Sex clicky: Is it better ...

MrsEditorJax · May 2010

I was getting caught up on TV and just finished the episode of Parenthood where Adam realizes his wife fakes it sometimes -- and she confirms as much -- and it got me wondering ...[Poll]

~Lynchie~ · May 2010

I stopped faking at 22, it was my birthday gift to myself. I dont get faking anyway, I dont think that guys should be rewarded for not doing their job.

ChubbyCheekiesMom · May 2010

I've never faked. Just not me to do something like that.

heather318 · May 2010

~Lynchie~:
I stopped faking at 22, it was my birthday gift to myself. I dont get faking anyway, I dont think that guys should be rewarded for not doing their job.

This. It's not like guys are able to fake it if they get nothing out of it!

MrsH_08 · May 2010

~Lynchie~:
I dont think that guys should be rewarded for not doing their job.

I've never faked it and I love J's take on it!

Brynnie2010 · May 2010

The way I see it, I'd want to know if I dropped the ball, I figure he should be aware of what's not working for me as well.

MrsEditorJax · May 2010

I don't really, ever ... make it to the party ... in certain positions, and DH knows that, so there's no point in me faking it because he'd know immediately.

Brynnie2010 · May 2010

MrsEditorJax:
I don't really, ever ... make it to the party ... in certain positions, and DH knows that, so there's no point in me faking it because he'd know immediately.

I totally hear you! It's not that I don't enjoy it anyway so I made it clear to DH that as long as I'm not lying there not moving, and not making any noise, than I am enjoying myself just fine, thank you very much

Mysticblossom21 · May 2010

MrsEditorJax:
I don't really, ever ... make it to the party ... in certain positions, and DH knows that, so there's no point in me faking it because he'd know immediately.

I couldn't have said it better myself.

iHeartHimMore · May 2010

MrsEditorJax:
I don't really, ever ... make it to the party ... in certain positions, and DH knows that, so there's no point in me faking it because he'd know immediately.

Yup. This. I'm one of the unlucky millions that can't get there internally. DH is very good about making sure I'm taken care of first. But if for some reason (like, say, copious amounts of alcohol) it's just not going to happen, we both know it.

I have faked in the past with ex-boyfriends. But that was YEARS ago - gave it up around 21 or 22, like Lynchie. And I've never done it with DH.

MissLauraQ · May 2010

I've faked it - too many times to count in my life. I've also done the other too. Only DH knew I don't O. All the other guys never knew. But I didn't know how to O myself until age 27 anyhow, so I can't teach something I didn't know.

But I'm one of those unlucky women who can't O AT ALL unless I have a battery powered friend. And unfortunately I have to have my "friend" just the right way or it's useless. I feel so high maintenance. And sometimes he wants to help me, but I know it would take FOREVER, and I'd rather not have all that work done for maybe no outcome.

DH knows that but sometimes I think he has forgotten.

Anyway - I only get to bring my "friend" to the party once or twice a year...so I kinda fake it just it doesn't seem I'm "just doing it" - which I kinda am. But I love him and enjoy being with him. I just don't get to O

MSTie24 · May 2010

MissLauraQ:
I've faked it - too many times to count in my life. I've also done the other too. Only DH knew I don't O. All the other guys never knew. But I didn't know how to O myself until age 27 anyhow, so I can't teach something I didn't know.
But I'm one of those unlucky women who can't O AT ALL unless I have a battery powered friend. And unfortunately I have to have my "friend" just the right way or it's useless. I feel so high maintenance. And sometimes he wants to help me, but I know it would take FOREVER, and I'd rather not have all that work done for maybe no outcome.
DH knows that but sometimes I think he has forgotten.
Anyway - I only get to bring my "friend" to the party once or twice a year...so I kinda fake it just it doesn't seem I'm "just doing it" - which I kinda am. But I love him and enjoy being with him. I just don't get to O

I am sorta in the same boat except I can't O at all. Or at least never have, so I doubt ever will. It's frustrating/disappointing but I feel the same way- even without it I enjoy myself at least. Not that I'm glad for you that we have similar "issues" but it's kind of nice to feel a bit less alone.

sommerrayne · May 2010

I don't view it as "rewarding a guy for not doing his job" because A) its not just HIS JOB to get "it" done for the woman and

their ego is so wrapped up in sexual satisfaction - and their ego is so delicate around those things most times and C) its a biological fact that penis in vagina intercourse alone is a much less likely O triggering method than with other interventions so why should they be punished for nature's screwing women with a "lay back and think of England" wife just laying there waiting for them to get done.

