2nd Trimester

R/P Claiming or owning a name?

Well this is getting ridiculous. We are almost 24 weeks pg with our second and we have been speaking to our family about names. One named we really loved was Jonah. I was speaking to my SIL (who is also my best friend) about it and she said that was the name that her and her husband really wanted to use and they loved it so much. We didn't want to cause any drama because we adore them and we had another name we loved equally so we thought we'd go with Gabriel and then DH's other little brother (who isn't even engaged, let alone pregnant) says "Hey that's going to be my kid's name! I thought this was a bit much and I think we still want to use it. Finally, today I was talking to my sister and said what do you think of Gabriel Wesley (wesley is my grandfather's name) and she said that her and her BF are going to name their son Wesley when they get pregnant!

None of  these couple are even thinking about having kids yet and only the one couple is married. I think I just need to keep names to myself from now on! Is it just me that this is a little bit ridiculous to "claim a name" when you haven't even thought about having kids yet?! I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, but this is kind of unfair!

Re: R/P Claiming or owning a name?

  • You should name your LO whatever you damn well please, no matter who claims it or doesn't like it. It's OK for cousins to share names. It's definitely not the end of the world.?
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  • Thats a little rediculous. For the non married couples especially- if they dont work out, whose to say their eventual spouse will agree on the choice?
  • That's exactly why I don't discuss names with anyone.  They can make suggestions, but I don't tell them the names we are considering.  More than likely they will end up changing thier mind when they do get PG (we did), so I would go ahead with the names you like and don't mention it to them again.
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  • If youre pregnant you get the name especially if you said what do you think of "said name" and they are all "Hey I want that" you have a new toy and they want to use it...........eventually you cant accomodate every one and if their feelings are hurt they will get over it. Dont you think they are hurting yours? By telling you what you cant do? Why are they more important than your LO? Just a thought.

    Ps Jonah Wesley is a cute name :D

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  • Everyone has something to say about the name you pick.

    Our baby boy is going to be Jackson Lukas.  After being dead set on the name for months, DH finds out that one of his friends is naming their child Jackson as well and is due just before us.  I don't care. 

    Then after announcing that it was a boy and what his name is my cousin me that that was the name she and her H loved for a boy ... but they are on a 5 year plan for children.  No way am I not going to go with it because of that.  I told her that if they still loved the name in 5 years they could name their son that too. (What's really funny is that her top girl name was our's as well).

    I do agree with not dicussing it.  Wait until you have decided and then tell them what the name is going to be.

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  • Say the same I did to my sister- "If you want that name, you better get on the ball then!"  She was not even in a serious relationship at the time, so I felt comfortable telling her so- it's a silly argument.
  • Name your kid what you want to name your kid.  These people aren't even pregnant yet.  And whose to say they won't change their mind when they do have kids?
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  • i say screw them! (sorry) Your kid, your choice... the only one that can be upset or dislike the name is your own kid and when they turn 18 they can change it if they end up having 3 sets of cousins with the same darn name.

    I hate it when ppl think they are entitled to something just because they thought about it too .... but then again I also think intellectual property is BS and I don't want to get political!

     

  • You should name your baby whatever you want to name him. If none of them are even pregnant, it's just silly for them to "claim" a name. Plus, when people end up getting pregnant, they may not even like that name anymore. I would go with the name you like!
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  • Use the name YOU like best...period!
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  • Yes, I agree with all of you. I'm all for not hurting people's feelings, but you're right- its a little rude for them to tell us what to do.

    Also, I agree about not discussing the names anymore. I am honestly shocked I ran into this problem because they aren't even pregnant! If the situations were reversed, I would NEVER say anything to that person. It kind of puts me in an awkward spot, like its our fault if we go with the name. I guess I'm just surprsied people would even say anything about it, considering the circumstances.

  • If they're not pregnant, you pick whatever name you want!  My sister has claims on all kinds of names.  She is not pregnant, or married, or engaged!  Her and I have very different tastes, but if DH and I loved one of her "claimed" names, we'd use it. 
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  • I despise the name claiming game.  Despise it.  SIL always used to do it even before any of us were married.  And now that we both have two kids, she still does it!  Its so dumb and quite honestly, many people change their name favorites as time goes on.  

