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Baby Showers
1st shower 2nd baby...
Would it be wrong to have a baby shower. I know most of yall say its tacky but I never got on with my son because we lived all the way in IL (all of our fam is in NC). My husband did it all and could only afford the necessities (which lets face it cheap and didnt last long) so I dont really have anything. But for me its not all about the gifts we are willing to do it all again but I want the experience. So would it be wrong for me to have a shower?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: 1st shower 2nd baby...
Really? All the way from Illinois to North Carolina. My gosh...we make that trip about twice a year (and we DRIVE!!! with KIDS!!!). LOL
It is not wrong for you to accept a shower if someone offers. If they don't then just have a meet the baby party after the LO is born. You will still have the "experience", but really it is not that big of deal quite frankly.
Come on now, you know "experience" = gifts.
Just as "each child deserves to be celebrated" = "give me presents every time I pop a kid out"
The whole arguement of "every baby should be celebrated" - I don't disagree, but there are ways to celebrate a baby once the baby is here and doesn't involve gifts.
All that being said, OP, if someone offers you a shower and you want to say yes, go for it. But it is not cool to throw a shower for yourself.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
What experience? Where everyone throws presents at you and gawks at you while you open them and then all do the collective obligatory ohhhhh and ahhhh over you?
Didn't you have a bridal shower?
"Every baby should be celebrated"- well sure. You can do that at a meet and greet party, at the baptism, and seriously, those close to you are going to give your baby a gift.
This.
Seriously?
You are barely 4 weeks pregnant and you are worried about a shower?
I don't think the pps have been negative at all. You asked if it would be wrong to have a baby shower even though this is your second child and most of us said it would be fine if one is offered to you. Regardless of whether this is your first or tenth child...it is in very poor taste to throw your own. Basically you would not be the one that would be decorating anyway (that would be the hostess. You can certainly ask if she needs any ideas or help...but it is up to the hostess to do those things.
Whether you had a bridal shower or birthday parties or not doesn't have anything to do with having a baby shower...IMO. Many people never have a shower for either and have never had a birthday party. The "experience" is just having people around you that care for you and your little family. If no one offers to host a baby shower for you just have a "meet and greet" or a "welcome baby party" after your LO is born. My DD just had her 2nd and they are having a big BBQ and introducing their newist member of the family. That is something you can host yourself and do it the way you want it done. You said you would just as soon buy what you need yourself anyway...although a lot of people will bring a gift for the baby when they come to the party to meet your LO.
Lol at "glass half fool"
And know we don't know you, but that doesn't change anything. Why does everyone say this? Why does everyone think their "situation" (cue "Jersey Shore") makes them a special snowflake?
You asked, and you got answers. Just because you don't like them isn't a reason to get all up in a huff.
I am going to go out on a limb here, go against my normal advice, and just tell you what you want to hear. Plan, decorate, and throw your own shower. Celebrate your baby. Do the games, have the ballons, hell even have my most favorite thing ever, a diaper raffle (hint: use Denney's and Red Lobster gift certificates) and don't forget to ask for books and extra diapers.
Have at it, good luck, and most of all, please report back. The world definitely needs more 4 weekers planning their own showers!
Don't listen to these hags. If you want to throw your own shower do it! Your friends and family love you and they are not going to think ill of you for wanting to celebrate. If they do act like these jaded ladies then you and your LO don't need them in your life anyway.
If you read anything else posted on this board then you would know that they they EVERYTHING is tacky and they don't think anyone deserves anything.
Flame away.
I agree with "ensmith"!!!
Do what you want, and enjoy every minute of it!!
I totally forgot about the self-addressed, stamped-envelope thank yous. Gotta do those. And heck while we're at it, throw a "bring a dish to share" shower.
I AGREE!!! Do whatever makes you happy!!
Hag replying here.
If you throw your own shower, your friends and family might not tell you they think ill of you for "wanting to celebrate" (i.e. "wanting to receive gifts").
If they act like "us jaded ladies" (i.e. have the b*lls to actually comment on your gift grabby behavior) you don't need them in your life anyway. Well yes this is true because why on earth would you want to have objective people in your life to call a spade a spade.
And if you read "everything else" on this board, and any commonly accepted etiquette you would realize that no one ever advocates throwing themselves a shower at all, least of all for a second or third child. Of course we're going to say it's tacky. Because it IS.
