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1st Trimester
Just emailed friend to break the news (Updated)
So, I posted a couple days ago about a friend who was having TTTC and how I was really not sure how or when to tell her about my pregnancy. Well I just emailed her and got this sinking feeling in my gut. I am so nervous. I hate that I had to give her this devastating news.
Update: My friend emailed me back and she was so understanding. She told me she was happy for me and congrats. She did say it hurt of course, but I emailed her back and told her that I will give her some space and that I will not bring up the pregnancy unless she asks for now. I also told her that I was so thankful to have such a wonderful and understanding friend.
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Re: Just emailed friend to break the news (Updated)
As someone that had TTTC I can tell you it was different when I heard it from a friend or one of my sisters. Sure it still hurt but in a different way. I was capable of being so happy for them and sad for myself instead of the bitterness and hurt I felt from a random BFP on Facebook.
I'm sure she'll be happy for you. And if nothing else you need to be happy for you. She'll get through this however she can, don't let it take away from your happiness and joy!
First of all, it is NOT devasting news!
After my loss, 3 of my friends got pregnant. Did it sting a little? Yes. But, I was still truly happy for them all.
Don't worry, enjoy your pregnancy!
I am on the same fence as Hyfagal about it being easier with friends and family. Even when things were hard my friends were usually great about giving me a little space after the news and letting me come around at my own time.
If you are good of a friend as you sound I am sure she will be happy for you!
Nope, she works at home and makes her own hours.
For about 5 years. We are best friends and talk every day. We had a girls night planned for Friday and I wanted to tell her before then because there will be other friends there and I wanted her to be the first to know.
Emailing wouldn't have been my first choice, but I posted a couple days ago for advice and most of the ladies agreed that his would be the best way to do it so that she could have some space after reading the news. We are best friends, so it was really hard to tell her, but see my update above, she took it really well.
I missed that. Maybe I should reconsider my approach. I just hate the thought of email something so big to one of my best friends. Please let us know how she takes it.
I didn't see the update, I will have to go back and look. I think it was really thoughtful of u to take her feelings into consideration. You are a great friend.
Good. I will be reconsidering how I break the news to my best friend.
Thank you all for your kind words and help with this situation. You ladies are the best!
It is not devastating news to you when you are pregnant, but when you have been dealing with Infertility or loss- it is devastating to know that someone's happiness brings you so much sadness and even more realization of what you can't do. After years of IF- as well as 3 losses- I think that you handled giving your AMAZING news to someone who is struggling extremely well. Congrats to you and I hope that in time your friend will be able to share all of your excitement:)
Agreed, after 4 yrs & 2 losses I definatly agree. Then you can sit at home, cry, drink wine like she said or just be upset because of your own infertility & when the time comes around to be happy for her friend she can.
I would also agree that an email is the kindest way to break this news. Your friend is happy for you, but your joy reminds her of her sadness, and it is kinder to let her process this alone than try to put on a fake happy smile.