How do you feel about discipline?

myonetruelove · May 2010

Are you pro spanking (open hand-butt)?

I am. Later on in life, I think it is fine as long as there are boundaries.

Who else is allowed to discipline your children?

If it is spanking, DH and I only! If we are not around the person in charge will be allowed to use other forms of discipline. Time out, taking a toy away..etc. This will be mostly grandparents and daycare provider. We also expect to know what happened and continue the punishment at home if needed. Like extending the time out or length of absence of the toy. I don't believe the grandparents should use any other methods of discipline.

Both of our parents were pro beating our a** ( in lighter terms ). DH and I don't resent what either of them did, but wants boundaries for our children. My mom does not spank her grandchildren and I know my IL's have. We plan on making this very clear to them.

AshlynsMom · May 2010

I am pro-spanking. I use it sparingly and the 'threat', if you will, of a spanking is usually enough to curb the behavior. And if I do spank, she usually tells me "that didn't even hurt, Mom".

I usually have the best results with counting from 3. BUT I actually follow through with what's supposed to happen instead of fizzling out with my follow-through.

But no one is allowed to spank her except my husband and me. Not my parents, my in-laws, the sitter, only us.

slmcronelaw · May 2010

DH and I are both pro spanking...sometimes I seriously think that is the only thing that works. now, I am like you, my parents and DH parents have been known to beat the crap out of us and our siblings but I really don't want my parents or his to beat my child. I was at my inlaws back before we even got pregnant and DH mom beat his step sisters kid so bad (while her mom was there) that I wanted to cry...i told DH that day that when we have kids, we will be the ones disciplining them, even at her house, not her...it tore me up to watch that...She was like, I scared you didn't I? I said, yep you did, so I can't imagine how she (the child) felt...

mdnawils · May 2010

I don't think that we will use spanking. I was spanked and for me I don't think that it really worked in the long run. We will use more redirection away from the issue. And always following through with consequences. DH's parents never followed through on any "threats" so DH and his brothers never took them seriously about anything.

sapphire angel · May 2010

My nephews have never caused problems for grandparents (ages 18, 11, 3 and 2) but I think they would only do time-outs, taking a toy away, no dessert, and the BIG WHOPPER of a punishment: "No riding on the tractor!" Honestly though, My parents have never said no to something the boys wanted so they go home spoiled rotten but have learned that it is a grandma/grandpa only kind of occurrence. I expect them to treat my daughter the same way but even more spoiled by her grandpa who already can't even put her down.

On a funny side note: I watched my Dad tell the youngest 'No' just to do it and that poor boy's face was horrified. His whole little world just shattered around him. Then he realized Grandpa didn't mean it and they went out to play on the tractor. He also told on my sister for telling him to wait just a minute for something.

FI and I are pro-spanking if the situation is a serious offense otherwise we will probably try other disciplinary actions first. No one else would be allowed to administer a spanking though. We both got our butts whooped when we were little and deserved it and we turned out just fine :-)

kcisthebombdotcom · May 2010

I'm not pro or anti-spanking-it all depends on the child and what works for them. My cousin spanks her son and it is not an effective punishment for him at all. My SIL does not spank and uses time out/redirecting which doesn't work for her LO.

jennybeams · May 2010

I am 100% against spanking. Both my parents did it to me and I can honestly say all it did was teach me to hit. I hit kids in school and even later in life it has taught me to be a very agressive person. I do not want to pass that on to my children.

ms_mellor · May 2010

KC_13:
I'm not pro or anti-spanking-it all depends on the child and what works for them.

This. It's very easy to say what you will or won't do before you get to that stage. My older DD is only 2, so although we have 2 year old issues, I could never imagine spanking her because she's not doing what she's doing to try and be bad...she's just 2. As she gets older, we'll see what works with her...I hope I don't have to spank, but if nothing else works...

myonetruelove · May 2010

jennybeams:
I am 100% against spanking. Both my parents did it to me and I can honestly say all it did was teach me to hit. I hit kids in school and even later in life it has taught me to be a very agressive person. I do not want to pass that on to my children.

This statement is a case-by-case scenario. Not every child who is spanked will hit others or become violent. You can choose why or why not you choose to spank based on you past experiences. I just don't think it is a generalized statement. I have an example. My mother was extremely strict on all of my siblings, but one. My little sister was spoiled, never got in trouble and got what ever she wanted. Most of the time I was in trouble was because of her. She was the violent one, the one still living with and off of my mom. She has been sent to anger management classes for beating up a girl at school..etc.

Mrs.KaityJane · May 2010

We will not spank. I plan on redirecting, time outs and having consequences for behaviors both good and bad.

nealbl · May 2010

I am not sure if I will spank or not. It depends on the situation. I am not going to say I am going to spank my child because I do not knwo fi I will ever need to. Timeout will be my first option but if it ever gets to teh point where a spanking is needed than so be it, but just a swat!

Anyone who is watching LO can displine her(not spanking only DH and I can do that).

honeybee111 · May 2010

We are going to go with redirecting, time outs, positive reinforcement, and appropriate consequences, but we're not ruling out spanking totally. My parents used spanking as an absolute last resort - like they tried all the other methods, gave me a last warning, and then I got spanked. They only had to carry it all the way to spanking a few times and I don't think it affected me negatively. We'll probably do something similar with our children. We've already met with our nanny about discipline and she will not spank DD.

laurel_howeth · May 2010

I am pro-spanking. I was spanked and never thought I was abused and don't have any issues because of it. We will only spank on the butt and we decided not to use our hands. We believe we love with our hands. They will have a paddle I am sure.

We won't let anyone else discipline using spanking, that will solely at our discretion. They can use time out, a firm voice, or taking away something.

sila129 · May 2010

I was spanked as a child and I am not a violent person as an adult, but I will not be spanking my child due to the fact that I'm scared of the consequences. Example: (and I'm not saying this happens all the time...its just an example) A few years ago friend of mine spanked, and bc of it her kid started hitting other kids in pre-school bc he didn't understand that hitting was not ok.. "mommy does it to me" was what he told his teachers and then child services got involved....my friend was in no way abusive... I'm just a bit of an alarmist and wouldn't want that happening to me... plus, I do believe there are other good ways to discipline w/o spanking..

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