Just So You Know: It's Not All PnR When You Have A Baby

AbJams · May 2010

pretty_helmet:
AbJams:
What is patronizing about this post is the insinuation that we're all sitting here in 3rd tri expecting "puppies and rainbows" and "unicorn farts" when our babies come home. My baby won't be the first newborn I've ever met. I generally really like it when new moms come here and post about what their life with a newborn is like... but not when they do it with a patronizing attitude. Not to mention that the original post isn't even about the OP... it's someone ELSE'S experience.

oh, i'm sorry, i didn't know you wanted my first hand thoughts on this. well, since you are so interested: when my daughter was born and never passed a hearing test. we thought she was going to be deaf. she had horrible reflux which required a barium enema and a barium swallow test, not to mention a slew of xrays. my breast feeding experience was terrible. at four days old she was rushed to the emergency room with bloody stool and had to have a procedure done to remove a piece of tissue from her rectum which that was preventing her from making stool. her ear issues were resolved with surgery at 3 months of age. so there you have it. all better now or was my experience too patronizing?

Sharing your experience is not patronizing. Sharing your experience with the attitude that we all think everything is going to be easy and awesome is what's patronizing. My baby is going to be born in no more than 5 days, and I am TERRIFIED. I'm afraid I'm going to do everything wrong and just be all around ill-equipped. It's not that I think none of this applies to me, or that I am going to be the lucky one who has a breeze of a baby, or even that I think your friend's story isn't valuable. It's the attitude that we are expecting those unicorn farts that isn't valuable.

allyandpat2010 · May 2010

I'm not scared, nor did I think when I brought home my first LO that I thought it would be easy. But it definitely wasn't the OP's friend's experience. I think its great you are giving her perspective but lets not scare all the first time moms into thinking all post partum experiences will be like this. This was one example. There are many examples of women that go home and are fine.

Thanks for the story.

cowboys2009 · May 2010

MamaMyers22:

OMG. YOU DON'T GET IT.

It was meant to helpful, if it isn't helpful to you, move the eff on. Geez.

No, I think the problem here is YOU need to crack open a dictionary or google the definition of patronizing.

CMSullivan326 · May 2010

allyandpat2010:

I'm not scared, nor did I think when I brought home my first LO that I thought it would be easy. But it definitely wasn't the OP's friend's experience. I think its great you are giving her perspective but lets not scare all the first time moms into thinking all post partum experiences will be like this. This was one example. There are many examples of women that go home and are fine.

Thanks for the story.

This exactly...

Buckets of Moonbeams · May 2010

You ladies are so cute if you honestly think being around a newborn is like having your own. Really adorable.

There is no earthly way to know how hard having a baby is until you've had one.

ETA: And my newborn WAS easy. She latched right away, I produce milk like a cow, she slept from birth and I didn't have PPD. But still.

MamaMyers22 · May 2010

cowboys2009:
MamaMyers22:

OMG. YOU DON'T GET IT.

It was meant to helpful, if it isn't helpful to you, move the eff on. Geez.

No, I think the problem here is YOU need to crack open a dictionary or google the definition of patronizing.

You are right I haz teh dumbz. ::snort::

haleybeth81 · May 2010

AbJams:
Thanks. I love being patronized in novel form.

I e know Pretty and she's not patronizing you guys. Most moms get PPD because they have too high of expectations for themselves. I thought it would be hard when DD#1 came home but you truly don't know what it's like until it's there. This is more of psa of don't be too hard on yourself, get as much help as you can, and as long as you and LO are alive at the end of the day you're a great mom. I was continually being told as a new mom that I must be bad at if DD didn't sleep, my house wasn't clean, and my family wasn't eating healthy meals. No one was intentionally trying to put me down but were undermining me anyway and I got severe PPD/PPA because of it. Again Pretty isn't the patronizing type so try to take it in the spirit was written.

Christine610 · May 2010

pretty_helmet:

my inner control freak has been put on administrative leave, but unfortunately keeps calling in to check on things.

This cracked me up - at least you still have your sense of humor!

I'm glad you posted this, not that I really had any thoughts of how it would go either way. I'm just thinking postively, and hoping I manage it all ok. SO many posts are from wishy-washy women that say things are great & blah blah blah. I know I'll probably feel the way you do! Such a big part of me wants to be done being preg., but the rest of me is really happy that things are taken care of right now.

Good luck!

(P.S. my MIL is probably going to stay with us as well, but I've only met her like 12 times in the last 10 years - she lives out of state. Hopefully I can let things go when she tries to do them for me too!)

itsspykitty · May 2010

MamaMyers22:
Some of you ladies need to unclench.
Nothing here was patronizing. She was trying to be helpful and give you a new Mom's perspective, you know, trying to be helpful.
Take it for what it is, move on and have a nice day

This. Exactly.

itsspykitty · May 2010

metzy144:
AbJams:
Thanks. I love being patronized in novel form.

Hahaha this. I understand there is going to be an adjustment time after we being LO home, but that doesn't mean we have to have a negative outlook and expect the worst experience ever.

Here's the thing- this ISN'T a negative outloook- this is reality. No amount of watching someone else's newborn, or bumping, or reading will ever prepare you for bringing a newborn home. This is my 2nd and I'm scared sh!tless because I know what awaits me on the other side of this rainbow.

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Just So You Know: It's Not All PnR When You Have A Baby

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