O.M.G..... DH currently attending an infant death....

lolc · May 2010

Chills just went down my spine.... I feel so sad.

DH is a police sgt. I called him up..... asked if he was busy he said Yes.. (but not the rushed "hurry off the phone" type of yes). I asked if everything was OK he said no... I asked what's going on... he said he's at an infant death scene. His first child death case ever. The baby was only 3 months old. ='(

The cause?

Co-sleeping (suffocation).

Parents are understandably beyond hysterical. No drugs or alcohol are suspected (as in, parents are not suspected of taking drugs and falling asleep on baby). Just a very unfortunate accident.

=(

pepomntpat · May 2010

How horribly sad!

mrs.spears26 · May 2010

that's horrible. how sad for those parents.

Mrs.Johns · May 2010

That is just so unfortunate and sad.

2becomes3 · May 2010

That is so terrible...unfathomable. But thank you for the wake up call.

While I know I won't co-sleep, I just told my husband yesterday that on a day when I don't have to go to work it would be nice to feed the baby and then cuddle with her in bed for a little while. Imagine if I fell back asleep doing that and something tragic like this happened! It's easy to think it will never happen, but I'm sure this family thought the same thing. Now I'll think twice.

nosoup4u · May 2010

lolc:
The cause?

Co-sleeping (suffocation).

Parents are understandably beyond hysterical. No drugs or alcohol are suspected (as in, parents are not suspected of taking drugs and falling asleep on baby). Just a very unfortunate accident.

=(

That sucks, it really does - but how is co-sleeping/suffocation the cause, when you say in the next sentence that it's an accident, and they didn't roll over on the baby?

Sounds like SIDS, frankly, which can happen in a crib or in a shared bed. Infant death is a beyond-depressing subject, and I can't imagine what the parents are going through.

Jodi2008 · May 2010

How fvcking horrible.

Venus04d · May 2010

nosoup4u:
lolc:
The cause?

Co-sleeping (suffocation).

Parents are understandably beyond hysterical. No drugs or alcohol are suspected (as in, parents are not suspected of taking drugs and falling asleep on baby). Just a very unfortunate accident.

=(
That sucks, it really does - but how is co-sleeping/suffocation the cause, when you say in the next sentence that it's an accident, and they didn't roll over on the baby?
Sounds like SIDS, frankly, which can happen in a crib or in a shared bed. Infant death is a beyond-depressing subject, and I can't imagine what the parents are going through.

It sounds to me like they did roll over on the baby, they just weren't drugged when they did it.

How heartbreaking. My thoughts go out to the family in such terrible pain.

SuperThat1006 · May 2010

nosoup4u:
lolc:
The cause?

Co-sleeping (suffocation).

Parents are understandably beyond hysterical. No drugs or alcohol are suspected (as in, parents are not suspected of taking drugs and falling asleep on baby). Just a very unfortunate accident.

=(
That sucks, it really does - but how is co-sleeping/suffocation the cause, when you say in the next sentence that it's an accident, and they didn't roll over on the baby?
Sounds like SIDS, frankly, which can happen in a crib or in a shared bed. Infant death is a beyond-depressing subject, and I can't imagine what the parents are going through.

As in drugs or alcohol didn't cause them to pass out on the baby.

They did suffocate the baby, it just wasn't due to an outside substance.

That is just awful.

ashmin · May 2010

This is so heartbreaking. My best friend is doing her residency for peds right now and one of the first things she told me when I told her I was pregnant is to never co-sleep and to not even breastfeed laying down because the risk of falling asleep. She is only in her second year and has seen so much of this that she is extra cautious. I will be following her suggestions!

Sweets2005 · May 2010

Thats heartbreaking. Never understood the appeal of co-sleeping

A mom in my twins club lost one of hers to co-sleeping as well because the baby fell between the bed and the wall

*****(

KJmashup · May 2010

Terrible.

Kimee13 · May 2010

DH is a police officer and attends numerous trainings a year, they ALL agree Co-Sleeping is a big No-No!!! When people sleep they move all over, and it's easy to suffocate a baby and not know until it's too late.