Now, that said, I think a hefty portion of "getting it done" lays in the hands of those who are faking it too! In this day and age and with the technologies available (that most guys like too, mind you!) - there's no reason to HAVE to fake it if you put 2 grains of effort into it yourself.

I've faked just to get it over (there are just times, no matter what I do participation wise, its just not going to happen and I don't think its fair to him to make it an entirely lackluster experience), I've faked it to help his ego: men are testosterone driven and biologically/physically are driven to have a much higher sex drive on the whole than most women and in respecting that balance, I oblige but sometimes choose to fake in order to satiate the physical and emotional component of it because as much as we women often want to say that their egde to always have sex is physical, its also very emotionally connected. I've faked for many reasons but never have I viewed it as me being disingenuous to the process. If I could have gotten myself there with his help, I would have but being as though nature deals a bunk hand to women on occasion, I don't think he has to suffer because of it. I view it as no harm, no foul.

Seattle_JiLLn · May 2010

Sometimes I feel like it's just not going to happen. For whatever reason I'm distracted, not that into it, whatever... I start making a grocery list in my head and it's all over. It's not his fault. Why should I make him think it was a bad time? I'd rather just fake it and move on and write that grocery list down so I don't forget. I don't think it's rewarding them for a bad job. It's just not making them feel bad if it just isn't going to happen this time.

CDMay2006 · May 2010

Honesty is the best policy, here and elsewhere. With an honest relationship as a basis, both partners knowing about less-successful interaction won't harm anyone. Dishonesty, however, opens the door for confusion, hurt feelings and further dishonesty.

preston18 · May 2010

Seattle_JiLLn:
I'd rather just fake it and move on and write that grocery list down so I don't forget.

Hee!

I made no secret from the beginning about the difficulites I have. Plan B and Plan C are always available and travel with us. Soemtimes Plan A works and I don't need them. It's not him doing his "job" it's my body being whacky. I blame a very strong course of anti-depressants when I was 25. I could come to the party early and often before then. I'll trade that for emotional health.

~Lynchie~ · May 2010

sommerrayne:
I don't view it as "rewarding a guy for not doing his job" because A) its not just HIS JOB to get "it" done for the woman and their ego is so wrapped up in sexual satisfaction - and their ego is so delicate around those things most times and C) its a biological fact that penis in vagina intercourse alone is a much less likely O triggering method than with other interventions so why should they be punished for nature's screwing women with a "lay back and think of England" wife just laying there waiting for them to get done.

I find it a pretty broad statement to say that all men's ego is wrapped up in sexual satisfaction... I happen to know for a fact that my husbands ego is DEFINITELY not wrapped up in sexual satisfaction. I know that he would like me to come, but if I dont hes not going to throw himself a little pity party about it. Why would he, he just got to O?? I think that if he were to find that I was faking it would be worse than me just not faking it. And its not like I just lay there like a lump while he twitches on top of me I definitely enjoy myself, but there are sometimes when he is being lazy and Im not going to let him think that he can slack off and I will O that way too, that will just lead to more slacking and less Oing...

Not faking is NOT punishment. Punishment would be me pushing him off of me the second I realize its not going to happen and not let him O either.

sommerrayne · May 2010

~Lynchie~:

sommerrayne:
I don't view it as "rewarding a guy for not doing his job" because A) its not just HIS JOB to get "it" done for the woman and their ego is so wrapped up in sexual satisfaction - and their ego is so delicate around those things most times and C) its a biological fact that penis in vagina intercourse alone is a much less likely O triggering method than with other interventions so why should they be punished for nature's screwing women with a "lay back and think of England" wife just laying there waiting for them to get done.