    Just name your baby what you want and be done with it.  When they get pregnant, they can decide what they want... but right now, you are the one needing to pick a name! 

  • imageneferhathor:
    You should name your LO whatever you damn well please, no matter who claims it or doesn't like it. It's OK for cousins to share names. It's definitely not the end of the world.

    Yes

     

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  • That is ridiculous. Go with the name YOU love and don't worry about what they want to use. It's very likely they would end up changing their minds anyway and there's no way of knowing whether or not they will even have a son. They can't "claim" a name. My sister swore up and down for the longest time if she had a girl she would name her Gracie. Once she got married and did get pregnant, Gracie was no longer on the list. I so go for whatever name you like regardless.
  • if they're not pregnant, then they have no say.  End of discussion...name your child what you want!
  • And this is why we don't talk about names with anyone. We just tell everyone the name after we've already had it put on the birth certificate. Use whatever name you please.....the lady who has the baby first gets first dibs.
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  • You are pregnant NOW... use whatever name you love!
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    imageneferhathor:
    You should name your LO whatever you damn well please, no matter who claims it or doesn't like it. It's OK for cousins to share names. It's definitely not the end of the world.

    Ditto.

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  • imagehewinked:
    If they're not pregnant, you pick whatever name you want!  My sister has claims on all kinds of names.  She is not pregnant, or married, or engaged!  Her and I have very different tastes, but if DH and I loved one of her "claimed" names, we'd use it. 

    This. No one can CLAIM a name- especially if they aren't even pregnant yet. If you are pregnant first, you get dibs.

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  • imagehewinked:
    If they're not pregnant, you pick whatever name you want!  My sister has claims on all kinds of names.  She is not pregnant, or married, or engaged!  Her and I have very different tastes, but if DH and I loved one of her "claimed" names, we'd use it. 

    This. No one can CLAIM a name- especially if they aren't even pregnant yet. If you are pregnant first, you get dibs.

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  • My sister is weird like this too.  She's only just getting married, and she also just finished college, so they want to wait a few years to have a baby, and she's giving me lists of names I'm not allowed to use, because they've already chosen the names for their children.  If she wants to have 5, she better start soonTongue Tied

    I also have my BIL's 18 year-old GF who's giving me weird comments about the names.  She's been dating him for about 3 months now, so I can't even imagine baby names coming up in conversation.  She wants to name her baby with a family name from DH's family.  What makes it weird is that she wants to use DH's name, which is DH's father's name, and grandfather's name.  If I want to name my child after my husband it's all good and well, if she does, it's weird or is that just me?

  • I am sick and tired of people who are not even married or planning on having children in the next year saying they have a name reserved! I agree with the PP, they better get on the ball then! If they want that name, oh well, they aren't having a kid. They can name their kid Jonah too when/if it comes to it.

     

    Just stick with Jonah, don't discuss it with them, and when he is born there is NO going back, they're gonna have to suck it up!

     

    *grumble grumble* It really makes me mad :D







     
  • imageirlndsumer:
    That's exactly why I don't discuss names with anyone.  They can make suggestions, but I don't tell them the names we are considering.  More than likely they will end up changing thier mind when they do get PG (we did), so I would go ahead with the names you like and don't mention it to them again.

     I know it might sound strange but we knew the names we wanted to use before the BFP. After we started TTC, we would hear a name and talk about it.. We have one boy and one girl.. We havent discussed it with anyone but have TOLD them what we are using.. Given the boy isnt very common name, if they dont want to have the same name as us... THEY CAN CHANGE!

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  • I say name it anything Wesley. My BFF named her son Wesley, after her grandfather too.. Hmmm I wonder if you guys are related...
  • This is the stupidest thing I have ever heard............Are they not going to use these names now because you like them also??!?!?! Probably not, so why should you? You can name YOUR baby what ever YOU want and just because of their stupid comments, I would 100% go with my original choice:) 

     

    Good Luck 

  • you can't claim a name.  it's a ridiculous concept.

    i totally get respecting the first person who is at least married and she and her husband want to name the kid something you picked.  the rest can go F- themselves.  Pick what you want.  

    And personally? I don't think it's a good idea for cousins to have the same name, at least if they see each other frequently, and especially if they have the same last name.  But if you get the name first, it's yours, and the rest can back the heck off. 

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