what if it doesn't happen

3ltlones · May 2010

you know? I've been thinking about it a lot lately. If I don't get pregnant on my own, I don't get pregnant. I can't take clomid or any other fertility drugs because of my fibroids, the cause them to grow much faster than they would without them. And we don't have the money to do IUI or IVF because that would take away from other things for our family.

I know that month after month of seeing nothing is really starting to wear on DH. He told me that this month hit him really hard. It may be because it was also the month we lost Zoe. We are quickly approaching the 1 year mark since our last BFP and in just 6 months(which I know is a long time away, it will get here so fast) it will be 2 years trying. It's hard to believe that it's been that long.

I know that if that is what happens, that I can't carry another successful pregnancy I will have to accept it and move on but it's getting to the acceptance that is really hard.

jen629 · May 2010

I am sorry hon...I think about it a lot too ....my poor DH gets sadder and sadder too as the months pass...I hope it happens soon for you ...and call me!

Mocha Girl · May 2010

((((((((((((((HUGE HUGS))))))))))))))))) I'm thinking about you and sending lot's of T&P's your way!

Texas77again · May 2010

that is such a scary thought isn't it? i can totally relate to that feeling. i'm sorry girl. i hope that it does happen for you.

FWIW, i'm going to do an IUI this cycle and my dr is doing it for only $100. not sure if that makes a diff to you or not, but i wanted to let you know that it doesn't have to be crazy expensive.

((((hugs))))

TravelinMama · May 2010

I wish I knew what to say.....but ::::hugs:::: I hope to hell it happens for you!

RunSchwartzRun · May 2010

I don't have the answer, but please know you are not alone. I feel exactly the same way. We probably won't do IUI or IVF either so we can use that money to provide for the child we do have.

Sometimes I think non-TTCAL people tend to think we should be ok with whatever happens since we already have a living child, and that hurts too. I am not saying my pain is as great as someone who doesn't have any children, but it is still very real pain.

I really really hope it works out for you. ((Hugs.))

Brady1* · May 2010

((HUGS))

Texas77again · May 2010

RunSchwartzRun:

I don't have the answer, but please know you are not alone. I feel exactly the same way. We probably won't do IUI or IVF either so we can use that money to provide for the child we do have.

Sometimes I think non-TTCAL people tend to think we should be ok with whatever happens since we already have a living child, and that hurts too. I am not saying my pain is as great as someone who doesn't have any children, but it is still very real pain.

I really really hope it works out for you. ((Hugs.))

the desire to have a baby is not determined by the number of exisiting children.

my dr said to me at my first appt, "i think that every woman who wants to have a baby should be able to" and he said that's why he specializes in IF. i agree with him.

jen629 · May 2010

Texas77again:
RunSchwartzRun:

I don't have the answer, but please know you are not alone. I feel exactly the same way. We probably won't do IUI or IVF either so we can use that money to provide for the child we do have.

Sometimes I think non-TTCAL people tend to think we should be ok with whatever happens since we already have a living child, and that hurts too. I am not saying my pain is as great as someone who doesn't have any children, but it is still very real pain.

I really really hope it works out for you. ((Hugs.))

the desire to have a baby is not determined by the number of exisiting children.

my dr said to me at my first appt, "i think that every woman who wants to have a baby should be able to" and he said that's why he specializes in IF. i agree with him.

DoingItRight · May 2010

I worry about this too. It happened so quickly the first time, but since then my cycles have been so messed up since the m/c. I hope that this is your month!

KristysRedBarn · May 2010

I'm sorry. This is something I think about too. As of right now DH and I don't want to go the IUI or IVF route (I'm not saying never, but not right now).

johannaknip · May 2010

Milestone months are the most heartbreaking. I'm sorry this is so hard. (((hugesquishyhugs)))

rjl07 · May 2010

I hope it happens for you soon. I hate that the milestones bring up all of these feelings. I just passed the 2 year TTC mark and it will be a year since my last BFP in a few weeks. It just adds so much pressure to the situation. ((hugs))

someflower6 · May 2010

oh hun. i wish i had something eloquent or profound to say, but i got nothing, everything sounds so cliche. i know it's such a scary and overwhelming thought. i am sending you huge huge hugs, and rooting for you this cycle.

jdeats71 · May 2010

I'm sorry - I know how you feel. Big hugs to you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Scout05 · May 2010

I know. It's my constant thought these days.

I'm so sorry honey. ::hugs::

3ltlones · May 2010

RunSchwartzRun:
I don't have the answer, but please know you are not alone. I feel exactly the same way. We probably won't do IUI or IVF either so we can use that money to provide for the child we do have.
Sometimes I think non-TTCAL people tend to think we should be ok with whatever happens since we already have a living child, and that hurts too. I am not saying my pain is as great as someone who doesn't have any children, but it is still very real pain.
I really really hope it works out for you. ((Hugs.))

