I might be too passive agressive

vflipo · May 2010

I seriously feel like I'm a door mat. IRL, on TB, everywhere I go I just try to stay away from confrontation. I had some stuff to say about some of the comments people have been making lately but I'm too scared because I HATE confrontation. And I know this is going to cause some... but for some reason I feel that by not pointing out specifics no one will know what I'm talking about and it won't be as bad.

That is all.

iammad · May 2010

Val - I am exactly the same way. I often don't want to bring up my thoughts or opinions for fear of stirring the pot and pissing people off. I'm on the same boat with you on this topic.

celestej619 · May 2010

(((hugs))) I know how you feel. I don't like confrontation either and I feel like I always hold things in.

Texas77again · May 2010

girl let it out!!!! or else you will end up looking like this...OMG this freaking pic kills me everytime i see it.

vflipo · May 2010

Texas77again:
girl let it out!!!! or else you will end up looking like this...OMG this freaking pic kills me everytime i see it.

BAHAHAHA I love that pic too. But I can't do it. I love everyone on here and I KNOW someone (maybe a few people) will get pissed off and hate me forever. I'm apussy

Scout05 · May 2010

Tex - never fart in a wet suit. Words to live by.

Val, hon - just say what you mean and mean what you say. You don't have to be confrontational (or so I hear, I've never personally gone that route) to be honest.

There are people on here I love more than anything in the world, but if I don't agree with them, I will say so. Maybe nicer than I normally would, but I say it knowing my disagreeing with them is not going to be the end of our friendship. We're all stronger than that.

I think people need to realize 1) we all have off days on here 2) we all will disagree or not get along at one point 3) tomorrow is a new day, and we are all adults capable of moving on from a disagreement.

vflipo · May 2010

ambrandau2:
Tex - never fart in a wet suit. Words to live by.
Val, hon - just say what you mean and mean what you say. You don't have to be confrontational (or so I hear, I've never personally gone that route) to be honest.
There are people on here I love more than anything in the world, but if I don't agree with them, I will say so. Maybe nicer than I normally would, but I say it knowing my disagreeing with them is not going to be the end of our friendship. We're all stronger than that.
I think people need to realize 1) we all have off days on here 2) we all will disagree or not get along at one point 3) tomorrow is a new day, and we are all adults capable of moving on from a disagreement.

But you're amazing and everyone loves you so they would never be mad at you. I don't think that's even possible Stick out tongue

owenst · May 2010

I am RIGHT there with you. Nuff said.

Scout05 · May 2010

vflipo:
ambrandau2:

Tex - never fart in a wet suit. Words to live by.

Val, hon - just say what you mean and mean what you say. You don't have to be confrontational (or so I hear, I've never personally gone that route) to be honest.

There are people on here I love more than anything in the world, but if I don't agree with them, I will say so. Maybe nicer than I normally would, but I say it knowing my disagreeing with them is not going to be the end of our friendship. We're all stronger than that.

I think people need to realize 1) we all have off days on here 2) we all will disagree or not get along at one point 3) tomorrow is a new day, and we are all adults capable of moving on from a disagreement.

But you're amazing and everyone loves you so they would never be mad at you. I don't think that's even possible

Oh, sweet grasshopper. No. I have had my fair share of back and forths, and call outs. I've had people who should know better call me jealous, and people with no clue come over and call us ALL bitter wenches. My "kharma" has been mentioned many times.

Someone made up an AE to catalog all of my posts about pregnancy #4 and call me an AW, and imply I was faking my miscarriage for attention.

You have to just take it and accept it as part of being on a public board. Doesn't mean if doesn't hurt, doesn't mean you don't react and get feisty sometimes. But at the end of the day, my love and respect for this board is so strong that I will always be honest and truthful in my responses, even if it does sometimes get you into hot water with folks.

We love you too, and I, for one, would never hold it against you if you and I didn't see eye to eye on something.

Now, if you said you thought the Doodle wasn't cute or something, than we'd have to throw down. Wink

jen629 · May 2010

I love ya if that counts Stick out tongue

vflipo · May 2010

ambrandau2:

Oh, sweet grasshopper. No. I have had my fair share of back and forths, and call outs. I've had people who should know better call me jealous, and people with no clue come over and call us ALL bitter wenches. My "kharma" has been mentioned many times.
Someone made up an AE to catalog all of my posts about pregnancy #4 and call me an AW, and imply I was faking my miscarriage for attention.
You have to just take it and accept it as part of being on a public board. Doesn't mean if doesn't hurt, doesn't mean you don't react and get feisty sometimes. But at the end of the day, my love and respect for this board is so strong that I will always be honest and truthful in my responses, even if it does sometimes get you into hot water with folks.
We love you too, and I, for one, would never hold it against you if you and I didn't see eye to eye on something.
Now, if you said you thought the Doodle wasn't cute or something, than we'd have to throw down.

