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Question from the IF board

ohiostategalohiostategal member
in Adoption
Hi ladies, I post on the IF board but follow this board closely (hopefully this doesn't sounds stalkerish!). ?Anyway, we really aren't that far into IF treatments yet, compared to so many. ?However, I have some questions about adoption. ?I have always wanted to adopt, even before I had any IF diagnosis. ?Because I knew it is usually harder to get pg the older you are, I had "planned" on wanting to have a couple of bio kids first then move to adoption. ?With IF though and my two losses, I am starting to really feel the pull towards looking into adoption earlier. ?

I don't think we will do IVF, but still want to pursue many more cycles of treatment. ?Has anyone on here started to look at adoption while still actively pursuing IF treatment? ?Do many agencies allow this? ?We would be pursuing domestic adoption most likely. ?My father is a family law attorney with many connections to attorneys that do adoption law so I might want to look at this route as well as looking at agencies. ?I plan on going to get the adoption for dummies book that has been recommended on here so much but I guess I just wanted to see if anyone on here that has IF looked at adoption this "early" in the game or continued to cycle while pursuing adoption. ?Any experience to share would be appreciated.? DH and I haven't started serious discussions yet, I am just looking for more information so we can start these discussions sooner rather than later. ??TIA ladies. ?

Dx with PCOS and IR June 2009
After two losses, third time was a charm.
pm me for blog link
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Re: Question from the IF board

  • Art TeacherArt Teacher

    We did 4  IUIs and 3 IVFs.  While doing the IUIs, I started reading about adoption.  Then before we did IVF #1, we spoke to an adoption agency and went to 2 informational meetings.

    Our agency did not want you to continue treatment if you were pursuing adoption.  We waited until after we had done all 3 IVFs.  Then we contacted them again and started the process. 

    I don't think there's anything wrong with looking into it now.  I think you are being proactive. 

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  • sw_in_kcsw_in_kc

    There is no harm in gathering information while still doing treatments.

    Some of the agencies we looked in to specifically said that all fertility treatments had to be completed before applying for the agency.

    Good luck in your treatments!

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  • lovemymonkeylovemymonkey

    The two agencies we met with also allowed us to pursue fertility treatments while starting the adoption process although that wasn't their preference. they did have a stipulation though that we had to notify them immediately upon confirmation of pregnancy if we got pregnant. At that point, our file would immediately be placed on hold.

     

    After 5 years of TTC, 3 IUIs, 5 IVFs, 2 FETs, multiple losses and an adoption that wasn
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  • meganroseleemeganroselee member

    My husband and I have been trying for just over a year.  With the diagnoses of PCOS and MFI and after two unsuccessful IUIs we're in the process of selecting an adoption agency and are trying to decide between two agencies. Like you, I always wanted to adopt but I figured it would be after my husband and I gave birth to two kids (so naive, I had this dream of having two boys or two girls then we would go and adopt whatever gender we didn't have to make the perfect addition to our family) I think that its entirely appropriate to start looking now, especially since this was your plan (if not in this exact order).  There is so much information out there and a month into the process, my head is still spinning.  My husband and I plan on an IVF cycle sometime in the six months after I get back on active duty and both agencies we're looking at have no limitations on pursuing fertility treatments.  It would probably be a good idea for you to make sure that you go with an agency that allows this. Good luck and please feel free to PM me if you want to talk or have any questions.


    Megan

    33 yo, DH with MFI Iui x4, Dec 2009 to Jan2011 all BFN.... IVF May 2011 BFP, mc June 2011 at 6.5 weeks, FET Oct 2011 BFP! Sweet baby girl born 25 June 2012** started adoption process Feb 2010, approved Oct 2010, failed match in delivery rooms Feb & Aug 2011... Birthmom called back 3d after we returned home. Aug 26 2011, our sweet baby boy comes home for good!!
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  • rwunderlich13rwunderlich13

    We didn't start getting into domestic adoption until we had had enough of IF treatments. We did Clomid and injectables and never got anywhere. We *could've* done IVF but I have PCOS and I know it's not ideal to become pregnant with and for the same amount of money we could adopt so that is when we left IF in the dust and never looked back :)   (something I couldn't be more thrilled about)

    As far as what agencies think about it? I'm not sure, I would assume they are all different but we used an adoption facilitator and I don't think it's something she likes her clients to be going through ESPECIALLY since most of her matches happen with 1-4 months, it could lead to a lot of disrupted matches for the birthmoms.

     Good luck with whatever you choose!

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  • ohiostategalohiostategal member
    Thanks ladies for all your responses. ?This is something I am just started to look at and know that we wouldn't be pursuing for awhile. ?DH still wants to focus on TTC for a little longer before also pursuing adoption so I am going to be gathering as much info as possible in the meantime. ?Thanks again.
    Dx with PCOS and IR June 2009
    After two losses, third time was a charm.
    pm me for blog link
    Report Reply
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