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Stay at Home Moms
Wow... Lots of SAHM-Bashing on the 3-6 Months Board
Today, apparently.
I didn't know that this was such a heated issue.
Dumb question, but...
Why is there so much animosity towards SAHM's?
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Re: Wow... Lots of SAHM-Bashing on the 3-6 Months Board
Who knows? SAHMs have been bashed for a long time now. I've even been told at some point that raising children at home is backasswards 1950s...or something like that. It could be a number of things...insecurity, jealousy, intolerance, etc etc etc. I get up every morning truly loving my job and the people I work with. That's what matters to me. I couldn't have said that about my job when I worked outside of home, no matter how damn good the benefits and pay was.
It's really a shame that moms can be so damn harsh to each other. It's the most worthwhile job in the world, yet we have to resort to insulting one another to make ourselves feel better.
I think its just a matter of prospective and opinions, sometimes based on personal experience or jealousy.
Its kind of the "grass is greener" thing because I've met a lot of SAHMs that have serious animosity towards working moms too.
Its like the great debate of FF vs BF- everyone has an opinion and the debates will just rage on.
At 3 months many women are returning to work after maternity leave, so all the bashing might very well be guilt, jealousy, defensiveness...or just plain ignorance (those who want to return don't understand why you would want to SAH). Mostly it is just women trying to make themselves feel better about their own situations. Too bad they have to do that by bashing others, but it is common.
The whole debate is stupid. I have been on both sides and agree with the grass is greener comment above.
They would love me over there. I am a SAH Mom to be. I do have reasons (bed rest) but even before I was having problems I was lucky enough that DH has a job that allows for me to stay at home. Since I've been on bed rest I feel like nothing gets done... but that's life. It's probably good for me because I was really anal about things and in a couple months I'll have my hands full with a new baby so I'll be used to not everything being done the way I like.
I think a lot of their issue is Jealousy. Who wouldn't want the chance to not work at a job away from their children. SAHMs get to experience a lot of things that working moms miss out on. I think it is easier to say that we're lazy than to admit that deep down they wish they could do the same.
There is "bashing" over almost all parenting decisions - SAHM, WAHM, BFing, formula feeding. CIO, what have you.
Parenting is one of those things that NO ONE knows how to do perfectly, and there is no manual. I think that moms in general are just always trying to prove to themselves that they made a good decision in their own parenting techique and get defensive of those who do things differently (by choice or not) - thus, bashing occurs.
Ditto everyone else. There are a lot of haters on the bump, nest, and I even remember plenty on the knot when I posted there. If there's a decision to be made--however trivial--there will be someone around to criticize it.
There are always going to be folks who get a little thrill from putting others down. It's indicative of insecurity in their own lives. Just try to ignore them.
Lots of women choose to work, and don't mind being away from their children. I was a working mom for 6 years and I don't feel I missed anything.
I'm a 3-6er, and maybe I missed a post that you're referring to, but I only noticed the one that was a SAHM saying that she felt SAH was easy for her. I didn't get the impression that it was a SAHM bashing day there.
I agree with this. I work part time by choice. I could SAH full-time if I chose, but I choose to work. I feel like it's a better balance for me to continue to work.
Jealousy. I just ignore it now, especially since it's quite obvious that it stems from feelings of envy. I love my life, and wouldn't have it any other way!
I think there is the old-fashioned idea that SAHM's do nothing all day and maybe are like waiting hand and foot on "the man."
Being a working mom and a SAHM, the SAHM is SO much harder. It is both physically and mentally exhausting. I stay busy all day. There is a constant need to find new ways to stimulate DD (and myself). The reward is so awesome! I had no idea I would enjoy staying at home so much. And, no, I am not a mousy little woman and my husband the "man". We work on it together. I am exhausted when he comes home and do not usually have dinner waiting.
I'll never bash WOHM or SAHMs again!!!!
I really don't like when people say "jealousy" - not everyone wants to stay home. I know many, many moms who love their jobs and feel very fulfilled as a working mom. In all honesty, if I had a career I was more invested in than what I had pre-DS I would probably have stayed a working mom and been totally fine.
To be honest, to make a remark like "they are just jealous", fuels the fire and annoys me. You would be up in arms if a negative comment was made towards working moms and the response was "you are just jealous!" (and heck, I AM jealous of a lot of things working moms have - there is no perfect situation).
Ditto this. I feel sorry for those people...life is too short to think that someone else always has it better. I have been a working mom and a SAHM. They both have perks and downfalls. Neither one is superior to the other.
DD#1~8/17/96------DS~10/24/05
Honestly? Who cares. Do what works for your family. Plus, I wouldn't put too much stock in what a bunch of random women on the internet think anyway.
This completely!
When I say jealousy, I mean that people who take the time to bash the idea of SAH, must be jealous or unfulfilled with their own choices. If they were truly happy with their situation, they wouldn't feel the need to say anything. It would be a non-issue. Clearly I'm not saying ALL working moms are jealous. A lot of them love to work, just like I love to SAH with DD.