- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
2nd Trimester
SweetPeanis
member
Crap...we haven't gone out to dinner in 3 months...is my marriage doomed?!
SweetPeanis
member
Now I'm all worried that since we don't go on dates without the toddler my marriage is going to fall apart! 
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Crap...we haven't gone out to dinner in 3 months...is my marriage doomed?!
In all honesty, the fact that I'm 19 weeks pregnant and have a 16 month old is proof that DH and I get plenty of alone time. lol Though our "dates" might include hanging out in the backyard watching the little league teams play baseball when the kiddo goes to bed, we still manage to make due with his schedule and our lack of babysitters.
I have no issue admiting something like that to a bunch of strangers...but I don't have issues in my relationship so there is nothing to admit.
Yes, I know what you mean. ; ) And honestly, DH and I do get date nights, but ONLY because my sister has been in town recently, and I trust her implicitly. If she weren't here, then there wouldn't be date nights, so I sympathize with people who just don't have those resources.
I still joke with DH about what we would do if we had DS where we used to live, in Houston. We knew NO ONE there, and definitely knew no one with kids. We would definitely struggle to find any kind of suitable sitter there if we had not moved.
OOO, yes, I know what you mean. DH and I do "movie night", where we get our Netflix movie, and DH sets up his projector that he uses for work. Then I set up my speakers for "surround sound". So it's kind of like going to the theaters, except our butts are on our own couch instead.
not at all.
Uh, no. Please see below post "re: babysitters".
I don't think anyone said your marriage was guaranteed to go in the shi**er if you never get away, it's just others have different priorities. DH and I have always been the couple that travels, dines out, enjoys concerts, etc and that time is important to us now and always will be - most of my friends with and without kids are always telling us how much they envy that.
I don't agree with those that say they're (not necessarily anyone on this board, but I have a couple friends) better parents because they have never left their child alone and judge those that do. Really? I find it odd and think that the child is more likely to have separation issues if the time ever comes up that they need to leave them.
Our child will be our number 1 priority, but our relationship is going to remain a close second - lucky for us we have plenty of people that will help give us that "adult" time that is important to us.
we bought a surround sound system and a blu ray player for these occasions haha, with all the money we saved NOT going to the over priced theaters we could afford it haha, and its better on your couch, you can pause it and go pee or refresh munchies
Oh my....I really hope your not serious?????
Totally serious.
You said this very well. The things that DH and I enjoy doing together are things that we would need a sitter to still enjoy. And, it is very important to me that we continue to do those things to keep our marriage strong. For DH and I, not doing them would be putting "us" on the back burner.
Going out to eat or see a movie is not the only way a couple can spend time together. They can do it at home too. Even going out WITH the kids can be a bonding experience for a couple! I plan on having date night but I don't judge couples who don't. And I see that some people don't realize what a tight budget is. A restaurant bill plus the baby sitter fee can put strain on a budget and it's not worth it to some people. I know my parents didn't get out much because money was tight so they just flirted in the kitchen during family breakfast.
Having said that, I know a couple who is way too extreme for me! The kids are in fourth and second grade and sleep in the bed with the mom. The dad sleeps on the couch. (They live in a one bedroom by choice) No way sex is happening in that house. Definitely no date nights. It is all about the kids.
I do think the marriage needs a lot of attention, but each couple is different.
I like the way you think. This is a very moderate way of viewing things. I think the problem with some of the posters was the judgement of those who are not comfortable with leaving their child with a sitter that they do not trust. To each their own.
Well no one should leave their child with a sitter they do not trust!!
I don't think I'll have a problem leaving my kids with a friend or family member....or trusted baby sitter. I'm a teacher, I can't do kids 24/7! I know I'll want a break. Even if it's just to go for a drive or walk in the park. (Depending on finances) I think some people worry way too much about what other people do!
Well put - we chose to become a one income family 2 yrs ago so I could stay home and we can homeschool - then with the economic downturn very shortly after that, our budget still pays our mortgage and basics, but there is VERY LITTLE extra. So "date times" are at home, and we hike, camp, and go to free day at the public pool WITH the kids.