I find it a pretty broad statement to say that all men's ego is wrapped up in sexual satisfaction... I happen to know for a fact that my husbands ego is DEFINITELY not wrapped up in sexual satisfaction. I know that he would like me to come, but if I dont hes not going to throw himself a little pity party about it. Why would he, he just got to O?? I think that if he were to find that I was faking it would be worse than me just not faking it. And its not like I just lay there like a lump while he twitches on top of me I definitely enjoy myself, but there are sometimes when he is being lazy and Im not going to let him think that he can slack off and I will O that way too, that will just lead to more slacking and less Oing...

Not faking is NOT punishment. Punishment would be me pushing him off of me the second I realize its not going to happen and not let him O either.

Wow, I didn't think my opinion would offend so! Geesh!

~Lynchie~ · May 2010

sommerrayne:
~Lynchie~:

sommerrayne:
I don't view it as "rewarding a guy for not doing his job" because A) its not just HIS JOB to get "it" done for the woman and their ego is so wrapped up in sexual satisfaction - and their ego is so delicate around those things most times and C) its a biological fact that penis in vagina intercourse alone is a much less likely O triggering method than with other interventions so why should they be punished for nature's screwing women with a "lay back and think of England" wife just laying there waiting for them to get done.

I find it a pretty broad statement to say that all men's ego is wrapped up in sexual satisfaction... I happen to know for a fact that my husbands ego is DEFINITELY not wrapped up in sexual satisfaction. I know that he would like me to come, but if I dont hes not going to throw himself a little pity party about it. Why would he, he just got to O?? I think that if he were to find that I was faking it would be worse than me just not faking it. And its not like I just lay there like a lump while he twitches on top of me I definitely enjoy myself, but there are sometimes when he is being lazy and Im not going to let him think that he can slack off and I will O that way too, that will just lead to more slacking and less Oing...

Not faking is NOT punishment. Punishment would be me pushing him off of me the second I realize its not going to happen and not let him O either.

Wow, I didn't think my opinion would offend so! Geesh!

Hey, I'm just defending my statement.

Seattle_JiLLn · May 2010

CDMay2006:
Honesty is the best policy, here and elsewhere. With an honest relationship as a basis, both partners knowing about less-successful interaction won't harm anyone. Dishonesty, however, opens the door for confusion, hurt feelings and further dishonesty.

. I think of it more like a small white lie to be nice. If I ask if my butt looks bug the answer is no. That's not some global dishonesty that will damage a relationship. And if on occasion it just isn't going to happen and you fake it I don't see the harm. I do see harm if you are seriously dissatisfied with your sex life in general and you fake it and never let him know that things aren't great fir you. That's a whole different scenario.

ChubbyCheekiesMom · May 2010

~Lynchie~:
sommerrayne:
I don't view it as "rewarding a guy for not doing his job" because A) its not just HIS JOB to get "it" done for the woman and their ego is so wrapped up in sexual satisfaction - and their ego is so delicate around those things most times and C) its a biological fact that penis in vagina intercourse alone is a much less likely O triggering method than with other interventions so why should they be punished for nature's screwing women with a "lay back and think of England" wife just laying there waiting for them to get done.

I find it a pretty broad statement to say that all men's ego is wrapped up in sexual satisfaction... I happen to know for a fact that my husbands ego is DEFINITELY not wrapped up in sexual satisfaction. I know that he would like me to come, but if I dont hes not going to throw himself a little pity party about it. Why would he, he just got to O?? I think that if he were to find that I was faking it would be worse than me just not faking it. And its not like I just lay there like a lump while he twitches on top of me I definitely enjoy myself, but there are sometimes when he is being lazy and Im not going to let him think that he can slack off and I will O that way too, that will just lead to more slacking and less Oing...

Not faking is NOT punishment. Punishment would be me pushing him off of me the second I realize its not going to happen and not let him O either.

I agree with you Lynchie. My H knows I can't O during sex and it doesn't make him feel like less of a man. For that matter we have never been with anyone else so his ego is all about us. And if I've never O'd from the start then how does that hurt him? I don't think it's his job to make me O anyway but I also don't understand faking it. Even if it's a white lie I just don't get it. But I am all about honest and open.

Mommie2b882010 · May 2010

I tried to fake it once & he laughed at me and asked what I was doing..( I really wasnt in the mood to have sex) But he refused to stop until i got 1.. LOL..At least he knew!! Confused

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