Never ever ever in a million years would I say anything bad about the Doodle. Big Smile

vflipo · May 2010

jen629:
I love ya if that counts

It counts a LOT little lady Big Smile I love you too!

lindsay.lou · May 2010

I can see what you're saying.

I don't really like to call out regulars on here or disagree with them a lot. There have been times where people disagreed with me on the Bump/Nest and I thought they were sort of snarky about it. I NEVER forget it. I always worry that if I call someone out they'll ALWAYS remember me as being rude.

KristysRedBarn · May 2010

I fell that way a lot of times too. I usually decide it's just not worth it.

bbhalphen · May 2010

I always want to know what you have to say!

I'm always scared I will say something on here and it will get taken the wrong way and I will get flamed! I erase so much stuff before posting it's not even funny!

vflipo · May 2010

lindsay.lou:
I can see what you're saying.
I don't really like to call out regulars on here or disagree with them a lot. There have been times where people disagreed with me on the Bump/Nest and I thought they were sort of snarky about it. I NEVER forget it. I always worry that if I call someone out they'll ALWAYS remember me as being rude.

Exactly. EXACTLY!!

vflipo · May 2010

bbhalphen:
I always want to know what you have to say!
I'm always scared I will say something on here and it will get taken the wrong way and I will get flamed! I erase so much stuff before posting it's not even funny!

Thanks hun! You always have good stuff to say though And, I do the same thing. a LOT

BeachCole · May 2010

Big hugs sweetheart.

pumkiepoo · May 2010

arath1:
Val - I am exactly the same way. I often don't want to bring up my thoughts or opinions for fear of stirring the pot and pissing people off. I'm on the same boat with you on this topic.

this is me...hence my earlier post about crying when I get upset about things and looking like a cry baby in front of my boss Crying
I just like to keep the peace

dandyelle · May 2010

It takes me like 20 minutes to formulate a post, much less snark or criticism (my IBS flares up just thinking about it).

I totally understand how you feel. For me, it's because this group is the only one where I can still be sad about having a cranky ute and no one thinks I'm BSC. IRL people expect me to have moved on. Here I can still talk about it and be upset. So I don't want to piss anyone off and end up the fat kid who's not allowed to play kickball, because this board is the last shred of sanity I have some days.

XOXO

ikissedthecook · May 2010

I know what you mean! I hate confrontation but I also have had issues with some comments. Usually I just click on another post and put it out of mind. If I really want to say something then I'm always honest. However, I try me best to be honest and as nice as possible at the same time. I LOVE the quote in kristyredbarn's siggy! I try to live by that.

3ltlones · May 2010

I am the same way. And, I really feel like people don't like me so I worry to say much of anything. I'm always really worried that I am going to hurt someones feelings, I would hate if I did so I'm just careful what I say. And, to add a little more to the crazy, almost every post I make, I feel like one of the answers is making fun of my question. I have a major complex.

bbhalphen · May 2010

3ltlones, I don't know anyone who doesn't like you!
Vflipo, you always say good things too!

I think because this IS in writing and not RL, it's a lot easier to read into things. Especially since you can't see someone's face behind a computer and their reactions.

michrocc · May 2010

3ltlones:
I am the same way. And, I really feel like people don't like me so I worry to say much of anything. I'm always really worried that I am going to hurt someones feelings, I would hate if I did so I'm just careful what I say. And, to add a little more to the crazy, almost every post I make, I feel like one of the answers is making fun of my question. I have a major complex.

Wha? I barely "know" you but I think you're lovely.

I don't like to get into it with girls on this board. We've all been through so much sh!t and we all have good days and bad days and so I try to be mindful of the fact that someone might say something that might seem snarky but that maybe it isn't about me it's about all the crap on their plate and I just need to be understanding and zip it. I love that we have ladies here who are straightforward and we have others who will keep the peace and still others who make jokes and still others who will offer hugs and kindness. I'd like to think I'm a little bit of each from time to time.

Now, I will not hesitate to go apesh!t on girls on other boards if they mess with any of you or us as a whole. And, no, I don't forget those girls either.

Scout05 · May 2010

3ltlones:
I am the same way. And, I really feel like people don't like me so I worry to say much of anything. I'm always really worried that I am going to hurt someones feelings, I would hate if I did so I'm just careful what I say. And, to add a little more to the crazy, almost every post I make, I feel like one of the answers is making fun of my question. I have a major complex.

ARE YOU NUTS?

We love your ass, lady.

Olive44 · May 2010

I'm the same way, Val. Not just here but IRL and everywhere. It sucks sometimes because I do feel like people walk all over me, but I also hate drama. Oh well.

mdm2137 · May 2010

arath1:
Val - I am exactly the same way. I often don't want to bring up my thoughts or opinions for fear of stirring the pot and pissing people off. I'm on the same boat with you on this topic.

This is me too.

rock-elle · May 2010

sometimes I feel I am too agressive IRL

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