Is this strange or just me? Dance recital related.

#6 · May 2010

Just got the "BIG" email from our dance schools director. It has all the rules and info for rehearsal and recital nights in it. So far it has come across informative and helpful but sort of a little bit harsh/rude. This one line has me puzzled. Not sure how I feel.

"Generally no under panties or bras are to be worn under the costumes. Younger dancers you will wear the tights , no panties."

How do you feel about this? There are about 4 moms that sign up to be backstage help. I did not sign up because if you sign up you are not allowed to watch any part of the recital. You even miss your dd/ds other than watching from behind the curtains. Plus I know if I were to sign up it would be mass chaos and I cant handle that. I would be too panicked worrying about if all the girls have been to the bathroom, messing up costumes, etc between routines. They have 3 and they are spaced out between other classes.

So, would you be ok with your 3-4yr old backstage in only tights or am I just being a prude. Im usually not but this is just odd to me. I know the girls are going to freak out that they wont have on panties.

KellyMichelle · May 2010

I danced my whole life and we didn't wear underwear under our clothes. It was just a normal part of dancing. Honestly costumes are pulled on and off so quickly you aren't naked for more than a second. I can see how it would make you uncomfortable as a parent though. I promise is so crazy backstage no one is looking at anything.

firefightersgal · May 2010

We have the same rules. No panties, no parents backstage. I'm not terribly thrilled about it, personally.

ETA: The no panties thing doesn't bother me in itself. I never have her wear panties under her tights to dance class. My issue is that some mother I've never met is going to be stripping my child down. I'm sure there will be zero issue, but it still gives me a bit of anxiety. That, and the fact that she'll be backstage for 2+ hours with not much supervision. I can only imagine she'll get bored and get into trouble.

BabyChickpea · May 2010

Not strange at all. I think no undies is a general rule in the dance world. They don't want to see princess panties sticking out all over the place!

4Speedy · May 2010

It's pretty typical to not wear panties under dance and/or gymnastic costumes. I don't think it's odd at all. And the degree to which you are upset over this makes me think you have some underlying issue that isn't about this recital at all.

DandR · May 2010

The studio my girls are at has the same rule. She always says "Dancers don't wear underwear...they just dont."

However, my girls have one costume, they arrive dressed in it (bathrobe over to prevent it from getting dirty) so there won't be any changing...and my girls can use the restroom by themselves....hmmm..maybe they would need help with their costumes...I don't know. I guess I never thought about it or worried. It's all "mom's" that are backstage, so I would hope that they aren't pervy.....

#6 · May 2010

I danced from 3yrs-6th grade but ALWAYS wore underwear. I think that is why its throwing me off.

Very true about it being crazy and costumes being pulled on and off so fast. It seems she has it very organized by class and sections off parts of the rooms for each class. Each class is assigned 4 helpers..one of them being the leader. This is usually a "seasoned" mom who knows the ins and outs of recital night. No visitors are allowed back stage and only female parent/guardians 2/per dancer are allowed back and only at intermission at that.

I guess I will just take a chill pill with this one and see how it goes.

cristiana · May 2010

DD's been dancing since she was 3, and she has never worn underwear under her tights, for recitals or classes.

Saki38 · May 2010

I have danced my whole life aswell and had the same rules. my 3 year old is in ballet and jazz and was told she couldn't wear any panties. It just looks ugly when its coming out on the sides. I did go to a competition where 15 year olds were dancing in leotards (no tights) and that was just wrong. I think they need to wear tights.

#6 · May 2010

4Speedy:
It's pretty typical to not wear panties under dance and/or gymnastic costumes. I don't think it's odd at all. And the degree to which you are upset over this makes me think you have some underlying issue that isn't about this recital at all.

No. Sort of strange you twist this though. Just not sure how I feel having other people stripping my child and re-dressing my child makes me feel. And Im worried how my girls will handle it. Kennedy is very shy.

ETA: And Im not "upset" Just a little thrown off by it.

knmommy · May 2010

I guess I would probably feel the same way. They didn't have that rule at Kaitlyn's recitle, she wore undies.

WhiteOrchid. · May 2010

I danced for 15 years and never once wore underwear under my tights for class or performances. DD had her recital last week and it didn't really phase me to leave her backstage with the mom volunteers. If you have a concern, talk to the director and see if she can ease your fears.

Rebekah1021 · May 2010

Nope. No undies. I took ballet from age 4 - 18 and from the beginning we never wore them for classes or performances.

Also, parents were never allowed backstage unless you were the backstage mom.

DandR · May 2010

also, the harsh/rudeness tone of the letter is probably because so many people don't follow the rules. Our "recital" letter was very much similar. "no one back stage" "hair and make up done" "if you aren't there an hour before, you don't get to be in the performance." etc, etc. I mean, its a LOT of people and I think the studio has to make it strict or it gets more chaotic than usual.

WhiteOrchid. · May 2010

Looking again at your post, I'm kind of confused about what your concern is. Are you worried that your girls will be freaked out about not having on underwear, or are you concerned about other people watching them or harming them? If you're worried about your girls being uncomfortable in only tights, I would let them run around the house for a few hours a day with their tights and leotards on to get used to not having on underwear.

#6 · May 2010

WhiteOrchid.:
Looking again at your post, I'm kind of confused about what your concern is. Are you worried that your girls will be freaked out about not having on underwear, or are you concerned about other people watching them or harming them? If you're worried about your girls being uncomfortable in only tights, I would let them run around the house for a few hours a day with their tights and leotards on to get used to not having on underwear.

That is a good idea. Im also going to send them to class next week (last class) and rehearsal without panties.

My main concern in on how they will react to other moms dressing/undressing them. I guess at that age they dont care.

shopgirl78 · May 2010

No underwear at our recital also but she does wear them for class : )

AggieCouple · May 2010

They'll be wearing their leotard/costumes, right? ML also has her recital coming up and they also told us no underwear. I totally understand. ML's are forever showing under her tights, if she stretches or uses the restroom and doesn't pull her undies up all the way.

Scooter359 · May 2010

I'm not a dancer, so I find that weird I guess. Also just the fact that I hate not wearing underwear. It seems to be the norm from what I've read on this post so I would try and let them go a couple of days commando and see how it goes.

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Is this strange or just me? Dance recital related.

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