SuperThat1006 · May 2010

Sweets2005:
Thats heartbreaking. Never understood the appeal of co-sleeping A mom in my twins club lost one of hers to co-sleeping as well because the baby fell between the bed and the wall *****(

That's just horrible. Honestly, I don't get it either for a lot of reasons, but safety is obviously No. 1.

ajcoghill · May 2010

I have tears in my eyes and chill bumps on my body. What a horrible horrible thing to happen. This has opened my eyes to co-sleeping. I had never thought about it or considered it but now I definitely will not!

Amore0808 · May 2010

How awful. I have been working in a pedi ICU for 5 years and have seen at least 1 a year of these accidents that either result in death or horrible brain damage due to suffocation. It has always been either they just accidentally rolled on a cosleeping baby or just fell asleep with the baby after breastfeeding and keeping it in the bed. Its so so so scary to me, and I will never lay my baby in the bed with us. Once you see that, you are scarred from it.

Dobie_Mama · May 2010

I know that must be hard for your husband. I worked my undergrad internship with an ME's office and attended three infant deaths - two SIDS, one asphyxia (all three were crib sleepers, BTW). They were absolutely the hardest to work, emotionally.

My T&Ps are with that family.

wearenutts · May 2010

How sad. This is why I will not co-sleep at all. Not even naps. My dad and FIL are both police officers and have seen this many times.

AleciaMarie · May 2010

Good god. I can't imagine. I accidentally suffocated a baby sugar glider once when I fell asleep on the couch (you are supposed to keep them in a pouch and wear it when they are babies, so they bond to you). I was beyond devastated. Could not imagine that happening to my infant.

mulanuva · May 2010

ajcoghill:
I have tears in my eyes and chill bumps on my body. What a horrible horrible thing to happen. This has opened my eyes to co-sleeping. I had never thought about it or considered it but now I definitely will not!

This.

Temp984666312503071 · May 2010

That is so so so sad.

Co-sleeping safely is very hard and uncomfortable. No blankets, no pillows, bed rails, firm mattress, no pillow top mattress pads etc. Most people do not co-sleep the right way. There is so much on the internet about the benefits of co-sleeping and why the family bed is the "safest bed" but very little on how you really have to totally change your bed to make it safe.

I have an Arm's Reach Co-Sleeper that attaches to the bed but gives my daughter her own safe space. I coud reach out and touch her if I wanted to, but didn't have to worry about rolling or blankets or anything like that. For the first 2 months this was a wonderful way to take care of her at night and for my peace of mind. After that, she transitioned into her crib easily.

But even with the Co-Sleeper, I would go into her nursery to nurse her at night (in the glider). I was too paranoid to bring her into bed on those delirious nights because it only takes ONE TIME. I have many friends who co-sleep and SWORE I would give in to it because "it is so much easier". I never did. I never will.

jessie395 · May 2010

My DH is a Lt. with the Sheriffs Office and he had the same kind of case a few years ago. The baby was 2 months old and the man rolled over on him

My DH was tore up for weeks over it. I can only imagine how the parents felt. It breaks my heart.

mamafoxX2 · May 2010

I have co-slept with my DD since the night she was born. I was always afraid of something like this, but I nursed and it was so much easier to let her nurse as we both slept, since she wouldnt take a pacifier. I probably will try to avoid it with this next baby.

denise_m · May 2010

How sure are they that the cause of death is suffocation? Co-sleeping babies also die from SIDS.

Without an autopsy it is unfair to assume that the death is caused by co-sleeping.

denise_m · May 2010

And please, before people assume that co-sleeping is not safe, safe co-sleeping can help reduce the risk of SIDS. Baby being so close to mom, feeling her breathing pattern, hearing her heartbeat has been known to help keep baby doing the same.

Even when the cause is torn between suffocation and SIDS, there are parts of the autopsy that will lean one way or another.

My heart breaks for that family. I know the heartache and there is nothing that could ever possibly compare.

