8 Months

noah-bear · May 2010

That's how long DH wants to wait. It hurts to think that we wont even be trying when my first EDD passes, but the second!? I have to go through two EDD's knowing we aren't even making any sort of attempt.

I keep trying to talk to him about this. We haven't even actually sat down and discussed everything yet. He assumes one thing and I hope for another.

triple_sevens · May 2010

I'm sorry, noah. I think real, honest communication on this issue is important. Let him know when you want to start TTC again (and why) and listen to him when he tells you why he wants to wait.

You'll figure it out together.

KristysRedBarn · May 2010

I'm sorry. I hope you can sit down and figure out what will work for both of you. It's really hard, for quite awhile we were in different places on trying again.

johannaknip · May 2010

I'm sorry NB. I hope you guys can talk and come to some a decision that works for you both. Something we did was to sit out (X) ammount of time and then re-visit. Maybe he's be willing to do that? That way the door is still open.

Marriedandlovingit · May 2010

I am so sorry. Like pp said, I would definitely have a sit down and talk about why each of you feels the way you do. Big hugs to you.

DoingItRight · May 2010

I hope that you are able to talk and work out a compromise that makes both of you happy.

611bride05 · May 2010

I am so sorry- I Hope he changes his mind. With one of my EDD's right around the corner I can only imagine how you are feeling.

suntoto · May 2010

I think that is wise. Loss is hard for BOTH parties in a relationship and he probably needs it to heal. Additionally you have made other posts on here that have implied that he is going through a lot right now, so the rest/break should give him the needed time to heal and deal with his issues.

writergirl5786 · May 2010

((hugs)) i'm so sorry honey. i hope you guys can sit down and talk about it. ((hugs))

madladybride · May 2010

suntoto:
I think that is wise. Loss is hard for BOTH parties in a relationship and he probably needs it to heal. Additionally you have made other posts on here that have implied that he is going through a lot right now, so the rest/break should give him the needed time to heal and deal with his issues.

I agree with this, but I'd like to add that it's great that he is communicating with you and being honest. Also, I've been in/am in the same boat. My second EDD is in June and I doubt I will be pregnant by then. My first EDD has already passed. My DH had/has issues with me getting pregnant again. There was alot of trauma/drama associated with my first mc, including a ride in an ambulance. He is very worried about it. I know how you feel, but it's better that everyone is on the same page. I just wish I had more time - I'll be 36 this year and I feel every month we wait makes it harder, and I know alot of other people feel this way, too.

vflipo · May 2010

I'm so sorry ((hugs)) I hope he changes his mind

Aubs0009 · May 2010

Oh Noah I'm so sorry. I hope you can both come to an agreement that works for you. (( Big Hugs))

bbhalphen · May 2010

I'd just give him some time if I were you and not try to bring it up again for a cycle or so. I was thinking that he's probably scared too. Maybe he'll change his mind. I hate that you have to go through this again!

noah-bear · May 2010

lrachelle80:
I hope you guys can talk it out. Do you know why he wants to wait? I'm sure he's just as scared as you are but maybe doens't feel strong enough right now to have another loss (not that you will...this will be your sticky rainbow baby!).

I think it's a combination of everything. The stress from school and work along with the two losses. I think it's easier for him to wait than it is for me. If we wait until Jan, there's a very very high chance of us moving when I'm in my late 2nd/early 3rd trimester. We'd be moving from KS to either DC or TX.

To me, having a LO sooner would make it so much easier on all of us because I'd have my MW, our family and friends and help if we needed it. Plus, no stress of moving when pregnant. No need to find a new OB mid pregnancy.

It's going to take a lot of talking, but I know we'll both have our opinions of how it should go. I'm willing to wait if it would make things easier on him. I just don't think he really thinks about the future and whole aspect of things going along with it.

sciteach104 · May 2010

Noah, I am sorry. I agree with everyone else, talk about it with DH and hopefully together you two can figure out what works best for your family.

Etta07 · May 2010

Noah I am sorry. I hope you guys can have a good discussion and really open up the lines of communication. I am trying that right now but he seems like a wall of no emotion so here's to praying you have a meaningful conversation soon that gets both of you to an understanding location of the other. {{HUGS}}

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