I worry about this all the time. I know that a lot of people feel that way and I understand the feeling. Especially if they don't have children yet. I think sometimes the thought is that there is already children to love, so we'll be ok. I still have a hole though that needs to be filled.

I hope it happens for you too, hugs.

3ltlones · May 2010

Texas77again:
RunSchwartzRun:

I don't have the answer, but please know you are not alone. I feel exactly the same way. We probably won't do IUI or IVF either so we can use that money to provide for the child we do have.
Sometimes I think non-TTCAL people tend to think we should be ok with whatever happens since we already have a living child, and that hurts too. I am not saying my pain is as great as someone who doesn't have any children, but it is still very real pain.
I really really hope it works out for you. ((Hugs.))
the desire to have a baby is not determined by the number of exisiting children.
my dr said to me at my first appt, "i think that every woman who wants to have a baby should be able to" and he said that's why he specializes in IF. i agree with him.

My RE said the same thing. I was so worried about going and seeing him because I thought he would say "you have children, why are you here?". It was quite the opposite though and it felt good.

Court1 · May 2010

jen629:
Texas77again:
RunSchwartzRun:

I don't have the answer, but please know you are not alone. I feel exactly the same way. We probably won't do IUI or IVF either so we can use that money to provide for the child we do have.

Sometimes I think non-TTCAL people tend to think we should be ok with whatever happens since we already have a living child, and that hurts too. I am not saying my pain is as great as someone who doesn't have any children, but it is still very real pain.

I really really hope it works out for you. ((Hugs.))

Same

the desire to have a baby is not determined by the number of exisiting children.

my dr said to me at my first appt, "i think that every woman who wants to have a baby should be able to" and he said that's why he specializes in IF. i agree with him.

Cristine · May 2010

I worry about this alot. We want a 3rd child, we could probably swing IVF but we'd have to go into major debt to do it. I'm really reluctant to go that way because that's what my parents did. My entire college fund went to financing their IVF. They still managed to pay for my college but I don't want to risk my boys' education for something that might not work.

We've talked about adoption if we can't get pregnant on our own again. We want to do that anyway but I really want one more baby, and if we adopt it will be through foster care. Plus it would be later when the boys are a little older.

It's such a tough concept. I hope everyone gets BFPs soon so it doesn't become an issue.

jdmiller28 · May 2010

Big Hugs. I wish I had more words to comfort you right now.

Mrs.Albie · May 2010

(((hugs))) I hope you get your take home baby soon.

madladybride · May 2010

I'm sorry. I think about this, too. I am trying to make peace with the idea of not being able to have a child, just in case it doesn't happen. I think this is something that we all struggle with.

shouldbworkin · May 2010

((((hugs)))) I wish I had some wisdom to share on this subject and some way to fix it for you. I can only imagine how difficult it must be.

babes12 · May 2010

i'm sure you've tried it all already but i'm just throwing this out there, have you tried sex e/o/d? or maybe even fertilaid for DH?? maybe changing it up a bit will help? like i said i'm sure you've tried it all before but i think the reason you can't accept the possibility of not getting pregnant or carrying a baby is b/c you know one day you will be pregnant again and have that take home baby.

and to always have that hope is a good thing. (((HUGS)))

SweetieD21 · May 2010

Oh honey, I'm so sorry. I know how frustrating it is. You just have to try to hang on to hope and faith, and keep praying.

Olive44 · May 2010

Big hugs. I really hope it happens for you. You deserve it.

Jessicaanne_1@yahoo.com · May 2010

I'm sorry. Try and stay positive. I know its hard. (((hugs)))

writergirl5786 · May 2010

(((HUGE HUGS))) words don't really work sometimes to make things better...so i just want you to know i'm thinking about you. and sending you lots and lots of hugs

celestej619 · May 2010

(((hugs)))

ade2be · May 2010

Texas77again:

FWIW, i'm going to do an IUI this cycle and my dr is doing it for only $100. not sure if that makes a diff to you or not, but i wanted to let you know that it doesn't have to be crazy expensive.

((((hugs))))

Big hugs to you. It is a scary thought. Its something I've thought about so often. I'm not sure how you become "ok" with it. I haven't gotten there yet.

Texas makes a good point though. My IUI ended up only costing me $121 because the ultrasounds were considered diagnostic and was covered by insurance. So the "infertility" part was only the transfer. I was expecting a lot more. If you have to pay for the u/s too....then maybe your doctor could cut down on the number of them.

rock-elle · May 2010

:::hugs::: Oh honey, what a difficult thought to have, I am so sorry. I hope that you and DH can find the strength in each other to move forward with whatever you need to. The man upstairs has a plan for all of us I believe.

sevenonesix · May 2010

I just wanted to give you (((hugs))).

ashleyy0219 · May 2010

I really hope it happens for you (((hugs)))

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