Kimee13 · May 2010

denise_m:

And please, before people assume that co-sleeping is not safe, safe co-sleeping can help reduce the risk of SIDS. Baby being so close to mom, feeling her breathing pattern, hearing her heartbeat has been known to help keep baby doing the same.

Even when the cause is torn between suffocation and SIDS, there are parts of the autopsy that will lean one way or another.

I typically heed the advice I get from Drs, Medical Examiners, and the police dept and most are against sleeping with a baby in the bed. That's enough for me, plus our bed is for the two of us(and two fat cats); I've never understood the "family" bed - most ppl I know that do it complain about their sex life taking a huge hit.

denise_m · May 2010

Kimee13:
denise_m:

And please, before people assume that co-sleeping is not safe, safe co-sleeping can help reduce the risk of SIDS. Baby being so close to mom, feeling her breathing pattern, hearing her heartbeat has been known to help keep baby doing the same.

Even when the cause is torn between suffocation and SIDS, there are parts of the autopsy that will lean one way or another.

I typically heed the advice I get from Drs, Medical Examiners, and the police dept and most are against sleeping with a baby in the bed. That's enough for me, plus our bed is for the two of us(and two fat cats); I've never understood the "family" bed - most ppl I know that do it complain about their sex life taking a huge hit.

Me too, which is why our ped suggested it with this baby. And much of the latest SIDS research, which I follow like a hawk, recommends safe co-sleeping, which is NOT the same as a family bed. It does not allow animals in the bed at all, nor bedding, soft mattresses, baby between parents, or pillows.

And let me tell you, when we co-slept with dd, we had an awesome sex life. We got to be more creative and take advantage of other rooms in the house

nosoup4u · May 2010

Ack, my reading comprehension was a bit weak this morning. But I still wondering if it was SIDS and not just overlying.

ashmin:
This is so heartbreaking. My best friend is doing her residency for peds right now and one of the first things she told me when I told her I was pregnant is to never co-sleep and to not even breastfeed laying down because the risk of falling asleep.

Yes, much safer to nurse in a rocking chair and fall asleep while holding your baby.

Babies die from unsafe cribs, too - think of how many recalls there are per year. And SIDS while in they are in cribs, like denise_m is saying...co-sleeping is way, way too vilified in our country - the time spent denouncing it would be better spent teaching people how to do it safely.

https://neuroanthropology.net/2008/12/21/cosleeping-and-biological-imperatives-why-human-babies-do-not-and-should-not-sleep-alone/

wife1014 · May 2010

So sad for that family and any family who experiences the loss of a child.

Kimee13 · May 2010

denise_m:
Kimee13:
denise_m:

And please, before people assume that co-sleeping is not safe, safe co-sleeping can help reduce the risk of SIDS. Baby being so close to mom, feeling her breathing pattern, hearing her heartbeat has been known to help keep baby doing the same.

Even when the cause is torn between suffocation and SIDS, there are parts of the autopsy that will lean one way or another.

I typically heed the advice I get from Drs, Medical Examiners, and the police dept and most are against sleeping with a baby in the bed. That's enough for me, plus our bed is for the two of us(and two fat cats); I've never understood the "family" bed - most ppl I know that do it complain about their sex life taking a huge hit.

Me too, which is why our ped suggested it with this baby. And much of the latest SIDS research, which I follow like a hawk, recommends safe co-sleeping, which is NOT the same as a family bed. It does not allow animals in the bed at all, nor bedding, soft mattresses, baby between parents, or pillows.

And let me tell you, when we co-slept with dd, we had an awesome sex life. We got to be more creative and take advantage of other rooms in the house

Your ped might recommend it, but the majority do not. As for your sex life, props to you guys, however, the majority of ppl that I know that allowed their baby in bed with them said it was one of the biggest mistakes they ever made - breaking the habit was extremely frustrating. Having a co-sleeper next to bed is an entirely different and safe option.

As for the family bed - you're right, I don't know the exact definition because it's something I've always felt strongly against and just find weird, borderline creepy.

Just like every other baby topic, what works for one doesn't work for everyone and as long as your baby is loved and taken care of nothing else matters.

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