And for the record, the hags on this board (proud self included here) don't think everything is tacky. There is overwhelming proof on this board we think a ton of things are perfectly fine. We do, however, think blatant tacky materialistic entitled posts and queries are. There is a distinct difference.
Go for it, especially if you are not able to afford all the things you need! It is not like you had a shower before. I think anyone who is pregnant would be lyin if they said they didnt want one and i`d put money on the fact that most of these snotty b***hes who are being so nasty have had one or will be having one.
The lack of good manners and blatant greediness displayed by the majority of people on this post is just mind-boggling.
I don't mind buying a gift for someone having a baby, and
I doubt most people get annoyed when invited to celebrate a baby and buy a gift. I'm not sure how many people would even know/care weather or not you threw yourself a shower or someone else threw it for you. Do what you want! Your family and friends won't think anything of a shower, other than a fun time together. If they are so concerned about spending any of there hard earned money on your baby then they can come without a gift or not come at all. I really don't get the deal with it being so horrible?
Some people just like to be negative and act like throwing yourself a shower is "so wrong" calm down and get over it.
I say go for it. We're planning on having a diaper shower this time around (I did have onbe with DS #1, but half of my family was excluded because of bad blood between the two and after the almost fist fight at my wedding, I wasn't going through that again), and while technically my sisters are throwing it for me, I will be financing most of it (because my sisters are 18 and 21 and neither of them have jobs yet). We are gonna do a coed beach barbeque type thing and if people don't like it they don't have to come.
No one is going to like/agree with everything you say or do, so take it with a grain of salt and do what makes you happy.
Maybe you should do a poll of your family and friends. Obviously you wouldn't want to host a shower and have no one show up because they think it is tacky. If you have all these friends/family in NC why isn't there one to host the shower? Maybe you just aren't far enough along for anyone to be thinking of that? Like I said earlier, if no one offers just host a "welcome baby party" once your LO is born in a way to celebrate. The focus will be on the baby though...not you (so if you are looking to be the center of attention that won't work).
Showers for 2nd (and more) babies in my family/friends are not done. Just the way it is here. My DD feels her 2nd DS should be celebrated and decided to have a BBQ to "introduce" their newest addition. So far there are over 60 people coming (family and friends). I think it is because it is NOT a shower. She's actually received some gifts from people who are not able to make the BBQ but wanted to send something to the LO.
If you're going to be rude and call someone out on their improper usage of a word, perhaps you should re-read your posts before you post them.
OP- If you want the experience and you want to throw yourself a shower. Do it. Who really cares what other people think? This is a do-it-yourself kind of world, and if no one has offered and you want to have an event that celebrates your child, do it. Who cares what these nasty, snarky people have to say.
I just really can't believe all of the snarkiness that went along with this post. Why can't you just say that you don't agree with it and move on? Why even post here if you think it's incredibly tacky to have a baby shower for her second child, when she didn't have one for her first?
I don't understand all the negativity and I don't understand the need to feel like you have to insult someone when they're just asking a simple question. Sure, she's looking for an opinion, but she isn't looking for you to hound her like you all have been. All you had to say was, "I wouldn't do that," and move on.
I can't believe all the immaturity on this board.
I can understand the view point of the women here who think it is not okay to throw your own shower whether it is your first or not. However, why do you have to act like total dogs about it? Also, if someone just wants to have a gathering, why does that automatically make them gift grabby? There are a lot of people out there that buy their own baby stuff but still have a shower because IT'S FUN. It can be requested that no gifts are brought. Or the person just doesn't register for gifts and if people decide to bring something, they can.
Believe it or not, people who want to have a shower don't always just want gifts.
This. Not to mention that people that GO to shower's generally like to bring gifts. I know that every time I find out a friend is pregnant I go and buy them things. It's a celebration and it makes me feel FANTASTIC to be able to buy them things that they can use for their babies.
Saying that throwing a shower for yourself is tacky is not being unsupportive, it is being honest.
OP- I think you should take these September chicks up on their offer. If Baby Showers is too harsh for you, they should be right up your alley.
Throwing yourself a party to get presents for having a baby because you don't have enough money is not a baby shower... it's a fundraiser. Go ahead and do it, but name it appropriately.
Or get your ass to some garage sales and save yourself some side eyes.
At least I am not the only one who was thinking this same thing.
It's not WHAT you are saying, it is HOW you are saying it. How thick are you people?
You can say you don't agree, but insulting someone is completely different.