster got a great package that included magazines, candy, pj's and dvd's. Since she will most likley have to be on bed rest for a few days, maybe sending her or giving her some things she can do while on the couch. Base it on what she likes and I am sure she will greatly appreciate it!

patchen30 · June 2010

This is really thoughtful of you. A card would be very sweet. I also got a care package from my MIL the other day and it really cheered me up. She put things in there that were just for pure enjoyment - gossip mags, candy, dvds, some cute pajamas. Little things like that can brighten your day. She'll need extra pampering during this time.

KatiesCats · June 2010

Oh gosh; I am so clueless! So after the transfer, she'll be on bed rest for a few days? I had no idea. Little things for while she's resting will be great! Maybe a gift card for a restaurant that does takeout, a Borders/Barnes & Noble gift card, etc?

I really do appreciate your help. I want to be as sensitive as possible, but I really have no idea what she's going through.

Amie8301 · June 2010

This is very thoughtful of you! Yes, anything she could use while on bedrest would be awesome also a nice card telling her you're thinking of her should brighten her day. Best of luck to your cousin!

so1966 · June 2010

i think you are a very thoughtful person. coming from someone who did so many ivfs, i never got a care package or card or nothing. emails are thoughtful, but just not enough... i hate how so many people just wait til you pop that baby out. good for you for thinking of your friend during such a difficult journey....

i would read about infertility as much as you can. what and what not to say. and, whatever you learn, don't keep it to yourself. awareness is key.

ecleptic · June 2010

KatiesCats:
Oh gosh; I am so clueless! So after the transfer, she'll be on bed rest for a few days? I had no idea. Little things for while she's resting will be great! Maybe a gift card for a restaurant that does takeout, a Borders/Barnes & Noble gift card, etc?
I really do appreciate your help. I want to be as sensitive as possible, but I really have no idea what she's going through.

It's okay to be clueless. My cousin (who I see often) went through IVF about 2 years ago and I had no idea what to say or do other than be happy with her when she was happy (and she went straight to IVF and nailed it on the first try so there was a lot of happy and not a lot of soul crushing disappointment). Now I'm going to be going through IVF and there's so much I had no idea about.

A little care package would be awesome- doesn't have to be expensive but it definitely lets her know that you know what she's going through (The bed rest, the daily injections, the hormones, the every other day trips to the REs office for bloodowrk and sonograms, the hospital visit and anesthesia for retrieval- IVF is going to be hard on her body.) even before the pregnancy starts and are supportive. There's time enough for baby stuff after good news, now should be about her for a little bit.

Dragonfly1226 · June 2010

After her retrieval and transfer she'll probably have to spend some time at home resting. You could give her some magazines or a book or DVD to watch... something to take her mind off of what she's laying around waiting for.

I think it's awesome that you are being so supportive

GL to her!

ichoosehope · June 2010

I don't have anything to add to the great suggestions already provided. I just wanted to say that it is really sweet of you to be doing this. You're a great cousin and friend.

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Cousin is doing IVF; what can I do for her?

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